In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose girlfriend was jerking him around, canceling plans at the last minute, hanging up on him while they were talking on the phone, etc. He has not heard from her in several days and he’s getting nervous because she normally calls him everyday.
They started off hot and heavy seeing each other everyday for the first few months. Now she is backing off since he has tended to let her jerk him around, take him for granted and he’s not been standing up for what he wants. He’s definitely become more of the pursuer and the power has flipped. How do I know? Her actions tell me everything. However, her behavior is unacceptable and he’s about to find out how much she really cares, or doesn’t care about him.
“No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. When you fail to stand up for yourself and what you want in your relationships, the other person usually sees your weakness. A loving person would help you heal your weakness with support, encouragement and unconditional love. A selfish, inept, uncaring or manipulative person will seek to control you and mold you into what they want, and get angry with you when you don’t live up to their unreasonable expectations. Demand that everyone who you are in relationship with respect your boundaries and treat you with the proper respect, appreciation and love that you know you deserve through their actions, and not just their flowery language. If after communicating what you want with love to your partner, they still do not change their behavior or give you want you want, you have the choice to either accept them as they are without expecting them to change, or let them go so you can find someone who is ideally suited to you. The right person will make a mutual effort and not let you go so easily because they value you. Those who don’t truly value you or themselves will let you go. Let them, it takes two to make a relationship work. Make sure other people continually choose you also.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne