How to ensure you have good dates that result in women becoming more attracted to you, instead of dates that lead to rejection and being blocked.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is obviously new to the dating game, as well as being new to my work. He prefaces his email by saying he did everything I said to do, but then proceeds to share every thing he did on his date that made him look weak, immature, insecure, overly emotional and sensitive, which is the opposite of what I teach.
He turned a good dating opportunity into an unnecessary train wreck that lead to his date blocking him on social media and blocking his phone number. After groveling, begging and pleading, she has unblocked him, and he is hopeful he has another shot and asks my opinion. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I went out with this girl to see a movie on Saturday night.
(What do I say in my book about movies? You don’t go out to movies. Think about it. You’re trying to sell this person on what a great catch you are. How is somebody supposed to get the experience of a great catch if you go pick them up, then you sit in a movie theater for a couple of hours in dead silence? It makes no sense. Right off the bat, you’re violating one of the first principles in the book.)
I did everything you said about not talking too much and just asking her questions, and I can tell she was feeling me during this date.
(Well, how do you know? You were in a movie theater.)
We got back to the car, and I knew I needed to make a move and kiss her.
(It doesn’t work that way dude. It’s not about being a robot. As I talk about in my book, you’re looking at her body language and her physiology. When a woman is ready to touch and be touched, she’s going to get closer to you. She’s going to play with her hair. She might accidentally bump into you as you’re walking side by side. Those are invitations that she’s open and ready to be touched.)
I fell weak and told her to kiss me instead of making my move.
(So in other words, you don’t think you’re good enough to be kissed by her, so instead you tell her to kiss you.)
She then laughed and turned her head and we did a quick kiss. I then asked her if she wants to do that again, and she laughed and got kind of shy and said she likes to take things slow.
(You’re trying to make her into the man, because you’re afraid of rejection, and women are smart dude. They can pick up on that.)
She reassured my chances by saying I’m good looking, and it’s not like she isn’t attracted, so I said fair enough and laughed it off.
(It sounds like you’re in an approval seeking mode. You’re focused on “does this girl like me or not?” You can’t expect too much when you haven’t read the book 10-15 times yet, but this is like no self-awareness at all dude.)
After I dropped her home, she texted me while I was driving to text her when I get home.
(There’s nothing wrong with texting her when you get home that you had a great night, but you don’t ask her out on the next date then, because you’re still on your first date.)
I admit I felt a little insecure about if she liked me,
(Well, guess what, she knows you’re insecure about whether she likes you or not, because you communicated to her in several ways),
and ended up ignoring her until the next morning.
(That’s brilliant. You look at her text, she gets the read receipt and then you ignore her until the next day. She could tell you were insecure, and on top of that you were purposely waiting to get back to her. C’mon man.)
After that, her vibe changed and she started texting me slower. I can tell she didn’t like that I was playing games.
(That’s pretty obvious, but at least you figured that out.)
Anyway, she took a day to reply to my messages and gave a whack excuse about her phone not showing her messages.
(It sounds like you grilled her about why she took so long, which do you think that helped your case? Obviously not.)
I responded the next morning saying to hit me up when her phone was fixed, in a rude tone.
(This just goes downhill. What’s the whole tone here? It’s how you view yourself. “I’m not good enough. She’s not going to like me anyway, so I’m going to fucking blow her out of the water and blow her off like all the others have blown me off. That way I won’t get hurt this time.”)
She then basically told me “have a nice life” and blocked me on Instagram and my number. I wanted her so much. I added her on Snapchat and asked her to hear me out. I apologized for my attitude and told her I was just trying to be cool, and was holding back. She accepted my apology and said she’s good now that I explained myself, and we could keep talking and texting and see where it goes from there.
(In other words, “You’re in friendszone buddy. I could always use another pal.”)
Go with the flow.
Where do I take it from here to get a second date?
(Read the book 10-15 times, give her a call the next week and make a date. It’s more masculine to call. You just met this girl. You want her to get used to your voice and vice versa. Texting is just lazy, especially if you’re worried about getting rejected. A masculine man will pick up the phone. If you want to come off as more masculine and confident, you’re going to call. That’s going to make you more masculine, charming and desirable.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Dating is kind of like test driving a car you have potential interest in purchasing. When it comes to car shopping, a car’s beauty and potential should never hypnotize you, or you’ll risk paying too much or getting a bad deal. The same applies when it comes to dating someone new. You should entertain multiple offers and options, take your time when making a choice, do your due diligence to ensure your dream lover is just as great on the inside as they look on the outside, and only after test driving on multiple occasions (dates) do you make your decisions based upon their actions and not their words. Like great friends, truly exceptional lovers are rare and worth the wait, but once you meet one who qualifies, you’ll feel it in your heart and see it in their actions.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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