How to get over your ex and no longer be a sad case who is unhappy, unemployed, overweight or unattractive, and become the kind of successful healthy person everyone wants to be around and date.
In this video-coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who found my work ten months ago after his long-term girlfriend dumped him. He moved in with his mom, was fresh out of college and unemployed. He wasn’t eating or sleeping and had no motivation or pride to work. He’s since read my book twelve times, lost a lot of weight, changed his physiology, started getting dates, got a great paying job with a great company and published a book. His ex eventually started contacting him again, but it wasn’t until recently, when he met a woman who knocked his socks off, that he finally was able to let her go. He details what he did to turn his life around and put himself on the path to reaching his full potential. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
When I first found your work, I had just been dumped by my long-term girlfriend and had moved back with my mum, fresh out of university and unemployed. I was in state of desperation to try and get my ex back. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, I had no pride and I had no motivation to look for work. Who would employ a sad case like that anyway?!
(People will act consistently with how they view themselves to be, and if you’re not happy with yourself or your life, that’s what you need to focus on first before you think about getting into a relationship, or even dating. You need to get your life to the point where you’re happy and you feel like you’re making progress towards your ultimate vision and mission for yourself, or your life’s work.
It may take you 10 or 20 years to get to where you want to be, but if you’re on the path and you know what you want, why you want it and you’re headed in that direction, you’re willing to take the action to get there, and to fill in your knowledge gap and acquire the skills you don’t have, maybe develop the skills you do have to be even better by practicing, then it’s just simply a matter of time before success happens.)
I want to thank you Coach, because I am proud to say that 10 months after finding your work, I am no longer that sad case. I have read your book 12 times, watched countless videos and started applying your teachings whenever I can. (Here’s another guy who has a great success story that’s read the book 12 times. That’s somebody who is a serious student. That’s somebody who has decided never again, I’ve had enough of this bullshit, I’ve hit rock bottom, and I’ll do whatever it takes to change my life. Guys that have great success stories and do well know the fundamentals.)
I lost a ton of fat and put on muscle, I changed up my appearance and my posture, which has led me to going on many successful dates.
I found myself a really well paying job in a great company and even fulfilled my childhood dream of writing a book and publishing it. (That’s fucking awesome, a childhood dream that tells me you had a passion for. You were willing to do the work, because it was fun. It was something you always dreamed of doing. That’s the beauty of doing something you love and have a passion for, because if you’re not totally committed and absolutely in love with whatever it is you’re doing, you’re never going to work hard enough to become really fucking great at it, where you just completely separate yourself from the competition. That’s what Steve Jobs talked about in his 2006 Stanford Commencement Address. It’s one of the best speeches I have ever seen in my life.)
I am now in non-stop pursuit of becoming a no.1 best selling fantasy author, and even recently gave a speech at my old primary school and taught classes on how to write a book to the kids. Despite of all of this, I could not shake the feeling of missing my ex, (Studies have shown it takes a year and a half, maybe a little longer, for the average person to get over the end of a relationship, to the point where that negative emotional charge is gone. The thing that really makes it go away is when you find somebody new that knocks your socks off. That’s why it’s important to do the work on yourself and get ready, so when it happens, it just flows effortlessly), especially considering that she broke no contact with me EXACTLY 8 months to the day after I implemented your methods of walking away, but leaving the door open. However, she only wished to be friends and wanted to congratulate me on my book. I walked away once more, as friendship did not work for me.
(The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it, and you obviously meant it. Good job.) So despite feeling like a 3% Man in my career and passions, I was still hung up on my ex. However, this changed a couple of days ago.
Ten months on from reading your book and doing the exercise of writing down all the qualities of my ideal woman… I met her. She was perfect. She fit the bill right down to every last detail. I took her for a date, we went back to her place and the rest is history. We stayed up all night, and it felt as if we had known each other for years. I found a girl who knocked my socks off! And I no longer care one ounce about my ex. (The universe is rewarding you because of your efforts, your actions and your belief in yourself.) All of this happened thanks to your work lifting me from being a loser, feeling sorry for myself, to a badass who makes his dreams come true.
I am now on my 13th read of your book, as my ideal woman hasn’t been incredibly responsive via text after our night together. (Keep in mind, there might be an ex in the background that she hasn’t gotten completely away from. You never know. That’s why it’s important to leave the door open, extend the invitation, and if the invitation is not accepted with enthusiasm or is turned down, then it’s best to just say ‘hey, give me a call if you change your mind,’ and leave it at that. If the ex screws himself by over-pursuing and chasing her out of his life, he’ll chase her right into your arms.)
So I am back to the playbook to see exactly where I went wrong; hopefully I can figure it out and arrange a second date, but if not, who cares?! I’ll find someone better; ain’t that right, Coach? (You bet your fucking ass dude. Once you have someone who knocks your socks off, and that relationship runs its course, deep down you know you’ll find somebody else. It’s just a matter of time.)
Thank you for everything, Corey. You have changed my life.
Here is a link to my book’s listing on Amazon so you can see something that you helped to make happen: “War Drum” by Jason McCarthy.
And here is my website if you would like to follow my journey: https://digino.org/how-to-write-a-book/
(I would like to say, you should sign up with Google Webmaster Tools and get the Google Analytics tracking code and embed that on your website, so every time a page is rendered, it adds the Google tracking code. That way, Google knows what people are doing on your website, what they’re clicking on, and how long they’re staying there. Also make sure you’ve got a site map on your website submitted through Google Webmaster Tools, and that will help Google know what your site’s about, what people are doing on it, and who better to send to your website.
The other thing I would say that you definitely want to do is treat your website like a blog, similar to what I do. Write short stories. Maybe write additional things about the characters in your book, so you can start building an audience. Think of yourself as kind of like a newspaper or a news channel, because content is king. So you’ll have people that will read your book, and they’ll go to your website to learn more about you, and you could have other short stories there. You could have an email subscribe in a very obvious place where people can subscribe to get notification of any new articles, and build your audience that way.
You love to write, obviously, so write things that you love. Publish or post regularly, same day, same time. If you notice, my YouTube videos, for the most part, are always published on the same day, at the same time, because Google and YouTube reward you for consistently publishing. That’s what helps them serve better ads. It makes it easier for them to make money off your videos or articles.
I would also suggest you sign up for Google AdSense, so you can put ads on your website. When I turned on ads on my YouTube channel, that literally quadrupled the amount of subscribers I was getting. When I added Google AdSense ads to my website, it doubled the web traffic on my website.)
I owe you a wheatgrass juice and an alkaline salad! Thanks Coach for being the role model that I have lacked my entire life.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Fear is the greatest obstacle that prevents most people from reaching their full potential. We will act consistently with how we view ourselves to be and what we think about ourselves. It does not matter whether this view is accurate or not. Successful people tell themselves an empowering and positive story about themselves. They also monitor and catch themselves when they notice negative self-talk or thoughts. We become what we think about and what we act upon. Everyone has personal doubts about themselves, but successful people take action even when success seems hopeless or impossible. Change the story that you tell yourself, and you will change your life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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