Pain Is Our Greatest Teacher

Why pain is our greatest teacher and modifier of bad behavior.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who used what he learned from 3% Man, to manipulate, lie to and cheat on his girlfriend with multiple women. In May of last year she went though his apple watch and discovered the double life he’d been living and discovered all of his lying and cheating. She dumped him and moved on. He shares what he learned and has resolved to never do this in the future. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Pain Is Our Greatest Teacher”.

So this particular email is from a guy who basically admits he used what he learned in 3% Man for things that were less than honorable. So he did really well. He said he’s been following me since 2018, and a few years ago he got into a relationship with a really great girl, but because he was doing so well with the ladies, even though he committed to her.

He basically kept hooking up with other girls. And so around May of last year, about a year ago, she happened to be going through his Apple Watch and discovered what a shitbird he’d been. And the fact that he was lying to her face and cheating on her and hooking up with all kinds of random women, she didn’t appreciate that too much. And they broke up.

It looks like he may have tried to get her back, but she seemed to be smart enough to be like, “Yeah, once a cheater, always a cheater. I’m out of here.” And so now, obviously, he’s experienced the pain of getting rejected. And he says he’s resolved to never be this way again, or to misuse what he has learned from me. Because the idea is you’re supposed to be a good, honorable man if you’re going to use this stuff.

I mean, it’s the cheat codes to life and to women 3% Man cheat codes to ladies and Mastering Yourself the cheat codes to life. So you’re not supposed to use that to manipulate people. Because at the end of the day, we deal with the laws of karma and what you do onto other people you do unto yourself. If you cause pain to other people, you’re going to experience pain ten times is worse.

It’s just better to go through the world and go through life and so good things because you reap what you sow. But he says he’s learned his lesson. But the reality is character is destiny. And that and he also grew up, was raised by a single mom. His dad wasn’t around. And so he became too much of a nice guy and then he went the other way and became a really naughty Chad Thunder Cock, basically.

Viewer Email:

Good afternoon, Coach,

It’s a pleasure to reach out to you. I wanted to thank you for all the work you’ve done through your books. I’ve read 3% Man over 15 times and listen to it every six months to keep it fresh. It has given me a whole new perspective on both my dating life and my personal life. Growing up, I was raised mostly by my mom since my dad migrated to the U.S. She was very controlling and emotional, and I became a “nice guy” because I believed that was the only way to win a woman’s heart.

Well, this is typically what happens. Guys that are raised by single moms just tend to be too nice, and they get walked all over by women. Because dad’s not around to teach them how savage the world really is.

I believe by being nice to my mom I wouldn’t get in trouble so I took that into my adult relationships. In high school, I never had a hard time getting girls. I even got to the point of dating one of my teachers during and after high school, however I had no clue on what I was doing.

You know, it’s like I see these stories on Twitter all the time. It’s always women. Very rarely is it a dude hooking up with his students, always some chick. And oftentimes they’re married. Some of them are really hot, and yet they’re screwing 15 and 16 year old dudes. And it’s pretty crazy, pretty crazy out there.

But I mean, the reality is, I mean, I bet I remember back when I was in middle school, anytime there was a cute teacher, all of us were sitting around talking about what she looks like naked and how great it would be to sleep with her like, we’re in fucking middle school.

What the hell do we know about women? But at the end of the day, we still like the ladies, even back then, obviously. I mean, I knew I liked girls when I was in the second grade. That’s when I started getting my first crushes. So it’s something that is innate. The question is obviously, because at the end of the day, if one of my friends when we’re in middle school is hooking up with a teacher, we’ll be high fiving each other like, dude, that’s awesome. She’s so hot.

But obviously the world frowns upon that. But anyways, this dude was hooking up with his high school teacher during and after. So I assume he was probably underage. So this is pretty common. Well, I should say it was always going on, but we just never really, occasionally you’d hear about it. But with social media, it’s like stuff spreads like wildfire. It’s shocking how much it goes on.

And you could tell how the women are just totally driven by their emotions because they’re gushing, you know, 30 year old woman who’s hot, but she’s gushing over a 14, 15 year old guy in one of her classes. It’s like, jeez. Meanwhile, she’s married and cheating on her husband and has kids with him and the whole nine yards. Women are going to be mostly driven by what they feel. That’s why they don’t care about what a great dude you are, or how nice you are, or successful or handsome, or how much money you have. They care about how you make them feel.

I discovered your work in 2018 after meeting a girl who completely knocked my socks off. However, I was too afraid to be direct with her, so I took the nice guy route. Later, I found out she was pregnant by someone else.

That’s usually how it works. She sleeps with the guy that turns her on, the guy that’s kind of a jerk. And then the nice guy gets to be Harry Honda and do favors for her and get blue balls.

In 2022, I met who I believed was the love of my life. From the moment I saw her, she took my breath away. We met at a country music club, and I confidently asked her to dance. We talked, connected, and even made out that same night—the attraction was strong. I met her on a Saturday and called her on Thursday to set up a date for the following Tuesday. We went out and hooked up that same night. I was on cloud nine—I really liked her. We dated for three years. However, because I was having so much success with women, I continued engaging with others while in the relationship.

Dude, you got to keep your commitments.

I treated it like it was all fun and games—until May of last year, when she went through my Apple Watch and discovered I had been talking to other women. I take full responsibility for that mistake.

Well, it wasn’t a mistake. It was a series of mistakes that you were basically doing on purpose.

The breakup was very difficult. I felt ashamed and guilty. I ended up losing someone I truly loved because of my actions. However, through your work and videos, I learned to forgive myself and develop compassion—for myself and for others who make mistakes. We went into no contact. Although we spoke at times, I know I broke her trust, and I genuinely wish her the best. This experience has made me much more mindful of other people’s feelings.

Well, at the end of the day, what you do unto others, you do unto yourself.

I now truly believe that pain is one of life’s greatest teachers.

Yep, it’s life’s change agent as well. It’s life’s way of saying what you’re doing is wrong, or at the very least, suboptimal.

However I made a choice not to live my life making myself feel terrible about mistakes I made. All I can do is become a better human and don’t make those mistakes again.

Well, I wouldn’t look at it as a mistake. It was a conscious choice. You knew what you were doing was wrong, but you did it anyways because you were misusing the cheat codes that you learned from yours truly. Which is disappointing.

I am dating different women now, but I know that if I enter another committed relationship, I will never repeat those mistakes.

Well, your actions are the only thing that matters. That’s what every liar and cheater says. This time will be different. At the end of the day, it’s just about keeping your commitment. If you don’t want that kind of a commitment, don’t make it. You shouldn’t give those commitments lightly.

The pain I went through is something I never want to experience again. I’ve also become more intentional about how I apply what I’ve learned from your work, because I understand the impact it can have on others. Since the breakup, I’ve started new businesses and moved into a new apartment in a great area. I still miss her—it hasn’t been easy—but I know that with time and growth, I will meet the right person again.

Well, there really is another bus every 15 minutes. There’s always another cute girl that’s going to come along.

I truly believe everything happened to teach me to value people and not take them for granted. I wish her nothing but the best and hope she is happy. Thank you, Coach, and I apologize for previously using what I learned from you in the wrong way and hurting others.

That was wrong, and I’m committed to becoming a man of honor and integrity—that’s the legacy I want to leave for my two kids. I’m 30 years old, have built multiple successful businesses, and most importantly, I’ve had a great teacher in you. Life definitely catches up to you when you don’t do the right thing.

Well, you can’t outrun karma. It always is going to catch up. Just like it’s catching up with Barack Obama and John Brennan and Director Comey. Their day is coming. And hopefully that evil bastard little elf Fauci.

By the way I’m going to a wedding this weekend and she might be there. I’m going with an open mindset understanding she might be there with someone else. it will hurt but I just want her to be happy. and I’m going to have fun lol.

Well, at the end of the day, if she comes over to you and was like, “Hey you.” I was like, “Let’s dance!” Invite her to dance if she wants. If she likes you and she misses you and the feelings are still there, she’s going to come up with a reason to come talk to you or stand next to you, or be in your orbit. If you see her smile, wave and then go about your business.

She’ll find her way over to you. “Hey, you. You look amazing. How’ve you been? You’ve been thinking about me at all. You missing me? I missed you. I love seeing you again. You look great. It’s nice to hear the sound of your sweet voice. And by the way, you smell like candy or whatever.”

Whatever she smells like. “You smell delightful.” Let’s hang out, have fun, hook up. Weddings are great because everybody’s like, “Oh, it’s so great.” Everybody’s in love. It’s so wonderful. So there’s a chance if she’s single still, that something could happen, but you should not get back together with her and you definitely shouldn’t hook up with her if you wouldn’t get back into a relationship if you could.

You’ve got to keep your commitment. And if you can’t make that kind of commitment, don’t make it. What does the late, great Steve McQueen say? My favorite quote is “I live for myself and I answer to nobody.” So it doesn’t mean to be a dickhead about everything. It just means I’m going to do what I want, when I want, with who I want. So don’t make commitments you don’t have any intention of honoring. It’s pretty simple.

For anyone learning from your work, I would say: be mindful of how you use it. Don’t break people’s hearts—because eventually, you’ll break your own.

Best regards,

Bob

Yep. You couldn’t outrun karma, and now you’re licking your wounds. But it’s quite possible this wedding, something wonderful happens between you and your ex. Or she just might be nice and friendly to you, but she’s truly over it because you just lied and cheated so many times.

And who knows, maybe you meet your future ex-girlfriend there. You just never know. So have an open mind. Remember, hang out, have fun, hook up. Your job as a man and the courtship simply is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun, hook up.

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