Do you know what the purpose of all relationships is? Well if you’ve read my first book, “How To Be A 3% Man” (a dating and relationship book for men) you would know from it that the purpose of all relationships is to give. You are in all your relationships, friendships, business partnerships, employee/employer relationships, etc. to give. You give them various things, such as your services, talents, time, advice, affection, love, etc. based on type of relationship it is in return for… money, affection, sense of accomplishment, etc. or because you are simply a giver, (love givers!)
If you would like to improve the quality of your relationships, you should start asking some quality questions of the people you are in them with. What do I mean? The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions that you consistently ask yourself and other people as well.
Have you ever asked a lover as you were about to have sex for the first time… “what do you like?” Think about it. Its an obvious question, but how many of us actually take the time to ask the other person what they like sexually? Give them what they want and vice versa, and we will all be happier. Right?
When I talk to clients both men and women, many who have been together for decades will have never asked this question of their lover. Most people have too many sexual hangups, insecurities and are afraid to ask the other person to do they things they like to them. If you love somebody you want to make them happy. Ask a powerful question and get exactly the response you like. What a novel idea!
Another great thing you can do with all your relationships is to ask them to rate you. “Rate me baby!” to your lover 🙂 What do I mean? Ask them… “on a scale of one to ten, how was I as a boyfriend/wife/girlfriend/employee/employer/business partner/husband/lover/etc. this past week? Let them answer. Encourage them to be honest. Most importantly, don’t get all “butt hurt” if they give you a low score. Just look at it as an opportunity to get better and improve your relationship. Plus, when you give to a giver the giver will give back. When you give to a take the taker… will… well… they just SUCK!!! LOL.
Then repeat some of it back, and tell them you will do what it takes to be a ten during the coming week. And one more thing if you’re a guy. Don’t start rationalizing about and trying to justify to her all the things you have done in the past for her that should have justified being graded a ten by her. Women only care about what you are doing right now to love and support them. Yesterday, last week, ten years ago, five minutes ago do not matter. Right now is a new moment and they expect you to continually show up and show your love for them. They want you to be present with them. It’s not what have you done for me lately? Its what are you doing right now? Are you being loving and sweet to me? That’s what she is looking for. Ask yourself “why not?” if you aren’t.
Ask better quality questions of yourself and others, and you will skyrocket the quality of ALL your relationships. Try it out and let me know what happens 🙂
“Make yourself necessary to somebody.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur