How an average, overweight, out of shape nerd turned his life around and met and married his dream girl.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who has been following my work since 2012. He says he was the fat nerd who was boring in school and a loser with women, who women didn’t even like talking to! He met a guy who was really good with women and asked him for advice. This guy was an avid student of my work and coached him on what to do.
He lost seventy pounds, got in shape, started a successful company and then met his dream girl, a woman who had rejected him back when he was overweight. They are now married and living happily ever after. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This email’s a little bit longer than most emails that I go through, but there’s a lot of good little nuggets in here, because you figure this is like nine years in the making that this guy went through all of these changes. He’s become very successful, and it’s just a great success story on time and repetition. When you apply what’s in How To Be A 3% Man, when you apply what’s in Mastering Yourself, my second book, you can also read them for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com.
And obviously, it all ties together in my new book, Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations, which is now available in paperback, hardcover and Audible. So, you’re welcome to go get those and write a great review. Obviously, those are always appreciated.
How are you? My name is Bob, and I am writing you a success story. Back in 2012, I was the fat nerd who was boring in school and I was basically a loser who women even hated to talk to!
The only good point was that I wasn’t the white knight beta male, but that was because I was afraid of even talking to them. The only time I felt good about myself was when we did projects. Since I was the best at these things, all of my group members used to submit to me, men and women equally.
So obviously, he was a pretty smart guy, so everybody relied on him to help them with their projects. But other than that, when it was time to hang out and do fun things after school, he didn’t get invited.
There was a girl that showed me nothing but a big smile on her face whenever she saw me. She would laugh at my jokes, she basically made me feel loved, and the stupid loser me friend-zoned himself, even though I had a chance.
Well, like I talk about in “How To Be A 3% Man,” every guy gets a chance. For whatever reason, there are some girls you’re just going to do it for. And the key is not to talk those that really like you out of liking you when they’re predisposed to liking you.
Anyway, we became friends, shared everything, and a few months later she invited me to go on a date. That was what I thought, but it wasn’t. I was simply her girlfriend, so it was a girl’s day, ha-ha. Anyway, after the date we decided to ride the subways. We laughed and talked about life. After that, there was this second that I thought we were having a moment, and out of nowhere I just went for the kiss. And guess what? I was badly rejected. She even got off at the next station.
Ouch. Crash and burn. She hopped off the train, never to be seen again until a few years later.
That’s when I decided to change my life. I went to a guy who was kind of a friend of mine. He was a super alpha. Every single girl he has slept with is more beautiful than the other. After some negotiations, he agreed he would help me, but only if I help him in school, and I agreed since I was that kid who always got the perfect score.
So obviously a pretty smart guy, but he didn’t optimize his body or his life. That is to come next.
He told me to first have no contact, not with even a single woman. He told me, if I don’t do anything about this disgusting look of mine, I wouldn’t even dream of getting a single woman. And I did as he said.
So, he was brutally honest with them. And that’s what you need instead of, “Oh, it’ll be fine. You’ll find the right girl, and she’ll like that you’re just big and super sized.” I mean, what’s interesting is I just saw a stat recently, like 74% of Americans are overweight or obese. I mean, that’s an insane stat. So, if you just work out and you take care of yourself, right away, you’ve dramatically, completely set yourself apart from most of the other guys that you’re going to be worried about, in essence, competing for women over.
So, this is something that you have control over. You have control over how you look and how you take care of your body, so you might as well optimize yourself. I mean, I’ll be honest, at fifty-one years old, it feels pretty damn good when you notice you’re getting checked out by 19, 20, 21, 22 year old women. It’s like, I’ve still got it. It’s a pretty nice feeling.
But here’s the flip side of that. I noticed also, if I stop working out, I don’t work out for a month or so, it’s like I almost become invisible. I don’t get those looks anymore. But being in shape, being fit, your clothes fitting tight, women can tell that you work out. Quite frankly, when you look at the numbers, if 74% are overweight or obese, right away you’ve already put yourself in the top 25% there alone. I mean, it’s an easy thing to do to help yourself, to give yourself an advantage, because average, mediocre people just won’t do it. They won’t care.
Three years later, I got a lot thinner. I lost 70 pounds and even grew some muscles, and it was hella difficult. I worked very hard on myself, and he was helping me through all this time, pushing me every single day. Not only that, but I also started to work on my professional life as well as my social life. I started to work at a convenience store, and he told me to interact with every single person, so that I can reduce the fear of women. And I don’t know why he helped all this time. He must’ve wanted to see me get better.
Obviously he was a good friend and a good dude.
After I became a healthy person, he introduced me to your work.
Interesting. He didn’t tell you anything until you got your yourself in shape. So, it’s like he gave you the opportunity to show up and show out, to show what you’re capable of — once you proved yourself that you were actually disciplined and you’d be a good student and not waste his time. Because he’s probably had lots of other friends he’s had these conversations with, and they don’t do anything. And so, who wants to waste their time with somebody that’s going to half-ass it.
I read the book few times, and he told me to read it 15 times. And I did, but I wasn’t confident yet, so I read it more 15 times before I spoke to a woman romantically. And while I was reading the book, a business idea grew in my mind. That was an audit firm. I always have been good at numbers and I like accounting as well, so he and I, we opened an audit firm along with two other friends of ours.
A business opportunity. See what happens when people come together and their goals and values are aligned and they make the effort. Obviously, he saw something in this guy, that he was committed. And eventually, they became business partners.
One day, we were auditing a company and after we finished, we were invited to dinner. This was after our company had become popular, and at the dinner there was a woman who worked for that company. She looked very hot. My beloved friend was sitting next to her, and the moment he saw me looking at them, he just winked at me and gave me his seat.
Dude, good wingman. These are the kinds of guys you need to surround yourself with.
At that moment, I’d read the book and memorized it, but I am with no experience. But thanks to the upgrading of my social life, I had no problem.
I went to her with this masculine aura that she would later tell me that I had and said, “Hi.” She asked me, why did I change seats with my friend? I said, “To observe you,” and added, “My name is Bob. What’s your name?” She said, “I am Jessica. We talked for a bit, then I said, “Well Jessica, this hot guy here wants to know you more, so what do you think if we go to a place that’s more quiet?” She said, “No! Why would I go with you?” So, I said, “Well, no worries. I wanted to have a good time. Contact me if you change your mind,” and gave her my card. By the way, I was the CEO of our company, and that left some impression on her.
So, he extended an invitation. She’s like, “No, I’m not leaving to go anywhere.” It’s like, “Hey, here’s my card.”
I told my friend what happened. He said that either she is in a relationship or she is crazy if she did not want me.
Okay, so I assume she was giving him the “fuck me” eyes and he goes and talks to her, and she’s like, “No.”
Two weeks later she called me. I recognized her in a second when she talked, but I didn’t let her know. She said, “Hi, I am Jessica from that company.” So, I said, “The hot brunette?” She laughed so hard and said, “Yeah, the hot brunette.” We talked for 5 minutes, then I said, “I am busy right now. Let’s go on a date, when are you free?” She said, “Yeah, of course,” and we set a definite date.
See, all of this comes from time and repetition, so you can imagine all the work. That must have been a year or two that it took to get himself in shape and read the book, working in customer service jobs. So, a lot’s changed in his personality that he’s been developing. And so, he meets a girl and can tell she likes him, he knows what to do. He goes for it right away, no hesitation, even though at least the first one didn’t really go anywhere.
I went on the date and everything went well. A few weeks, and she was my girlfriend. She did 90% of texting and calling. But due to my lack of experience and since she was a very hot woman, I kind of tried to lock her down and it didn’t end well, so she dumped me. I realized my mistake and learned the lesson. I practiced with a lot of women over the course of five years and grew more, in both relationship matters and in my career as well. My company grew, and I became a very busy man, exactly like the one you say in your book every man should be.
Yeah, he’s not faking it. It’s like, when you do a great job and you’re exceptional at it, people notice that. And when you’re exceptional at something, you stand out from everybody else. Just like, I mean, 74% of people are obese and overweight, and all you have to do is work out, and you’ve just completely eliminated 75% of your competition, if you will. You’re going to look better than them. That’s a pretty easy thing to do.
Last year, I was invited to the school reunion. I never went to that reunion before, so people didn’t even recognize me. And guess what? I saw the same fucking girl that we rode the train together who rejected me when I went for the kiss.
So, I assume he never saw her again after that.
She recognized me and came to me. We talked for few minutes about the past, then she said, “You changed…a lot!” I said and quoted a very cheesy line from one of the movies that I have watched. I said, “I was just putting an act on. Don’t I deserve an Oscar for that act?” She laughed. I said “No worries. I would take it as a compliment. So, let’s leave this boring place and get out,” and I took her hand. She came with me with no resistance.
Isn’t that interesting?
We went to a bowling alley that was nearby. I was just having fun and she turned out to be a very fun person and easy to get together. We teamed up against another couple. I was very good at this game, since it was my side hobby. Whenever she scored I would praise her, and she would grin like a little puppy. We won, ha-ha. After the game, I took her with me, and we ate dinner. After that, I took her to a karaoke. We sang, had fun and guess what? She started touching me and she even went for the kiss.
It’s really a rough life when that happens.
I didn’t think she was that bold. We actually kissed a very long one. I was at my limit, so I took her hand and said, “Come with me.” She was like, “Where?” I said, “It’s a secret,” and she came with me willingly. All the way, inside the car she was touching me. Whenever the car stopped, she would kiss me. Anyway, we went to a nice villa that I had. Sorry, I didn’t mention that I am wealthy as fuck, ha-ha.
Cheers to you dude. Congratulations on all your success. But the story doesn’t end there.
We went in and had a very nice evening. We even had sex on that very night. I left in the early morning. She said she had that day off, so she left later.
She called me in the morning, but I was in a meeting, so I didn’t pick up. She just left a message saying that she loved last night and would like to see me soon. At night, I replied with, “I loved last night too. I would love to spend time with you too.” I did not set a date at all. She called me 2 days later and we talked a bit.
See, he’s taking his time, he’s in no rush. Even though she reached out to him, he waited a few days to bring up another date. Anticipation.
Then, before I said anything, she invited me on a date. I said, “I would love to see you too,” and we set another date, but this time I invited her over and she loved it. Things led to each other and a year later we got married. And now I am having the best life, a life that I never dreamt of. Thank you, sir for everything.
Well, thanks for that really nice, long success story. It was nine years in the making… nine years. Welcome to the 3% Club.
Obviously, for those of you that haven’t read “How To Be A 3% Man” or “Mastering Yourself,” you can read them at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletter. And obviously “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations.” The paperback, hardcover and the audio version you can get on Amazon.com right now, today.
And if you would like to book a coaching session, maybe you’ve got a personal or professional challenge that you need help with, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“People who love and value themselves, and who expect to succeed at the highest levels in life, take exceptional care of their bodies, their friends, families and are obsessed with becoming all that they can be. For a self-actualizing person, becoming what they can be is a must. They simply will not settle for mediocrity in any area of their lives that’s important to them. When they encounter challenges and failure, they look for alternative ways and methods to change their approach so they can find a way to eventually make their grandest goals and dreams a reality. Success is not a matter of hope to them, it is simply a matter of time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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