In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who ended a five-year relationship this summer. Like many men and women who first contact me, he was trying to get his ex back. He says he initially though that what I teach was somehow a fraud, but that he knew better. He says after our first phone session, he had total clarity of where he went wrong and what he needed to do differently going forward. I also gave him some tips on some basic fundamentals on what he needed to focus on to approach new women. He says his skills were very rusty at first. Over the Christmas holidays, he met a beautiful woman who previously he would have thought was out of his league. He created an instant date and the chemistry was so good that the hours flew by. At the end of the date, he decided to go for it and kiss her. The indoor Olympics followed, she stayed the night and they made breakfast together in the morning. She’s from another part of the country and was only visiting family for the holidays. She since has returned home. He asks my opinion on how he did with her and what he should do to make sure that he is able to hook up with her again the next time she comes to town. He wants to keep his options open and continue meeting and dating other women to get some experience since he spent most of his 20’s in two long term relationships, and never really got to play the field before.
Hi Corey Wayne,
After a 5-year relationship ended this summer, I stumbled across your work. I started watching your videos and reading your book. In the beginning, I remember thinking that you somehow were a fraud, but now I know better.
When I first contacted you, it was to try and get my ex back. At that point in time, I had yet to realize how many things I had done wrong in the relationship causing my ex’s attraction to drop. I followed up with a coaching call with you, which made the obvious even clearer. (Phone sessions are a great way to get feedback.) At then end of our session, you gave me some tips on how to move onward and about approaching new girls. Being in a relationship during most of my twenties meant that, at this stage, I was a bit rusty. (This guy never dated around. It’s important to play the field so you can see what you like and don’t like.)
After this, I continued reading your book and watching your videos. To sum it up, my life has changed. Previously, I had no clue what I was doing. It was so bad that, in the two relationships I have had so far, the girls made the first moves. Now, I have no problem talking to all sorts of girls, even the really pretty ones. I no longer think of anyone as being too good for me. (That is your birth right. You deserve someone who knocks your socks off. Never again should you settle for someone who is just average.) It should be up to them to decide.
Fast forward to my current problem. This Christmas I met a girl that I previously would have thought was way out of my league. She was so smoking hot! I started to talk to her. The hours flew by, and suddenly it was about time to leave. The new me then felt that I had a shot, so I decided to go for it. To sum it up, there was not much sleeping going on that night. (He met her and seduced her in all in the same day. He was prepared with what he learned from my book.) The following morning, we spent some time talking and making breakfast until we had to leave. I knew she was living in another part of my country, so knowing this, I made contact two days later, perhaps a mistake, suggesting we meet up. She then blew me off with an excuse about how she had to meet up with her family, work, and then she would be going back home. I then replied that she should let me know the next time she came into town so that we could meet up. She then replied that I should add her on Snapchat, so I did. The question is, what should be my next step? (Nothing. See if she reaches out. If she does, make a Skype date and invite her to come visit you.) I’m currently talking to other girls as well, but want to keep the possibilities open to her as well. Do you see any big mistakes here? (No, great job. You knocked it out of the park.)
Anyhow, thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. You have made a big impact in my life so far, knowing I still have much to learn.
Kind regards from a happy follower!
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“All men and women should play the field and date a lot of different people to determine what they really want and what’s most important to them before getting into a long term relationship. When you’re young and inexperienced, you don’t know what you don’t know. By having multiple romantic options and experiencing several different partners before you get into a long term relationship, you won’t find yourself thinking that the grass is greener on the other side or that somehow, single people have it better. By learning to allow lovers and sex playmates to come and go as they please in your life, you will create a space for the right person to come and stay in your life for the right reasons. Once you have played the field, then you will be in a better position emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically, to focus 100% on loving, giving to and being authentically present with your relationship partner once you choose one to be exclusive with.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne