How to reclaim your masculinity and inner alpha male if you have had a recent breakup due to putting yourself and your needs last, being a people pleaser, letting other people walk all over you and living your life according to other peoples’ expectations, instead of your own.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who left his unhappy, loveless and mostly sexless marriage of nine years after he discovered his wife was lining up his replacement. He has read my book ten times over the past year and a half and become extremely successful with women. He is thirty-seven years old and in a relationship with a woman he later discovered was only nineteen years old.
He was dating three or four different women at the same time when he met his current girlfriend. He says in his marriage, he became a total beta male, people pleaser and always put his wife’s needs and demands above his own. He shares the story of his successful journey to reclaiming his masculinity, self-respect, self-love and becoming centered in his inner alpha male. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
You have helped change my life in many ways, and I am forever grateful for your work. (You’re welcome. It’s just simply my purpose.) Thanks! I have read your book at least 10 times and highlighted the good parts in different color highlighters to remember it all, I have read most of the books you recommend on your website over the last year and a half, I never miss your new newsletters, and I have listened to much of your newsletter history. (This is somebody who is a serious student and determined to figure out how to make it better.) I first saw your work about six months after I broke up with my kids’ mother. I decided enough was enough. (People won’t change their belief system until they realize it’s not working for them.) I needed to pull my head out of my ass and do something about how fucking shitty I felt. When my kids’ mother and I first met, I was a strong, alpha male just starting a new business and had a strong purpose. (That’s the embodiment of what masculine energy is. Women love guys who have ambition, goals and dreams, and are chasing after them in an unstoppable manner.) She was a very abusive woman. After about a year of being with her, being told I was no good, (If you’re with a woman, and she doesn’t support what you do, you’re with the wrong woman. The right woman will always build you up and be your biggest cheerleader, even when you’re not around), I had turned into the biggest beta male bitch around. Holy fuck, was I a bitch. It’s embarrassing when I think about it. I even went a whole year, two times without even a blowjob. (I see this so much with guys who have been in long term marriages.) I gave her all my extra money after I paid all of the bills and bought her anything she wanted, in fear she was going to leave me. (What you fear, you attract. What you look at disappears.) I never thought I would ever meet someone again, and I never wanted my family to split up. She knew that, so I did anything for her. (You negotiated like you were worthless. Therefore, your wife treated you that way.) I was with her for about 9 years. We have two awesome boys together, four and seven years old. (You’re a great father for the fact you got out of that shitty marriage, and you’ve gotten into a great relationship. Now your two boys can see a great, healthy example of what a man is supposed to be like, despite what your ex-wife does.) In the end of our relationship, I caught her shopping for my replacement. I decided that was enough, I found a new place and told her I was moving to a new house without her. We had half-parenting time each.
Within a few months of practicing the things you teach, I was back to being a strong alpha male again. I looked at the world in a whole new light, realized I was a prize and women had to earn my affection. (Will Smith said, “Before anyone else in the world believes it, you have to believe it.” No one will ever say or do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. You let her walk all over you, and you allowed her to get away with it.) I got rid of all the haters in my life and surrounded myself with positive, supportive friends. I was dating 3 or 4 women at a time. I am in a committed relationship with one of those women now, and she treats me like a king. She is always okay with me being the leader at all times. Every time she tests me, I pass with flying colors as a direct result of your help Coach. I first met her at the insurance office. I walked into the office, scanned the room for ladies, saw a very cute woman sitting there, walked over, sat by her, started a conversation, and immediately arranged a date in four days to pick her up on my motorcycle and go to a surprise location, because the ladies love a mystery. (You were ready, willing, able and open to meeting the next great love of your life. When you’re focusing on that and ready for your life to unfold, this is exactly what happens. You were totally focused, you had the right mindset, and you studied the fundamentals.) She is a university student in the city I live in and works two jobs. I never knew her age at first. Then one day, she was asked for an ID at a casino, and as it turns out, she was nineteen when we first met, and I was thirty-seven. (Women like a guy who acts like a a man. More than likely, she’s probably a lot more mature than other women her age, and that’s why she appreciates an older guy. Most of the guys her age probably act like little boys. Like attracts like, and from a soul perspective, we’re all the same age. We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.) Our age difference has never been an issue for her at all. She is a young, very beautiful, high quality woman that I only dreamed about being with at a very low point in my life. I won’t lie though. I still get confused with her behavior sometimes. It’s okay now though, because I can understand where she is coming from after I am able to open her up and work through her feelings, instead of being fearful and giving up. (You learned the book by reading it 10-15 times, and now you understand how to communicate with women effectively.) I also have my two boys full time now, and opened up a new business I am very excited about. (That’s awesome you have your boys full-time. You will be able to influence them more.)
As I am writing this, I can’t help but to feel emotional, and it feels fucking good. Thanks for all your help Coach. My life would be very different without your help. I hope you can share this in a newsletter sometime to give other men out there that felt like I did some hope things can get better if you do the work. (Confucius said, “Success depends upon prior preparation, and without said preparation, there is sure to be failure.” You succeeded, because you read the book 10-15 times.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Being a people pleaser, putting yourself and your needs last and being too timid and shy to stand up for yourself and what you want, invites unnecessary suffering, enables and encourages other people to take advantage of you, inhibits your success and leads to a life of quiet desperation. The right lovers and friends will be your biggest cheerleaders and will always have positive words of encouragement in your darkest hours of self-doubt. The wrong ones will make you doubt and question yourself and your dreams. Love is about giving, meeting each other’s needs, helping each other grow and become more, and reaching your full potential together. You must choose your peer group very carefully. Why? If you don’t, the wrong peer group will become the greatest obstacle to your success and happiness.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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