In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares his personal success story of how he was able to turn his life around after getting dumped by his ex, applying what my book teaches and realizing his own self-worth. He says he is on the eighth reading of my book, and the results have been dramatic. He talks about how he has become fearless and no longer too fearful to go for the women and things he wants in life.
Some of his friends think he is having a mid-life crisis, but he is now focused on doing things he wants to do and no longer influenced by their unreasonable expectations of him. It’s a great example of how your current peer group may react to you once you start to pull away, become more successful than them and become all that you can be. He shares how he is living his life to the fullest and no longer cares what anyone thinks about him. He lives to make himself happy. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I was just reaching out to you to let you know how much your work has had a positive impact on my life. I promise to keep this short.
For the longest time, I equated my self worth to a woman, and when she left me, it destroyed my world. (Yeah, because your whole identity becomes associated with being in a relationship with that person. When that person is no longer there, you don’t know who you are anymore. If you look to another person to be the source of your happiness, eventually you’ll realize, as awesome as they are, you’re still not happy.) I’m not going to say all the stupid things that I’ve done, because you’d be smacking your forehead more than Homer in a Simpsons marathon, but let’s just say my stalkerish actions mimicked someone you’d see in one of those ID Network shows.
I stumbled onto your work with the same thinking as most men in my situation have, “Maybe Corey can help me get my ex back.” (Well, you’ll either get her back or read my book 10-15 times and find someone way better.) As I watched the video, your words resonated with me, so I watched a few more and then bought your book. I’m on my 8th reading. I know I have a few more to go, but the results have been dramatic. The biggest change has been realizing my own self-worth. (If you don’t recognize your own self-worth, nobody else will either, and you’ll tend to associate yourself with people who will justify not having a high self-worth.) I saw that I was doing things to impress all the wrong people, so I made the conscious decision to live for myself. (Remember what Steve McQueen said: “I live for myself, and I answer to nobody.” You have to focus on making yourself happy first, because if you’re happy being single, when you get in a relationship with someone, it’s easy for you to share your completeness with that person. You don’t have to look to a woman for your happiness and become an energy vampire.) Although most people think it is a mid-life crisis, I am doing the things that I want so their opinion is irrelevant. I would be lying to say that I haven’t made mistakes, but these are trial and error situations, because I am still learning about myself. (Well, that’s how you get better. Nobody starts out as an expert at anything.) What I love the most is that I am no longer afraid to try. I have learned the difference between being afraid and the anxiety of trying something new, and I have embraced the adrenaline rush of living life to the fullest.
Something to note: Out of all the mistakes I’ve made, one of them was NOT pursuing my ex. I am proud to say, I have walked away and not looked back. (That’s hard for a lot of guys to do, but if they’re not treating you the way you want to be treated, your needs are never going to be met anyway. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.) Although she has reached out to me, I didn’t respond, because I realized she was using me, and if she wants to be in my life, it would be on my terms. (You’re negotiating from a position of strength.) I say this in all sincerity; you have saved my life, because you made me realize I had a life worth saving. Thank you for that.
Continued peace and blessings, and may God continue to smile on you and advance your work. (You focused on making yourself happy, because that is the starting point. The better you become and the more other people start to notice that, the better you feel about yourself and the more your confidence grows. The more your confidence grows, the more people start to notice you.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“People become more attractive when they smile, laugh or look with confidence into the eyes of someone they find attractive. The happier you are, the better care you will take of your body, the better the quality of food will you eat, the more you will exercise, the better you will sleep, the more successful you will become, the more personal and professional options you will have and the quicker you will achieve your grandest goals and dreams. When you focus on being awesome, becoming better and improving every area of your life that is important to you on a consistent basis, eventually you will realize your full potential. Become the kind of person a dream lover would want to have by becoming an increasingly better version of yourself over time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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