She Asked For Space & Me To Move Out. Apparently There Was Another Guy

What it means when your woman asks for space & you to move out.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who lived with his fiancée and their 1 year old baby. She asked for space and he agreed to move out. However, after moving back in he discovered she had been hanging out with another guy who had always liked her and been over to their house. Now he doesn’t trust her for obvious reasons and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Asked For Space & Me To Move Out. Apparently There Was Another Guy”.

So if you’re living in your castle and you’re the king of your kingdom and your girl wants space, then she’s got to be the one to move out. If you want to stay together, you don’t leave. If you don’t care about staying together and you don’t want to be with her, then you should leave. But if you own the house, you’re not going to leave your own house.

But in this case, his fiancée, who he has a one year old with, basically said she needed space and she needed time to think. So he’s like, you know what, “I’m going to give her space. I’m going to move out.” And so he goes and moves out and then come to find out some guy that had always liked her, who was just a friend was coming over to his house when he wasn’t around.

And so after a month or so, he decided to move back in. And that’s when he found this out. Now he’s going, “I don’t trust this bitch. What am I going to do?” So he writes in and asks my opinion. So this is something that’s important to understand.

If a woman asks for a break or she asks for space and you’re living together and you’re paying all the bills and she asks you to move out and you want to stay together, she needs to be the one to leave. You don’t go sleeping on the couch. She can do that. You don’t go stay with family. She can do that.

Viewer Email:

Hello,

I used to be an avid listener to your audiobook on How To Be A 3% Man prior to the 6 year relationship I was in. I am 29 years old, we have a home together and also a son who’s a little over 1 year old. In the past month, I was asked by my fiancée/ partner for a separation for a couple of months. She asked for space in order to have time to heal and to figure out if she wanted to get back together again.

So in this case, it definitely looks like she’s basically saying, “Hey, how about a time out? I’d like a hall pass.” She wanted to date and potentially sleep with other guys and see where it went. And more than likely she’s already talking to this guy and knows him and that’s what she’s thinking. She’ll replace you with this beta male orbiter. And on top of that, have him come over to your house and bump uglies in your bed with your supposed fiancée where your baby lives. Again, I wouldn’t have left the house, but what’s done is done.

Ultimately it was talked about and I made the sacrifice to leave the house for some time to create that space she asked for.

Well, if she wants space she can move out. Dude, I don’t know why you’re leaving your castle. Especially if you don’t want to be broken up. Especially if you’ve got kids because then she’s got to explain to the kids why she’s leaving. If you just leave and move out, then it looks like you’re the guilty one. And oftentimes women will frame it that way. So you’re creating other problems for yourself if you do those things.

Recently this past weekend I told her I was coming back home and I moved back into the house with them both, and we have been co-parenting this whole time while working opposite schedules. So this still allows for time apart from one another. During our time apart, I had found out and confronted her about some things that I saw. She had leaned on a friend.

But you say he’s just a friend. Oh, baby, you. You’ve got what I need.

She had leaned on a friend for support and to talk to. This friend already had prior feelings for her. She allowed for him to continue to come around the house when I wasn’t there and express those feelings and she said there was some flirting involved.

So more than likely she probably was hooking up with him. This is another reason why you don’t leave. But it looks clearly she wanted to test drive dating somebody else. In other words, she asked for the hall pass and you naively gave it to her. And on top of that, you moved out of your castle dude. A king does not leave his castle. If the Fair Maiden doesn’t want to live in the castle she can leave.

I was told a lot more about this when I confronted but at the end of the day I don’t truly know if I got every bit of information about what truly has happened or may still be going on.

Well, the only way you’ll actually get the truth is if you guys get back together and she falls head over heels in love with you, at some point then she’ll confess what actually happened. But it looks pretty obvious, and I’m sure probably most of the people watching this would go, “Dude, she’s hooking up with that other guy.

That was your replacement.” And that’s why she wanted the hall pass so she could see what it’s like. And she didn’t have to uproot her life too much. She just basically kicked you out and you complied. And then this guy’s coming over to your house, so you’re probably paying all the bills on and shagging your girl on top of that.

At this point in time, I have moments where I still want to make things work with her and find a way to start a relationship again. However I feel that I lost a lot of trust because of what happened during that short amount of time right after she asked for a separation.

Well, it’s pretty obvious what she was really asking for was a hall pass to see what it’s like dating somebody else, to see if she’s just going to move on completely. So that’s what it looks like. Love cannot exist where there is no trust. And so she was clearly talking to this guy behind your back while you were still together. That’s why as soon as you left the house, she gave him the green light to start coming over. “Oh, he flirted with me.” I was like, “Yeah, right. Sure. That’s all he did was just flirt with her.”

I’ve been working on myself a lot recently to keep myself strong and clear headed such as going to the gym regularly, consulting a therapist once a week and taking time for myself when I’m not around her or my son. I’ve also started to pick up your audiobook again and will continue to listen. I’m just reaching out to see what you may think of the situation and hear any thoughts you have about what you think would be the best way to move forward?

Thanks so much,

Bob

Well, I mean it’s pretty obvious. If you stay with her and you get back together with her, then she knows that when she’s unhappy, she can just talk to other men and you’ll put up with it and you’ll forgive her. So when she’s happy, she more than likely will be loyal and faithful. But when she’s not, she’s going to be talking to other guys. And you have to decide if that’s who you want to have more kids with and spend the rest of your life with. But it sure looks like you’d be sleeping with one eye open.

I don’t like the tongue kisses when I’m trying to talk. See how she just did that? So if it was me, I would be moving on. But I mean, I know you’ve got a kid, you’ve got the house. But whatever you tolerate, you’re going to invite more of. And even if you get back together with her, you’re always going to be wondering if she’s still talking to that guy or any other dudes. And so the fact that as soon as you left, this guy’s coming over, she was already talking to him.

You know, love cannot exist where there is no trust. And she doesn’t look like a very loyal woman. If you’re not married, then why go and get married? At the very least, get a good attorney that’s licensed to practice law in your state and your country and have a good prenuptial agreement drawn up. But to just go and get married to a woman who behaves this way, it just looks like next time she’s unhappy, she’ll just do the same thing. So whatever you tolerate, you invite more of.

Remember no one, as the book says, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. So why invite her to cheat on you and lie to you and to talk to other guys behind your back? But it’s your life, man. But it just doesn’t look good for her. It doesn’t look like she’s loyal or honest. And if you take her back, then you’re enabling her behavior. You’re basically saying, “Hey, next time you’re unhappy, I’ll leave and you can just go sleep with somebody else and have a hall pass.” That’s what it looks like.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

If you haven’t already signed up for my Exclusive Premium Members Only Content in the video description is video, there are links to join on YouTube, or you can join on Spotify or our Website UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just click the “plans” tab when you get there. And the good news is with my Website, you can do a seven day free trial to check out all the great content and extensive library of additional content that you get for being a Premium Member.

And if you choose an annual plan, you can get a 25% discount at the end of the seven day free trial. So go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the “plans” tab, sign up for a seven day free trial for a Premium Membership. And until next time, I will talk to you soon.