Screening Out Low Quality Chicks

This is a great email I got from a client recently. He has several questions about the “perfect woman” and how to screen out the bad apples quicker when dating women.

I have taken his original email and added my comments throughout it:

Hi Tom,

Thanks for your questions. I am going to answer them in the body of your email. My answers are in (parenthesis like this):

Yep, this is my first e-mail to you Corey. I have your book and followed through on your advice regarding having fun interactions, make her laugh, make her feel comfortable, and build sexual tension. Now I have a woman who’s normally the dominant in a relationship and she’s following my lead, doing what I want. (Good Job! That is why I always say, don’t believe a word I say, just try it out and you will see that it works!) I realize after being with her that she’s not who I want to be with. (It happens. “Life is change. Growth is optional.” What’s really exciting is now you are ready for an even greater challenge! A woman who you will find even more exciting than your current girl. Like a fine wine gets better with age, you will get better with women, and the quality of woman you are able to attract gets better. Repetition is the mother of skill. However, each level requires you to grow more and to give more. The feelings get more intense too. That is why it’s important to have a guy like me to coach you through the process, so it’s easy and effortless.)

I used to be an executive recruiter and know qualifying questions inside and out, but I suspect I need to get better at it. (You do, and you will. I can tell you are dedicated, and most importantly, you take action.) Or maybe you just don’t know until you’re with the woman and start uncovering her behaviors, priorities, and her principles/values. (Most people can hide their true selves for about 90 days max in a relationship.)

My questions:

1) Is there any way to find out what she’s like a bit faster? I suspect the answer is no. A relationship takes a certain path and hits particular landmarks along the way towards discovering or getting beyond the facades and walls to start defining her and her nature…who she really is. (What’s most important is getting to know who you are first and becoming your best self. The more you practice this stuff, the greater your awareness will grow. You will start to see flaky behaviors in a woman quicker. When a guy first starts learning and applying what I teach, he is still “waking up,” so to speak. He tends to project his high interest level on the first hot chick that comes along. I warn guys to put the woman on probation when he first starts dating her. When a guy is starting to get success with hot women for the first time, he does not see all of her crap and issues because he is blinded by his own high interest. The best way to get around this is to date multiple high quality women at the same time. Take things slow. Date for several years so you can get to know yourself better and what’s really important instead of what you think is important. This is something that comes with experience. You learn to just slow things down and if things don’t work out with this new really hot chick, so what? You’ll be meeting someone new tomorrow. How often do you meet a new best friend? Not very often. How often do you meet a super high quality chick who is perfect for you and who you are perfect for? Not very often. So be patient, work on you and getting better with women. Then when the right one comes along, she will make you marry her through her charm, sex appeal and good-naturedness, and you will be happy to go along. Like the Fleetwood Mac song “You Make Loving Fun,” the right girl will. Take your time. Enjoy the journey)

2) How is it I’m always attracting the larger women? (You either like larger women or you are settling. Only YOU know the answer to that question.) I could make a list of the qualities, characteristics, and ‘look’ of the woman I want, but either they’re not interested, (Just the ones you have approached so far. It only takes one. There are 6 billion people on this planet. At least half are women. You need to get clear about what it is that you really, really want, and then set about the task of becoming that person. You must become what you want to attract), I’m not putting off the right ‘vibe,’ (That’s definitely possible too), or I prefer the chase to the catch and settle for/become satisfied with women who are easier to handle and walk away from. (A lot of guys do that. It takes balls to go after what you want in life.) In my mind, there’s not too many of them out there. (The good ones are rare, but they are worth waiting for. Have fun with different chicks until Mrs. Right shows up.) I need to be comfortable saying no and having the strength to walk away from the ‘perfect’ woman, as you had mentioned in a previous email to not be afraid. (Amen to that. I got married when I was younger because I did not have the balls to walk away myself. If you want to have something in life, you have to be willing to do without it, unless its what you really really want. Why settle? Settling is for suckers. Plus, it’s no fun.)

Yes, the first paragraph and #1 and #2 are linked in a way, because the ‘perfect’ woman may not be the perfect one for me…inside. Sometimes Corey, I truly believe she’s just not out there. (That communicates…”I’m too lazy to take the time to work on myself and become a better man. I’m not willing to pay the price to become the man I need to be in order to attract the type of woman I know I really deserve.” Dude, quitting is easy. “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” It just takes time, perseverance and practicing infinite patience with yourself. You’ll get there when you get there. Relax, its in the bag. Just do the work, and you will get to where you want to be.)

Take care. Thanks for the great advice. I love being the man and the woman being the chick. I used that by the way. I told a woman, “Be the chick.” I caught her off-guard, caused her to pause, and set myself apart from who she’d been with before…the same woman in the first paragraph I need to walk away from. (That took balls to say. Nice job!) Should our man mantra be, Accept No Substitutes? Lol! (Well, from my experience, once you have “driven” a “Ferrari,” why go back to a moped when you get rid of the Ferrari? What do I mean by “Moped?” The “Moped” is like a fugly fuck buddy chick. It’ll get you to where you want to go, but you don’t want anybody to see you on it! So what do you do when you get tired of your Ferrari? It’s time to get a newer model!)

Tom