Romantic Attraction Is Created Between Highly Polarized Masculine & Feminine Energy

Why romantic attraction requires highly polarized masculine and feminine energy.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who asks about the nature of masculine and feminine energy and how several famous people in history that he mentions seem to have both intense masculine and feminine qualities. He has several questions about being strategic in your energies and how it relates to creating and maintaining romantic attraction. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “Romantic Attraction Is Created Between Highly Polarized Masculine & Feminine Energy.”

Well, this particular email is from a guy. I guess he started studying my work. And he sends in; he’s asking about the balance. Because he realizes now you got to be strategic in how you show up in your relationships to make sure you have the right polarity. And so, he brings up a lot of other very famous people, obviously, several of them. I believe most of you have heard of some of them, even I look at these names, I don’t know who the hell they are.

But he was saying that how these people had a, what he perceived as a balance, or they had both masculine and feminine type of energy. So he’s asking about the polarity. Because most, I’d say probably 99% of my phone sessions are with heterosexual guys. But I also have lesbian clients, I have gay clients, and I’ve got some trans clients. And in all relationships, doesn’t matter how/ what type of people you’re attracted to, you have to have strong sexual polarity.

In heterosexual relationships, the strongest attraction, the strongest romantic attraction, is where you’re going to have a highly polarized masculine man, and a highly polarized feminine woman. But the more they’re alike in their energies, the less the romantic attraction is. In other words, the less there are differences and the more similar they become, and the more similar they become, the more unattracted the woman becomes.

And the same thing happens in gay and lesbian relationships. If the masculine essence is acting too effeminate and girly, then the feminine essence that they’re attracted to becomes turned off, and what happens is the polarity becomes like platonic roommates. Where they literally completely lose interest in having sex or being intimate with one another. And over the years, I’ve done so many phone sessions where whether it’s a lesbian, or gay dude, or mostly obviously heterosexual people.

And most of my clients only have to do one phone session with, especially when this is the issue. Because once they recognize, because one of the first things I always ask, especially for the gay and lesbian crowd, is like, “What is your more dominant essence? Do you feel more masculine? Do you identify most of the time being more masculine or more feminine?”

And based on their answer, is the behaviors that I discuss with them that they need to exhibit in order to attract their mate, their husband, wife, whatever it happens, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever happens to be. And so, obviously heterosexual guys really struggle with this because when you look at what’s on TV and the movies, the whole archetype is being presented to us is, men acting like women, and women acting like men.

And so, whether you realize it or not, when you grow up and you spend many decades seeing that same archetype over and over and over. And plus, you have the emotional anchoring that happens in those movies and those TV shows where they use sound effects, they use music, and they use very highly, tensely emotionally charged scenes. When you watch it and you identify with those particular characters, whether you realize it or not, you’re being emotionally anchored to dysfunctional behavior.

And then when you go out in the real world and behave like you see in the movies, it repulses the person you’re trying to attract. And so, the first thing, obviously is awareness of it. What is highly polarized masculine energy? What is highly polarized feminine energy? So with that in mind, let’s go through his email.

Viewer’s Email:

Hello Corey,

So I would like to talk about a particular type of personality that has existed throughout time that is very strange, and I know that with a lot of your videos, you’re talking about how a man needs to be masculine, how to lead is to calming rain, and has a capability to calm that feminine energy that is chaotic and is considered unstable.

Well feminine energy is chaos. I mean, just look at Mother Nature. How often is the weather report actually turn out to be accurate or legit? Not very often. And getting upset about bad weather when it was forecasted to be a sunny day. It’s going to be a waste of your energy. It’s going to frustrate you and upset you.

And the only thing you really can do, is just accept it. Because love is allowing after all, right? And so, when you love Mother Nature, you see the storms, but you don’t become moved by it. You don’t become upset by it. You’re just calm. Masculinity is calm. Masculinity is like the mountain. And so, Mother Nature, the winds and the rains, they blow around the mountain.

Or maybe they go over the mountain. They don’t go through the mountain. They go around it. So as a man, or a masculine essence, you have to think of yourself as calm, cool, collected, peaceful, relaxed, because you’re going to do your best work when you’re in a peaceful and relaxed state.

And so, when you bring that calmness, that allows the chaotic woman to bring her emotions, and her feelings, and her mood swings. And she feels safe enough to express those. And if the guy or the masculine essence is not calm and he’s chaotic and upset and overly emotional, well then the feminine essence does not feel safe being feminine because there’s no masculine container to provide the safety. And so, therefore what happens?

The chaotic feminine gets even more chaotic. And what happens? The guy doesn’t know how to handle it, and it just spirals out of control like two emotionally irrational women in a relationship with one another. Even though they might be the opposite sexual polarity. When they act too similar, they’re literally going to repulse one another where they’re totally turned off.

But I have read some books that have talked about how both men and women have the ability to attract individuals because they do not simply exhibit characteristics that are solely masculine and feminine, but they’re able to utilize both the characteristics in a way where it’s not too feminine or not too masculine.

Well, men, we all have masculine and feminine energy. But what is the most dominant? And so, for guys, obviously if they’re attracted to feminine women, they need to be in their masculine if they want to keep the women attracted. But if you’re too soft and too girly. As a matter of fact, there’s a video I noticed on Twitter that’s starting to go viral this past week.

Where there’s this attractive, blonde, self-professed liberal woman, and she talks about how there’s two types of guys, and she’s really upset about it. You have the masculine, conservative type of guys, which she says are toxic, masculinity, misogynistic. And then you’ve got the feminist guys, the Democratic guys, but they’re so soft and girly that they’re unattractive.

And so, she’s attracted to the conservative guys. But, she idealizes or aligns with the effeminate guys that don’t turn her on. And so, that’s what you see. You have to have the balance. You’ve got to have the polarity. Because when people act too similar they lose attraction. Now feminine energy is also creative energy. So if you’re a painter you’re getting into your feminine energy.

You’re letting that creativity flow through you. You could be a masculine guy, if you ever saw back in the day, Norm Emmons is the New Yankee Workshop where he’s in his workshop. He’s always, you know, he’s got big, burly dude. He’s got a beard, he’s a carpenter. I mean, that’s feminine energy. What it takes to create those beautiful pieces that he makes by hand with all of the tools in his woodworking shop.

But at the end of the day, when you listen to him, he’s still a masculine guy. He’s still a dude. So when it comes to being creative and doing his gift, he’s able to move into his creativity, his feminine energy, without completely acting like an effeminate girl. So that’s the difference. It’s the same thing with like a musician, a musician who makes music. Which is interesting because there’s so many of the people that are musicians, obviously also tend to lean left.

I especially like, you know, Rage Against the Machine, which is, “I won’t do what you tell me.” But, you know, they’d be getting roasted last few years on Twitter because they’re exactly what they said they used to. They’re the opposite of what they said they stood for, when they were younger. Like when I, you know, I was in my early 20’s and those guys were, you know, blowing up and doing well.

And it’s so fascinating, because how they’re able to attract other individuals, and these are famous people like Friedrich Nietzsche, and they make them be what most of the people who are asking your help to be and that is failing to have control of themselves and an essence not becoming a 3% Man. But here are some prime examples: Elvis Presley.

Well, I mean, Elvis Presley. It’s like girls got weak in the knees over him. But when you looked at him, and watched him, especially when you watched stuff in the 50’s, even though it was new and taboo, he was acting very effeminate and girly when he was dancing on stage. And so, he could be very effeminate and play his music. But when he talked, he had a deep voice, he was incredibly handsome, and women just fell all over him.

John F. Kennedy.

I wouldn’t say John F. Kennedy was effeminate at all. He was more of like a man’s man. He wasn’t a loyal and faithful husband, that’s for sure. And there’s plenty of stories and testimony from people that he had girls coming over he was hooking up with in the white House, even though he was married, and he was president of the United States. Apparently, Marilyn Monroe was one of them.

Rodolpho Guglielmi.

I don’t know who that is.

Lou Andreas-Salomé.

I have no idea who that is.

These are the type of people who gave off masculine and feminine energies.

Well maybe you can say, John F. Kennedy’s speeches were very aspirational. That takes creative energy. But as a man, I mean, if you look at what he did, with staring down the Russians during the Cuban Missile Crisis. He had to give the perception that unless they removed these nuclear missiles that are only 80 miles away from the United States.

Our country was basically ready to engage in, in essence, Armageddon to have them removed. But they also gave the Soviets, they gave Khrushchev a way out that he could save face with the hardliners, so the world didn’t get destroyed. Because one of the people in the ambassador to Russia had literally lived with Khrushchev and his wife.

He and his wife had lived with Khrushchev and his wife on occasion when they were in Russia. And he knew him very well. And he also knew Khrushchev was surrounded by some moderates. But he also had a lot of hardliners in his inner circle, and the hardliners wanted to go to war. And so, it wrestling with, “Destroy the world. Or, maybe we can survive this.”

And Kennedy gave him an out because of guy that was in his inner circle all that had a personal relationship with Khrushchev. I mean we came that close to total all out nuclear Armageddon. That was, before my time. It was before I was even born. And so, that takes highly masculine energy to stand up to, at the time, the Soviets, and say, “We’re not backing down. But hey, if…”

And so, the way Khrushchev was able to save face, he’s like, well, the United States was going to go to war and basically destroy the world. And we, in essence, saved the planet. We took the missiles and saved humanity. We saved Cuba. It was a very humanitarian thing. It was very egalitarian of us to do. And then you look at like our current president, things are pretty stable when Trump was in supposedly what Trump had said.

And what is the interesting thing is that when you look back in the 1980’s, you look at Ronald Reagan and his interactions with Gorbachev. And Gorbachev thought Reagan was crazy and that he would push the button. In other words, he would go to nuclear war. He was afraid of that. He was unpredictable and supposedly what Trump said to Putin when he was in office, he says, “If you move on Ukraine, I will nuke Moscow and Saint Petersburg.”

He supposedly also told Xi Jinping that, “If you move on Taiwan, I will nuke Beijing and Shanghai.” And those are the kinds of things, you’re like, “Is he serious? Is he crazy? Is he bluffing?” Those are the kinds of things where when you got somebody backed into a corner like that, and they seem kind of nuts, it’s like, you’re not going to screw with them. But then you look like what happened when Joe Biden got in office.

Look how he just let Afghanistan fall apart. Just handed it back over to the to the Taliban, along with billions of dollars in weapons that we just left there. And then look what happened when he was Vice President under Barack Obama. Putin invaded Georgia, he invaded Ukraine. And what did they do? Obama wrote strongly worded letters. He did nothing. And so, when Biden got back into office, everybody can see he’s a geriatric.

He doesn’t have all his faculties. It’s clear he’s not running the country. It’s obviously the people around him. The woke idiots that he’s put around him were the ones actually running the country. What did he think was going to happen? That’s why he invaded Ukraine, because he knew he was like, “The guy’s senile. What’s he going to do?” Plus, Putin’s FSB said, oh, “Three days will be treated as liberators. It’ll be a cakewalk. The war will be over in three days.”

Even people in our intelligence, I think General Milley was saying, “Ukraine will hold out for like two weeks and then, you know, they’ll lose the whole country.” And so, from Putin’s perspective, weakness always invites aggression. And so, we had a weak President. He had been Vice President before, and they did nothing. So obviously when he invaded this time around, it totally caught him off guard.

And then when it wasn’t such an easy cakewalk, the people in the FSB and the intelligence services are like, “Oh yeah, it will be over in three days. They’re not even going to give up a fight. We’ll be treated as liberators.” He imprisoned all those guys. You know, so it shows that the KGB or the FSB was about as competent as the CIA was. When you look at weapons of mass destruction, how that turned out to all be bullshit. So, weakness invites aggression.

And so, because we have a weak President, you’ve got Putin moved on Ukraine. And when you look at what he’s talking about in the media, it’s pretty clear that he has every intention of taking as much of Ukraine and some of these other Countries back that used to be part of the Soviet Union, that the West is going to let him get away with. I mean, you can look at the translated clips.

They talk about it all the time on Russian TV, even when Tucker Carlson was interviewing them, Putin goes on, he’s talking about Catherine the Great and all these things. And Tucker wasn’t really listening to him. Because he already had these preconceived notions about what was going on. He just thought it was all nonsense. But Putin was laying out his case. In other words, these are our historical lands. That’s what they say.

That’s what they say in Russian TV, you can see the translated clips. There are several people on Twitter that translate these and put them on there. What the average Russian is consuming is like, “Hey, these are our lands, our historical lands, and we’re taking them back. We’re not going to let it go to the west.” And the other thing, what’s interesting is Putin talks about all the stuff going on, with all the rainbow stuff, if you will, and I don’t want to get too into it. I don’t.

I got to be careful what I say about those things. But he looks at that. He looks at the migration that’s going on in Europe. He looks at what the World Economic Forum guys are going on. Again, these are stuff that appears in his speeches, which you can go read all the translations online for these. And it’s pretty clear he looks at that saying, “The West is basically committing suicide here.”

And so, if he lets the West take over these areas, that used to be the Soviet Union, he’s like, they’re going to end up eventually in the coming decades, totally destroying the culture and those countries, and they’re going to be right on our border. So for him, he looks at it as like we’re taking back our historical lands, and we’re not going to let the West totally destroy it. That’s his mindset.

Whether you agree with it or not. I mean, again, you can see all this stuff for yourself. It’s on Twitter. All the speeches are out there. You can see tons of lectures, and talks, and things, and even where he’s talking with the press, where he’s explaining his rationalization. So, we have a weak President. So what happens? You’ve got a guy that’s behaving like a bully, and if you don’t punch the bully in the mouth, well, he thinks you’re too much of a pussy to do anything about it, so he’s going to keep taking it.

That’s just the way it is, whether you like it or not. That’s what’s happening. And look at all the stuff that happened with Israel. Why did Hamas attack now on October 7th this past year, instead of when Trump was in office? Because you had an alpha in the White House. But with a geriatric in the White House, it’s like, the whole planet is on fire, basically. So back to our regularly scheduled email.

I’m wondering what’s your thoughts about these individuals? Because hearing somebody’s stories, if a man or a woman is able to give off feminine energies, but also give up a little bit of masculine, that can actually cause someone to be extremely attracted to them.

Well, it’s the dominance of the essence. There’s nothing wrong with being a strong masculine man, but being a guy that can play a guitar and be creative and sit there with your daughter, or one of your nieces and nephews and let her put makeup all over you, and dress like a girl. This is like if you’ve ever been a parent, whether it’s part time or you’ve been a real parent, or an aunt or an uncle. It’s like when the kids want, when little girls want to put makeup on you.

It’s like, yeah, whatever. It’s like, let them have their fun. They want to play with your hair. It’s like, whatever. It’s like, you’re going to let them do it, because they’re kids. But that doesn’t mean that you’re a chick. It just means that you’re able to play. You’re able to experience joy. But at the end of the day, you’re dangerous but kind.

But it has to be done very strategically. There has to be fine balance.

Well, again, if there’s not a strong sexual polarity and your too similar, whether it’s lesbians, gay dudes, heterosexual couples, the feminine essence is not going to want to sleep at the masculine essence. Because it’s acting too much like a chick. That’s a fact of life.

If someone gives too much feminine energy it’s not good it’s chaotic and it’s not safe and it’s just unattractive to women. Or you could become their gay boyfriend.

True. That’s why women friend zone guys that act too effeminate and girly. They’re not direct, they’re not decisive. They just chit chat on the phone like another chick instead of just, getting to the point and making a date.

Hearing stories of men being at their core is masculine, but there are also qualities of femininity that complement the masculine stability that is given from people who are masculine. It really can cause women to be attracted to men who behave like that as well, so that’s very strange phenomenon.

Well, women are not going to stay attracted to a guy that’s effeminate and girly all the time. That’s why you also see, like celebrities, you see some of these famous musicians or whatever that tend to be very effeminate and girly, but they’re also rich and successful and famous and they get up on stage, which is very risky. It’s very dangerous. It shows a lot of courage being courageous. That’s masculine energy.

And then they start dating these guys, and then the guys act like chicks. They’re too feminine, they’re too girly. And then what happens is they get dumped, and they get their heart broken. And then what happens when the musician gets his heart broken? He writes this incredibly beautiful number one hit love song that is basically him crying about how he got his heart broken. Because the emotions are so raw, they’re so intense, they’re so strong.

That vibe and that energy makes it into the music. The chords, the arrangement, everything that makes up the song. There are super intense emotions behind it. And that’s why when you look at, like hit songs, why so many of them tend to be sappy love songs, where some musician got his heart broken by a girl he was dating. So just because you’re attractive or you’re rich and famous or successful, that might get your foot in the door.

But if you act like a chick for too long, you could be handsome and buff and built. Have a deep voice, but when you get around a girl, you act too nice, too feminine, too girly. She’s going to lose interest, and friend zone you, and not want to sleep with you. Because she won’t feel safe with you. She’ll feel like she’s hanging out with another girl basically instead of a man.

And I think maybe the reasons why women are attracted because it’s an emotional connection that a woman feels that a man is giving to them that they can relate to in some ways, but there’s certain energies, but it’s not too much feminine, that to the point they know that the guy is over pursuing them like a woman.

Say if you were the encounter individuals like these people, who may have these attributes, but maybe lack some skills that need, they need to improve with confidence or even certain communication skills what advice would you offer them?

Sincerely,

Bob

Yes, some of like what this guy says here, is not really making a lot of sense. It’s like a mental circle jerk for him. In other words, what he seems to be doing is making excuses that he’s a little too much in his feminine. And he’s trying to look around and go, “Oh, look, all these guys, they have feminine energy, so I should just stay the same.” It’s like, well, obviously you didn’t write in because things are going well. You’re in essence writing in and trying to validate your worldview.

But the fact of the matter is, I’ve been doing this for multiple decades, and I’ve done tens of thousands of phone sessions over the years. And coaching people through the internet, through email. And I see the same patterns over and over and over and over again. You know, success leaves clues when you’ve seen the same patterns over and over and over again, you start to recognize that women are just as predictable as the sun coming up in the East and setting in the West, if you understand that.

But again, if you’re a man and you’re attracted to a feminine woman, or if you’re a lesbian, a masculine lesbian attracted to feminine women, a feminine lesbian, or you’re a masculine gay guy and you’re attracted to  effeminate girly dudes, it’s like if you act too much like a chick, you’re going to turn your partner off. That is a fact of life. And so, you need the strong polarity. Without it, you’re going to become loveless, sexless roommates.

I mean, when I do phone sessions, it’s like I’m constantly talking to guys that have done that. They’ve acted too effeminate, too girly, because again, they’re propagandized by what they see in TV and the movies, and they don’t know any better. And they don’t understand what behaviors they’re exhibiting that are detailed in 3% Man. That are causing the women, or the feminine essence to get totally turned off. So you got to have the polarity.

If your natural essence is masculinity, you need to be highly polarized as much as possible to your masculine, because that’s what’s going to attract a feminine, chaotic woman. Now, I’m not talking about chaotic in a destructive sense, or a rude sense, or a woman that has emotional problems or mental health issues or anything like that.

I’m talking just a normal, healthy woman gets emotional, they cry. Things upset them, and you have to be able to communicate with them, make them feel heard and understood to where they feel it’s safe to express themselves. They feel it’s safe to have a cry in front of you. Because you’re not going to become emotional and girly, but you’re going to be the mountain. You’re going to be her rock, so to speak.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page on my website and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.