Why you should focus on giving love and not being attached to or expecting anything in return, and why this is a superior mindset and way of being to attract the kind of lover you’ve always dreamed of, and why it will repel imperfect and toxic lovers to ensure you attract the kind of lover who will unconditionally love and accept you for who you really are, thereby making your dates and relationship effortless.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who recently started following me on YouTube after his marriage of two years, and relationship of four years, ended after he discovered that she was cheating on him with one of her co-workers. He shares several red flags he noticed early on but ignored that should have caused him to dump her instead of marrying her.
He describes how he treated her perfectly, like I discuss in my book, when he first started dating her, but because he was unaware of my work at the time, it led to him becoming a beta male and pleaser that went along with everything she wanted in his effort to possess her and prevent from losing her. He also shares how he is now dating a great woman who adores him, takes time out of her life to do things for him, and that is completely effortless and easy to be with. He never knew that dating could be so effortless and easy.
I recently started following you on YouTube, and I’m halfway done reading your book. I know. I need to get on it. (Read my book 10-15 times so you know the fundamentals.) Some of the stuff that you talk about in your videos really hit home for me. I recently filed for divorce from my wife of two years, we dated for two years and were married for another two, after I discovered that she was cheating on me with one of her co-workers for a couple of months. (That’s why it’s important you find a high quality woman with integrity.) There were several red flags that I missed early on in our relationship, and I told myself several lies in order to stick around and get married to this woman and not lose her. (You married her to possess her, instead of just loving her for who she was.) When I first met her, I used to be an alpha male. I was always indifferent. I think this initially attracted her towards me. It’s only after a few years of dating that I somehow transformed into this needy, insecure wussy of a man who completely came unglued every time we would argue. Like you say, I did not understand women and how they communicated AT ALL.
Early on in our relationship, my ex had told me that she instantly loses respect for any guy that shows too much emotion or acts like a woman, a.k.a. not a MAN, and she could never date such a guy. (Instead of fixing your relationship, she got her needs met elsewhere.) I did not understand the meaning of this statement then, but I definitely do now. Eventually, my wussy self / beta male attitude gave in to everything she wanted to do. (This is more evidence that what women think they want is not what they’re attracted to.) I never stood up for myself, and I acted like a total beta male. This behavior led to more arguments in our relationship, eventually I uncovered the cheating, and this led to the end of our marriage. I understand now that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the cheating or lying, and maybe this is who she was all along, but I could have definitely done many things differently had I known of your work. That said, had I known about you work, we would have never gotten married in the first place! (Yes, because you would have realized she wasn’t good marriage material. Obviously there were red flags. If she was a cheater, she is always going to be a cheater.)
I am happy to say that I’m now dating a great woman that adores me and takes time out of her life to do things for me. The effortless part of dating was something I never knew existed. It’s fucking amazing! It’s almost like you’ve cracked the code of human interactions or something. Anyway, I love watching your videos and gaining the knowledge you provide. Thanks for everything you do for your fellow man! (You can see, when you start applying the right philosophy to how you live your life and to your relationships, things can get better. Life is supposed to be easy. It’s naturally designed that way, but you’ve got to know how to show up.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The best things in life are free. The secret to a high quality life and personal relationships is easy when you know what to focus on and how to treat other people. If what you are doing in your personal or professional life is not getting you the results you really want and deserve, then you need to change your unsuccessful approach. Why? If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you always got. Unsuccessful people toil and struggle doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different result. Successful people realize when their approach is flawed or not working, and seek out new knowledge, strategies and techniques from people who are already getting the easy and effortless results that they want. Then, they model their success by doing the same things, and eventually they get the same results.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne