Self-Help Is A Pain In The Ass!

Jan 19, 2012 by Coach Corey Wayne

Like Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “it’s never crowded along the extra mile.” Self-help and trying to better yourself can be a total pain in the ass! Another thing he says is, no matter where you are in your life, the fact of the matter is, your best thinking got you to where you are right now! So whether you are happy where you are right now, or not, your own actions or lack thereof, are the only reasons why you are where you are.

It’s very difficult to keep yourself motivated to keep moving forward when you’re only halfway through, a decade-long plan to create or achieve something in your life such as: becoming a doctor, creating a successful business, becoming CEO of a company, etc. All of us are surrounded by people who are mostly weak, lethargic, lazy and who generally attack anyone verbally or with humor when they are near people who are a reflection of what they wish they could be. If you are an entrepreneur and your company is a new startup, it’s tough to keep yourself motivated to keep moving forward when you are several years into your startup, but it’s still chewing up your time, you’re not making any real money and you still can’t leave a job you hate when you are surrounded by people who constantly try to get you to quit and be mediocre like them.

As you may have noticed, I am brutally honest with people at times. If someone is 5′-7″ and weighs over 300 pounds, but they refer to themselves as being a little over weight, I will tell them, “no, you’re fat!” People bullshit themselves all the time into not doing what they know they need to do. When people talk to me, they can’t bullshit me. I am not going to enable or encourage their mediocrity by blowing smoke up their asses. Sometimes you’ve got to shake people a little to wake them up. Most people are followers. They will only do what the rest of the herd does. Leaders go first by adopting and doing things that scare the crap out of most people. When enough leaders step forward and lead by example, the rest of the herd will follow.

When I first published my book back in 2006, I knew that every guy should read my book. Most men are totally clueless when it comes to understanding how to properly and successfully interact with women. Don’t believe me? Ask most women you know if they think most men are clueless when it comes to understanding women, and how to properly approach and handle their interactions and relationships with women. The thing I did not realize when I first started my company, was how resistant to change and improving this area of their lives men are. Most men tend to be very egocentric and are therefore not very open to learning things that will help them. Especially if those things involve dealing with things that are uncomfortable such as irrational fears, insecurities, limiting beliefs, etc. People will do more to avoid pain, then they will do to gain pleasure. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn the basics of approaching, dating & understanding what women really want in a man. What this means for you is… you are very special! Most people don’t have the guts to work at bettering themselves.

I look at my own circle of friends and family. Most of my friends and family, are aware of the results I have gotten in my own life with what I teach. However, they simply will not do what is necessary to help themselves. It’s really sad to watch your friends die of cancer, etc. knowing that they could of helped themselves recover with a few simple changes, but watching them act like the walking dead on a conveyor belt to their grave. They simply don’t care or love themselves enough. They don’t think they are worth it, nor will they do anything to help themselves. I have some really amazing and really successful friends. However, having money and lots of resources does not guarantee you will become all that you are capable of becoming.

So what is the secret to staying motivated as you chase your dreams and goals over the many years and decades it takes to achieve them? For me, it breaks down to what you do, or what you fail to do everyday. Trying to get a little better every day. Motivating myself to take action when I do not feel like it. I love Jerry Rice’s quote, “today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” I simply apply better success principles on a more consistent basis, than the average person does. My little daily efforts don’t add up to much. However, over time these little daily efforts add up to big successes. Most of the time it will look like things are not going to be working out for you. It’s not until years down the road, once you have momentum, that success becomes so obvious that you cannot ignore it. But in the beginning, there is scarce evidence of future success in your life; all you have is your vision and your dreams. You must choose something to achieve that is emotionally compelling to your heart. So compelling, that the thought of doing anything else is torture to you.

Most people give up on their dreams because they don’t like failure or being disappointed. So they avoid it altogether. Helping yourself and doing the work to better your life is really hard and unpleasant sometimes. Why? You are forced to confront your own weaknesses, shortcomings, fears, guilt, shame, anger, etc. in order to overcome them. The upside? After you get through the shadow of the valley of death so to speak, you realize… there was nothing to be scared about. It was simply a matter of doing the daily work, success rituals, routines, etc. required to succeed at improving whatever area of your life you are trying to improve: health, relationships, pick-up, intimacy, physical fitness, career, business, wealth building, etc. Those are some things to think about when you feel like quitting or not trying.

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From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“When your mind says give up, hope whispers one more try.”-Unknown

Published on January 19, 2012

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hello Corey. I am a 61 Year old married man. I am confident & meet many women of varied ages. My wife is right to trust me. But In the future when I am with a woman I may fall in love with with this woman. So far I have not cheated sexually with any other women. Yes I have kissed & hugged other women. When a women wants sex I refuse because I am not feeling enough to cheat on my wife. I told my wife I would only cheat if I met a woman that I was in love with. I have chatted with many women online. At the moment just two women. Both are teachers. As I am a teacher it helps in understanding their lives. We have many interests in common.
    Both women are 40 years old slim very beautiful. One divorced & one a widow. I will meet these women one at a time. One lady is Chinese living in Beijing & one lady a Filipino working in Saudi Arabia who will be returning home to the Philippines. As I am able to travel anywhere in the world and stay long periods of time. Both these ladies want me to live with them. They both have informed me online that they are in love with me.i have feelings for both women. But love I consider is only real when you are together in real life. Both women are sexually turned on by me. Both show me videos & photos of a sexual nature. They are not scammers as we are in open conversation daily. Photos of life & family & friends. What is your opinion of online relationships? Am I guilty of Adultery if they have orgasms online? I have a erection yes.

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