Pickup: The Non-Approach Approach

How to create the right vibe and conditions to influence beautiful women around you to approach you first in order to get their phone numbers, contact information or make a date on the spot, instead of you having to make the effort to pursue and pick them up.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is relatively new to my work. He says he’s read my book twice so far, and he wanted to test out what I teach to see how women would react to him. He went to a friend’s birthday party at a bar, and instead of approaching women he was interested in, he hung back, exhibited the proper body language, and simply focused on enjoying himself. He behaved completely opposite to the way most guys were acting at the party who were trying to pursue and pick up women.

He shares two success stories of how he was able to cause two different women to reveal their interest to him and approach him first in hopes that his interest was mutual, and therefore he would ask them out. This is a great email example for guys who are really shy and terrified of approaching women, on how they can take the lazy man’s way of causing women to approach them and pick them up. When a woman is approaching you and expressing her interest either overtly or covertly, you no longer have to fear or worry about rejection. This is another example of a guy successfully using what I teach in my article, “How To Get Women To Approach You First.”

Dear Corey Wayne,

I just wanted to say, thank you so much for the amazing effort you’ve put so far into the videos you make and the book you wrote. I’ve read the book twice so far, and I wanted to test it out. I was invited to a friend’s birthday in a bar, and I ended hooking up with two girls that night. The first one was wearing a t-shirt that had this fandom I liked, so when she came and sat down, I asked her directly, “Isn’t that the show?” She said yes, we shook hands, we talked about it for fifteen minutes, and everyone around us looked at us like we are some sort of aliens. (He’s using her t-shirt to start up a conversation about a mutual interest.) At the end, she added me on Facebook. (There was no pursuing at all. She put herself into his orbit to make it easy for something to happen. I discuss this in my article, “Attracting Beautiful Women Easily…How To Create The Ultimate Online Dating Profile.” Instead of chasing and pursuing, just enjoy life, and you will meet women as a side effect of being awesome.)

As for the other girl, I noticed she had a high level of interest since I had walked in, but I didn’t do anything. I just sat back and waited for the right moment. My friend who had the birthday kept walking by me every once in a while to ask me to dance, and I would refuse saying that I don’t know how to. The last time he went to her to ask her to dance, I noticed she talked about me saying that he kept asking her to dance, but I wouldn’t dance either, and she looked right at me and stuck her tongue out. (He was having a good time and she noticed him, so she stuck her tongue out to try and get his attention.) I smiled, looked back at her, and stuck my tongue out. I told her, “I don’t know how to dance.” She said, “Neither can I,” so I said, “Well, can you teach me?” Then we walked on stage and started dancing and joking for five minutes. I asked her for her name, and she said it, so I said, nice to meet you and paused. She immediately asked for mine. (If you put out a vibe of abundance and you’re a selective guy, you will have choices.) We danced and joked for a couple more minutes and sat back down. We kept glancing and smiling, and she laughed. As I was leaving, I said bye to my friend and made sure she saw me leave, then reached to her from her back. She turned and walked all the way around to me. I knew the interest level was high, but for some reason I hesitated to get her contact information. (You fell down at the end there, but she made it pretty obvious and pretty easy for you.) I said nice to meet you, and see you soon, and I left. I know I wasted an opportunity, but now I know I could do it again in the future, as back then, I couldn’t even get to this stage so quickly. (If you’re really shy and worrying about approaching women, you can hang back and focus on these types of body language, and other people will make it easy for you.) I’m sure she’ll probably add me through common friends as I commented on a post by one.

So again, I just wanted to say thank you for the great effort you’ve put into your work. You are the man. (This is a great first step for you. You were able to make a couple of subtle changes on how you were showing up and interacting with women, and in one evening you got the attention of two women. There’s no need to chase and risk being rejected, when you can just hang back and be awesome.)

Bob

“It is a man’s job to be direct, decisive and take advantage of the opportunities that the universe brings to him when he encounters women he finds attractive, by either getting contact information or making a date on the spot. Most women are not going to ask a man out for a date when they find him attractive, because that is the man’s job in the social interaction. However, most women will put themselves into a man’s orbit to get his attention when they find him attractive by approaching him, asking for his advice or opinion, standing near him, asking other people about him, making eye contact while they smile, playing with their hair, or physically touching him. Guys who are shy and terrified of rejection should take the lazy man’s way of picking up women by focusing on having a good time, taking up too much space, exhibiting alpha male body language, smiling, laughing, and being 100% present with people they are engaged in conversation with. If they do, this will cause them to appear approachable, comfortable with themselves, happy, successful, content, safe, fun, likeable, desirable, and like a man who is already very successful with women and who has lots of choices with them. Men who are successful in life and with women, always get approached by women due to their non-hungry and abundant state of being.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne