Presupposing That Failure Is Inevitable

Feb 3, 2014 by Coach Corey Wayne

124820853How to take control of your mental focus so you don’t fall into the trap of presupposing that failure is inevitable; thereby, putting you into a fearful state that subconsciously causes you to sabotage your own success without realizing it. Avoiding the mindset that most beta male men have that they won’t get the women they really want, so you can succeed and get the woman you really deserve.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss four different emails from four different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who ignored the signs of a woman with low interest. Despite the pecks on the cheek instead of passionate kissing, and her continually using the “friends only” reference, he proceeded to over-pursue and blow up her phone. He then tells her he is OK with friends only when she says that’s all she wants from him. After about a month of pretending to be her gal-pal he told her he was not interested in anything platonic, and to call him if she changed her mind. It’s been a month and he has heard nothing from her. Now he thinks calling her again will change her feelings even though excessive contact and acting needy got him friend-zoned in the first place. I tell him what he needs to do to have any chance.

The second email is from a viewer who I have been coaching for about a year. He does fantastic with new women. However, he has an ex that has been in and out of the picture for the past year who is like kryptonite to him. It’s almost impossible for him to stand up to her and what he wants. He spent the evening with her recently, lots of heavy making out and petting, but got no sex. He’s staying with her for a few days in Europe in the near future, but she will be on her period. He wonders if it’s a lost cause, and what his best possible chances for success are to seduce her again, after not sleeping with her for a year.

The third email is from a viewer who asked a woman out at her work. After she evaded the question and tried to let him down easily because she is not interested, he kept talking. He gives a long drawn out scenario of what he will do to ask her out again the next time he sees her. Since he only sees his own interest and ignores the fact it is not reciprocated by her, he has not realized or admitted to himself yet that he’s wasting his time. It’s a good lesson on when to walk away and admit you ain’t got a chance so you can move onto the next candidate. The fourth email is from a viewer who has allowed his fear of rejection and feelings of unworthiness to sabotage his budding relationship. He literally presupposed that getting dumped was inevitable to the point that he talked to her son about it and referred to her and him being in past tense. He has not heard from her as she ignored his last messages, and he wonders what to do now.

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“Fear of failure and fear of undesirable consequences is the wrong thing to be mentally focusing on in life if you want to be successful. Being in a fearful state and taking actions while in a fearful state tend to bring about circumstances in your life that you are trying to avoid, not ones that you want. You must focus on and presuppose that you will be successful in life. Ask yourself, “What if things were going to work out for me, how would I think or do things differently?” Your focus, efforts and actions must be aligned with positive expectations, thoughts and beliefs that you will be successful. In race car school they teach you to look where you want to go. That way, you’ll steer the car in the desired direction. Drivers who crash into the wall do so because that is where they look. They literally steer right into the wall because their fear has them focused on what they want to avoid. That’s something to think about.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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Published on February 3, 2014

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Comments

  1. Corey, I am the guy from the forth email. Just want to give you a follow up. Before I got your response I had made a comment on her Facebook post about landing the job she had desperately wanted. She talked to me about it a lot. My comment was “Congratulations. I know how much you wanted that job. Your hard work has paid off.” She replied thank you and mentioned my name so It was tagged. At the time I was thinking it was just the classy thing to do. Now after getting further into your book I think this might have been a mistake. I’ve maintained no contact and have not heard from her. Its been a week now since my wuss move of IM her son and last text to her. My biggest obstacle is being indifferent and severing that attachment I formed. I have made it my goal to make your techniques my standard operating procedure from now on. I never have this issue with women I am mildly interested in just ones I find extremely physically attractive. I’m not going to wait around for her at all but I figure if I don’t hear anything out of her by Valentine’s day I’m not even a thought in her mind anymore. I definitely see where my fear and coming from a point of weakness I screwed myself. I was doing great the first 3 weeks text book… but after that I started to push.. I screwed the pooch. Trying not to be too hard on myself. If she had strong enough attraction for me she would contact me. I am curious as to your opinion I really liked her church if I don’t hear from her within the next 2-3 weeks would it be OK to still attend. Chances are I will run into her. Or find a new church and go away completely? Thank you for your work. I’ve made it my personal mission to make sure I never repeat these actions again with a woman.

    • I will also ad I am an idiot. Those posts were not removed from her Facebook. Most are still there… yep definitely f%$ked up. SMH.. there was absolutely no reason for me to have created this drama.

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