Sell Women On Being With You In Person. Not Over The Phone!

Why you should sell women on being with you in person & not over the phone.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He’s struggling with making dates in person and trying to get to know her over the phone and text. He’s talking her out of liking him and she often takes a full day to reply. He asks how to attract her because he’s getting frustrated. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Sell Women On Being With You In Person. Not Over The Phone!”.

Well, this particular email is from a guy who’s new to my work. And it’s one of those emails when I go through it, everybody’s going to be shaking their head because they’re like, man, I did that. We all do this when we don’t know any better. And so this guy’s struggling with making dates in person and trying to get to know the girl over text. And what ends up happening is he ends up talking to girls and texting them out of liking him. And one he was starting to see, thought he was progressing, and now she’s taking a full day to reply. So clearly her interest has dropped. As I say in the book, the phone is for logistics, it’s for setting dates.

It’s not getting to know somebody. Because the more time you spend trying to talk and text and send memes and crack jokes and get to know somebody over text, what will happen is you’ll actually start seeing them less and less in person. So it’s a bad way to go. Obviously, if you met somebody online, you’re going to send some messages back and forth, and then you’re going to try to move that to a phone call so you can hear her voice.

Ideally, if you can do a FaceTime chat so you can see her, read her body language, talk for maybe ten, 15 minutes, see if you click, see if you like talking to her, if you like listening to her, if she’s interesting, and vice versa. Because if it doesn’t go well on a phone call or a FaceTime chat, there’s no reason to meet in person. So that’s typically the process. And then once you have created that initial rapport, then you’re going to make dates. Then you go, you hang out, you have fun, you hook up.

Then when you reach out for the next date, you’re just trying to say, “Hey, I had a great time with you last week or last weekend or the other night. Really love to see you again. What’s your schedule like?” That’s all you’ve got to say, you know. “Hey, how you been? How you doing?” “Hey, here’s a funny meme”, trying to crack jokes, nine times out of ten, when you try to crack a joke with a girl you just met, and she doesn’t know your sense of humor. And more often than not, your jokes are not going to land or it’s not going to land the way you thought it would. So it’s best not to do those things.

Anybody that’s in sales knows this. If you can’t get your prospect to come into your place of business, or if you’re a car dealer, if they won’t come in to look at a car or test drive a car, they’re not going to buy it over the phone. They’re just not serious. They’re what we refer to as tire kickers. People are just passing time. They got nothing to do. “Hey, let’s go and look at some new cars even though we’re not going to buy one, we’re not in the market. But hey, it’d be kind of fun to go look at some.” And when you’re in a sales position, you got a limited amount of time. Time is money.

If you’re talking to people that are not ready, willing, able and open buyers, they’re going to chew your time up and you’re going to earn zero commissions. So that’s why you pre-qualify people. If you’re in a sales business, the mortgage business, real estate business, you’re going to make sure you’re dealing with somebody that’s legit, that’s legitimately interested. And then once they are, it’s you got to make the appointment as quick and as efficiently as possible.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey, 

I just bought your book and it’s coming in the mail. The selling point for me was that you said your work helps people with a sales background.

Yeah people that are in a sales background really do well with the book, because my background is in sales as well. And the techniques that are in there, just basic creating rapport. And so anybody that’s in sales that’s decent or does a good job in sales, really, they’re kind of already doing a lot of these things. And then you kind of apply it to your dating life, to pre-screen your prospects, to vet your prospects, make sure you’re dealing with a woman, high character person, not a low character person. Because you always got to evaluate people’s character, not what they say. Don’t get hypnotized by the pretty packaging.

Which fits me perfectly since I work in sales. I’m 23 and recently started seeing a 22-year-old woman who’s in grad school about two hours away.

Ideally, especially when you’re that young, 10 to 15 minutes away from where you live is the best. But if you’re meeting online and you’re willing to open up your geographic area, if it’s a cool city and you don’t mind traveling, that can be fun. But the longer you’re together and the longer you’re going to date, at some point somebody’s going to have to move if you’re going to stay together.

She’s graduating early in May 2025, so I get that she’s busier than most women I’ve dated.

Well, attraction level cuts through everything. If she really likes you, she’ll make time for you. And when women have low interest, they tell you how crazy their work schedule is or in this case, how busy they are with school. And when you hear those kinds of things, she’s basically telling you why she can’t see you. It’s because she’s so busy. It’s just motivation. She’s not a highly motivated buyer, if you will. Again, women vote with their feet. If they’re with you, it means they voted for you. Women who like you make it easy to get together on a date, and women that don’t throw roadblocks in your way. They give excuses. They tell you how busy they are. They’re not sure their schedule.

They’ll have to check their schedule, get back. That kind of thing. What you’re looking for is a woman who’s got an attitude of, like, “Hell yeah, I’d love to see you. That would be great. That’d be fun. Let’s do it. Let’s go out.” Instead of, “Oh, I don’t know. This week is not good. Uh, work is crazy. School is crazy. I just don’t have much time.” They just don’t have much time for you. When they say that if women, if fall in love with dudes, are willing to break them out of prison and lose their freedom when they get arrested, it just goes to show if she’s more excited about studying and going to school and spending time with you, it’s like, well, that’s her motivation. Her interest is not that high.

We’ve gone on two dates so far. After the first one, I drove to her town, we hung out, and after going back to her apartment we made out but stopped when I initiated sex. She’d found out earlier that week that I’ve been abstinent for six months.

Don’t tell women that. That’s not something they need to know. But he’s brand new to my work, and he’s been brainwashed by the same propaganda and TV and movies that we have that says, tell a girl everything about you. Tell her all your innermost secrets, your fears, your hangups, your insecurities, your doubts, your shortcomings. And she’ll think you’re cute and you’ll live happily ever after. You don’t need to tell a woman that you’ve “been abstinent in sex for six months.”

Saving myself for the right person. I stayed cool and left for a videography gig, and on the drive home she kept calling and texting, which I took as a good sign of attachment.

It’s not a sign of attachment, it’s a sign of interest. You guys that are getting into that attachment theory stuff, it’s like it becomes a fucking excuse for everything. Attachment theory wasn’t even around 2 or 3 years ago. Nobody was talking about it. And now guys are always talking about it. Every little problem that they have with a woman, it’s, “Oh, it’s got to be attachment this, attachment that.” Which just basically becomes, oh, that’s an excuse. That’s a code for “Hey, it’s not my fault I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s her attachment issues.”

The following Friday, she drove two hours to see me. We got food and went back to my place because she said she was “too tired.” There things heated up again. Her pants came off but she stopped us once more, saying, “I don’t want you to regret it.”

That’s when you go, “Honey, do I look like I’m regretting this right now?” That’s her way of going, holding you accountable to what you say you want. But her pants are coming off. If you’re not interested in hooking up, why are you taking her pants off? It’s like, come on, don’t put the woman in charge.

Later, with a bit of sales-style conversation, she admitted she’s been a “talking stage hoe”, her words.

In other words, she pretty much fucks every guy that she goes out with that she’s talking to. That’s what she’s telling you. I mean, she sounds like she was ready to bone the first night. She was ready to bone here, but she didn’t want you to feel guilty.

Meaning she tends to lose interest or ghost guys.

Uh, well, as I’ve discussed with the girls in the podcast, most guys last about two, three weeks, and the girls might really like the guy in the first week or so thinking, oh, this is great. We really click, but quickly the guys game comes apart. Usually when he really starts to like her and then after three weeks, they’re out. 2 to 3 dates, they’re out.

I didn’t see it as a major red flag. It sounded like normal casual dating.

Well, if a woman refers to herself as a talking stage hoe. So in other words, she talks to a lot of guys, dates those guys and always sleeps with them, and most of the time it doesn’t work out because again, the average guy gets a taste of the pussy and he can’t fucking handle it and he just talks, texts and chases the girl right out of his life and turns her off. And most women don’t understand. All they know is that their feelings change. They no longer felt excited and interested to see them. That’s what’s really going on. And you’ll see as you start to go through the book here.

I figure most guys just chased too hard; she’s very attractive.

Yeah, I would agree. That’s what happens is they become more interested. They call too much. They text too much. It’s like they’re on a mad dash to the finish line to make her their girlfriend or their wife, or put a ring on her finger, and they just end up going way faster than the woman is ready to. But if you follow what’s in the book, the book helps you take measured steps so you remain mysterious. And most importantly, you go actually slower than she is, which really turns women on. It makes them work to turn you on, to seduce you, and to get you or to convince you to be their boyfriend.

Before leaving, she mentioned that if her parents weren’t on their way home, we could’ve had sex.

Again, if you knew the book, you knew two steps forward, one step back. I mean, again, I could just tell she was ready to and down to bone. It sounds like you talked her out of it.

But I played it off and told her it’s no big deal. When she left, she kept asking for kisses, so she didn’t seem turned off.

Well, we always bottom line her actions in the moment. You can’t look at. “Oh, she was really into me a week ago or six months ago.” You have to look at, “what’s she doing now?” It’s like a 24 hour window. Like the weather report. The weather prediction is good for 24 hours. And then after that, all bets are off. So you have to take how a woman showed up on that day, not how she was behaving a week ago or the last time you saw her. How is she showing up right now?

Because how is she showing up right now is a true reflection of how she feels now. And at the end of the day, that’s the only thing that really matters with women is how they feel about you today, not how they felt about you six months ago. If they said they loved you six months ago, but you haven’t heard it since then, well, they loved you then, but they clearly don’t love you now. A lot of guys make the mistake of going, “hey, she told me she loved me once” and they just assumed that always applies. That’s not the case.

She’s got a packed couple of weeks coming up, but the next morning, she called and texted multiple times because she lost an earring in my room. I found it, and she said she’d try to see me again within those two weeks.

“She tried to see me again.” So when she says, “I’ll try to see you again”, just say, “Well, let me know when your schedule’s available and we can get together.”

She also called to ask if I was upset about not having sex.

Probably because she sensed you her little bothered by it.

But I told her I wasn’t, and actually appreciated her helping me stay disciplined.

Well, that’s actually a good response if you’re going to do that. Because she’s trying to see if you’re really bothered, really upset, perturbed. But if you’re totally indifferent, you can take it or leave it. That’s the opposite of most of the guys. Because again, as she said, she’s a talking stage hoe. In other words, every guy she casually dates, she basically hooks up with.

Most girls would’ve used breaking my abstinence for an ego boost. 

I don’t know about that.

The next day, I called her after work, she said she was busy and to “give her a sec.”

Well didn’t she say she was going to try to see you? So does that mean she’s supposed to get back to you and let you know her schedule?

I told her, “take your time,” then went to bed. Then she ghosted me for a whole day.

This is why, like the book says you should only reach out once a week to initiate a date. And when a woman is saying, “I’ll try to see in the next two weeks”, then just say, “Hey, figure out your schedule and get back to me.” Don’t tell her to figure out her schedule and then call her the next day. Because the fact that you called her the next day and then she didn’t respond for 24 hours, that shows her interest has actually gone down. Maybe you said something on the phone. We have to always look at our actions because it’s possible you say something on the phone that you think is funny and cute and it totally turns her off.

And again, if she’s calling and texting you just about every day and all of a sudden doesn’t for 24 hours, or especially in this case, when she leaves you hanging like that, that’s kind of unusual. Whereas before she always texted back pretty quickly. That shows she’s doing it on purpose. She’s waiting a full 24 hours because her interest is dropping and it’s usually confusing to them. She’s like, “I should feel different about this guy. He’s a great guy. But.” And so they wait to see how they feel because that’s the most important thing. Not what a great dude you are, but how they feel about you. And if they don’t feel good or they don’t feel as attracted, they tend to back off and be present with their feelings and see if it goes up or it goes down or it stays the same.

She texted the next day asking about my apartment search since I’m moving near her hometown. We texted lightly for a day, but since then, communication’s slowed way down. It used to be constant, now it’s like one message a day. 

Well the phone is for setting dates, and you’re basically trying to get to know this girl over the phone and over the text. Don’t do that, because that’s what happens. The more you talk and text you notice that she’s drifting away, now she’s taking 24 hours to reply. It shows her interest has gone down. So as the book says, you want to match and mirror that effort. And if you don’t hear from her for a full week, then reach out and try to set the next date. If she says, “schools crazy. She’s not good time.” Just say, “Hey, no problem, well figure out your schedule and hit me up.” And then whenever she does reach back out, whether it’s a week or two later or two days later, and just say, “hey.”

You assume she’s already figured out her schedule and that’s why she’s calling or texting. Women are not going to say, “Hey, I figured out my schedule, let’s make a date.” They don’t do that. They’ll typically send you a meme or say, “Hey, how’s your day going? What are you up to?” And again, you should just assume if she’s reaching out, she’s ready to see you. So try to make the date a definite date, definite time, definite place to get together and get off the phone. Because clearly the texting is probably boring her. That’s why she’s not texting back. It’s a boring conversation. And this is another reason why the phone is just simply for setting dates, not getting to know somebody.

I’m not over-pursuing.

Yes, you are.

But I can sense a shift.

That’s because you’re over pursuing.

I’m debating calling to check in and see how her week’s going.

Don’t do it. Wait a full week. If you don’t hear from her, then reach out to try to set the next date.

But I’m not sure if that’s the right move. Maybe I haven’t asked enough about her lately.

Dude, she’s not your girlfriend. You had two dates and that’s it. And if you bottom line her actions, she’s less interested in you now than she was at the end of your second date. So it might have been something you said in text. Maybe you’re trying to crack jokes and they didn’t land, and it turned her off. Because it’s unusual for the girl to be all over you like white on rice, and then ghost you for 24 hours. If they ghost you for 24 hours, it means their interest has dropped and they’re not that excited about you. So when you notice that, do nothing.

What’s your take? Is she losing interest?

Yep.

Or should I just stay cool?

Well, definitely read the book. I mean, it’s free to read in the Members Area of the Website until your physical copy gets there you can at least be reading the digital copy in the Members Area of the Website. All you got to do is go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, put your name and your email address and create a password and the book will open up right in your web browser.

She’s not the only girl on my roster though, she’s just the start player. 

Well that’s good. You got the right mindset. But like I said, you got to fill in your knowledge gap. And at this point, if you don’t hear from her for a full week, then I would reach out and say, “Hey, you. I want to see what your schedule is like.” And if she says, “Oh, I don’t know where school is real crazy, but how are you?” Just say, “I’m doing great. Well, why don’t you figure out your schedule and then get back to me and let me know when you’re available so we can get together. I want to see your face.” And then you wait to hear from her. And if she never gets back to you, well, then that’s pretty much, put a fork in it. It’s done.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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