What it potentially means when an ex contacts you several months after your breakup & how to respond. As you begin to slowly master what I teach, you will be faced with situations where women from your past who dumped you or blew you off, contact you, sometimes many months after your breakup. As long as you are trying to improve your skills a little bit each day, when these unexpected phone calls or texts come to you, you’ll be prepared to respond to them in ways that create attraction, and ensure you get them back, if that’s what you want. The following is an e-mail from a reader who got dumped by his ex girlfriend in a very mean way. She dumped him for another guy unexpectedly. Now, eight months later, and after absolutely no contact with her at all, he gets a text from her the other day and wonders how he should respond and what it potentially means. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
What up man? I think I may have made made a boo boo and this grasshopper needs some Miyagi advice? The much younger Miyagi of course, lol. As I said in my previous emails “no luck,” my ex girlfriend of 4 years dumped me for another guy back in July last year. She finally contacted me after this past Thursday after 8 months of complete no contact! (Over time we tend to forget the bad things about people we broke up with, and have a more rose-colored and positive perception about them as time goes by.)
Now over this time of me doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching, and also reading your articles and watching your newsletters, I’ve realized she was a complete self-centered bitch! (Finally, you were honest with yourself.) Last month I finally deleted her phone number from my cell phone, and got all the shit that she gave me and put it into a box. (You must let go of your failures so you can move forward.) Of course, after doing all that, then I get a text message a few weeks later, go figure. (That’s what happens when you fully let go of things that no longer serve you.) Now after realizing how badly she treated me over those four years, and dumping me over the phone in an immature and heartless way for some guy she had been seeing, I wonder what I should do next? (Honestly? To hell with her. She is a dishonest cheater. She is only friends with benefits or open relationship material. Nothing will change if you go back to her. People don’t change, only become better versions of themselves.) When she was dumping me, I didn’t completely realize what was happening until the conversation ended. (Most men in your position have no idea or ever see it coming. Most men don’t understand women.) Before she dropped the bomb on me, she asked me ‘if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, would you still care about me and be my friend?’ Not knowing what was going on, I said ‘of course why wouldn’t I?’ Then after I said that she dropped the bomb on me. We talked for little bit longer, and then the conversation ended. (Yea, she needed to go see her new boyfriend. She stayed with you long after she lost respect for you. That is why she did not care and was so cold and callus. She had moved on after she lined up your replacement. Her interest in you was gone.) She was my first love.
I’ve come to terms that I really don’t need her in my life (Good for you!) and don’t care for her like I used, but I wish her no harm of course. When I got the text, I was in shock after 8 months of no contact, she contacts me. Strangely her text said: ‘I just want to let you know that I’m ok. I was not at work today. Thank God!’ When I first saw this text, I remembered her phone number so I knew it was from her, but was still in shock. The text seemed like she was talking to someone else. (More than likely it was a text she sent to everyone in her phone contact list. Not you specifically. So you must assume she was not contacting you specifically… unless she reveals her true intentions to you by you asking THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.) I know in your book and in your videos, you say not to ask advice from folks unless they’ve shown they have successful relationships, but I did run this past a friend of mine whom happens to be a woman, and she said that what my ex did is a way to see if I still care about her or there’s a possibility of rekindling something. She said that this is something her ex did, and she advised me to text back ‘Who’s this?’ to get under her skin. (She gave you great advice. She’s spot on. That response causes her to reveal more of her true intentions when you play dumb. She’s calling you. She’s chasing you… maybe. If it’s just a blast text to everyone, then you must admit she was not contacting you specifically. However, your girl friends response would have been the best way to handle it.)
Now at the time I didn’t realize why my ex texted me, until my friend told me that the reason probably why she texted me was because there was a shooting at her work. I didn’t know about this until she told me, and I confirmed it on the news. From what I last knew of my ex, she only worked there once a month. So in my mind it was like it took 8 months and a shooting at her work to finally contact me, but to only talk about something that was concerning her which she ended up not even being involved in anyway. (I’m thinking it’s a blast text to her contact list and not you specifically.) I’m glad that she didn’t get hurt or anything, that much I’m thankful for, it was nice to know. But come on Corey, it took all this for her to contact me? I mean I’m not selfish, but she didn’t even wish me happy birthday in November. (Because she does not care about you and she’s not a giver anyways. She’s a low quality woman who does not respect you.) Her track record never was good with that anyway. Shouldn’t she be contacting her new boyfriend??
I did not respond back to her at all, not even what my friend wanted me to say. (You followed your gut, that’s the best voice to ALWAYS LISTEN TO. “When you trust in yourself, you’re trusting in the same wisdom that created you.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer.) I have not heard anything more from the ex as well. I think she got the hint that I don’t give a shit anymore even after she tricked me when she was dumping me. (That further confirms she was not contacting you specifically, and are over reacting to this non event. However, have your friends response ready to use if she does contact you again.) Honestly, I feel much better since I received that text message from her and feel I can now move on. (Good, trust that and listen to that voice.) But I can’t help but feel that maybe I should’ve responded back to her at least in this situation along with what my friend wanted me to say. I feel guilty. I never would’ve guessed that this event happened until my friend brought it to my attention. I guess I feel I came off as a heartless jerk which I really am not. (Relax, it means nothing. If she really wanted to contact you again, she would have done more than that lame text.) She is my first love. I do give a shit about her like I said when she was dumping me, but I wanted to show her my world does not revolve around her. Corey, I feel like such an idiot, but at the time I felt like I was doing the right thing for myself at the least. (YOU DID THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU!!! Don’t second guess yourself or your gut, EVER!!! What’s done is done, let it go.) My friend said if I would’ve asked who it was, it would’ve had a bigger impact and showed her that I had moved on. My family thinks this as well, but I’m confused, what do you think man? (No reason to be confused, but you are learning something… I guarantee that! You made the right decision. If she really wants you, she will contact you again.) I am still reading your book for second time around, (You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) but almost done! I bought your CD’s too. Still kind of having trouble trying to apply this stuff in my life. I want to actually start meeting and dating hotter and better quality women like you say man. It’s like I do have the determination to better myself, but for some reason I’m still freaking nervous I guess. (“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ~ Confucius. Take it one day at a time and simply try to get a little better each day. Inch by inch. Millimeter by millimeter. Focus on meeting new women, and learning to master the three different methods of seducing women. Learn to use the best pickup lines ever, and to be ready with the best comebacks ever!)
Hope all is well. Thanks again man.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~ Chinese Proverb