What to look for and how to prequalify potential lovers to weed out the toxic, drama-filled, structured, inflexible, insecure and poor communicators so you can attract a high quality lover who shares similar goals and values.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how my work has changed his life over the past year and half. He says before my work he used other systems in the past that brought results, but he says he was still too aggressive and a sore loser when things didn’t go his way. He’s worked in sales for a long time, has a lot of confidence on the phone, takes great care of his body, but always had a hard time translating his success in business over into his face to face interactions in his personal life. He talks about how he is now smooth, indifferent and no longer takes things personally.
He also shares how he recently used the principles he learned from me to disqualify a structured, controlling woman from his personal life. She was always too stiff, believed that the guy should do all of the calling, and that things needed to be a certain way. Now that he has blown her off, she’s calling one of his friends and discussing how mad she is that he’s not contacting her anymore. He says, had it not been for what he learned from my work, he would have wasted a lot of unnecessary time that simply would have gotten in the way of him enjoying the process of dating, keeping his options open, and finding someone who doesn’t hold back, is fun to be with and is worth his continued effort.
I wanted to drop you an email for the first time to thank you for the work you do. It has really changed my life. I’ve been following you for a year and a half, and I’ve read the book eight times. I’ve used other systems in the past, which brought me results, but I was still too aggressive and a sore loser when things didn’t go my way. (All you were doing was expressing weakness. You allowed rejection to diminish you.) I am a good-looking guy, go to the gym four times a week, and I also train in boxing. I’ve worked in sales for a long time. People have told me I have lots of confidence on the phone, but I was still having a hard time carrying that over to my face-to-face interactions. Since getting into your work, it has really allowed me to become smooth, indifferent, and to take each interaction as an experience not to take too personally. In the past I was egotistical, and when a woman would react in a way I didn’t like, I would actually throw insults and put them down. (That made you look like a pathetic, weak bitch.) Now, I absolutely look down on that kind of behavior, and I encourage my friends to do the same.
I was seeing a woman three months ago, and we went on a total of six dates. She was beautiful, intelligent and into fitness like myself. (Like attracts like. People who like the same things tend to like each other.) The major problem was, she was totally structured. At the end of dates, we would hook up, but during dates, she’d be so stiff. (A structured woman is holding back. She’s got rules and is not acting naturally because she was told this is the way she needs to be.) She had these rules about calling a guy, and believed he was supposed to do the chasing. (The feminists taught her not to give her power away to a man.) She would even try to punish me for not responding to a message in the time she wanted. Now, she is sending messages to a mutual friend of mine saying she’s mad at me for going no contact. I imagine she probably said lots of nasty things about me as well. (Who cares? No one will ever do or say anything that is not a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. She is just projecting the self loathing onto you in order to make herself feel better. She is following all of these rules that are not natural, and it is causing her pain.) Anyway, the great thing about your book is it allows you to see people for who they really are, and makes it easy to weed out toxic people from your life and surround yourself only with folks with a similar outlook. I think, had I not gotten your book, I would’ve wasted more time and effort, when I could’ve been seeing someone that is not holding back and is fun to be with. Right now, I am enjoying the process of dating and keeping my options open until I find someone who is worth my continued effort.
Thanks again for opening up my eyes, and keep up the great work!!! (He’s acting like a guy who has lots of choices and lots of options instead of putting up with this woman’s behavior. He has an abundance mindset now and is not going to wait around.)
“People put more thought and research into buying a car than they do into the people they date and have relationships with. Most of your happiness or your misery is going to come from the people you date and spend your time with. Everyone should have a list of standards and character traits that are minimally acceptable to them in order to properly prequalify who deserves, and does not deserve to be in their lives. This will ensure that you only attract and keep people in your life who offer exactly what you are looking for so you can fall in love with who they really are, instead of erroneously falling in love with their potential.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne