In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who says he has been on and off with a woman for three years. She jerks him around, blows him off and often never even shows up for their dates. He is considering moving away to be closer to his job, but it sounds like he is just telling her this to cause her to want to see and spend more time with him.
He admits that he has often acted needy and weak and waits around for her to tell him what to do. She obviously has already formed an opinion of him and keeps him around as backup while she looks for a guy who acts like a man and does what he wants. I tell him what to do to have any chance of her regaining any respect for him as a man and wanting to make and keep dates with him.
“As the saying goes, you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. When it comes to dating and relationships, once the other person has formed an opinion of you and what they think you are really like, it’s an uphill battle and almost impossible to change. This is especially true if you have done and said things over many days, weeks and months that have made you look weak, needy, desperate, immature, too compliant and like you don’t love, value or respect yourself. The only way it can be done effectively is to be the opposite of what you once were and wish to become, almost 100% of the time. It will behoove you to have many new romantic options so you don’t fall back into old fearful and un-resourceful patterns that cause you to revert to your previous bad behavior. The only thing you have control over in life is how you show up, not what the other person does.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne