In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who was originally very skeptical about what I teach. He originally assumed my book was a scam. After watching numerous videos on my YouTube Channel, he finally read my book. He says it was the first book he has ever read cover to cover in his entire life. A few years ago, his wife said she was going to leave him. He begged and pleaded and started counseling with her in order to save his marriage. He says he gave in to her every need. Then a year later, she threatened to leave again. He got pissed and took a different approach. He told her to leave, and that he would drive the moving truck once she packed her stuff. She changed her tune and stayed. He says, he realized counseling and marriage therapy was only 10-20% of the solution after finding my work. He attributes most of his problems to the fact that he was a “bitch” for their entire ten-year marriage. Things are getting better, but they only have sex on scheduled “sex days” that they have agreed to in advance. She usually rejects him if he tries to seduce her on unscheduled days. She occasionally throws in a bonus sex day every now and then, but he wants it more, and she has all the power. He asks me what he can do to cause her to want it more and be more spontaneous. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
I am the guy who said I would never send one of these emails. The guy who thinks all of this shit is 99% scams. I saw your videos on YouTube, and was intrigued, and you weren’t pushing your watchers to buy a bunch of stuff, which is awesome. (I give everything away for free. You can even read my book for free by subscribing to my newsletter on my website. What I teach works. I teach truth. If you apply the things I teach, it will work for you.) Then, I got sick of you telling everyone to read your book 15 times, so I read it for the first time. And I have NEVER read an entire book in my life, so congrats on being the one book I popped my cherry for. Yeah I know, LAME. (“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.” ~ Socrates)
Anyway, to the point… my wife said she was going to leave me a couple years ago, and like a bitch, I begged her to stay, started counseling and gave in to her every need. She did it again the following year, and I got pissed and took a different approach. I told her to leave, and I would drive the moving truck after she packed her shit. (She was basically saying she was not going to participate in the marriage anymore.) Then the weirdest thing happened, she changed. Ever since that happened, we are working on things and moving forward, ever so slowly. (Women sometimes bluff to test.) Recently, I found your videos and book, and I realized my problem: I have been a bitch our entire relationship, ten years. As I have grabbed a tight hold on my nuts recently, I am absolutely amazed on how your techniques are the absolute way to make things happen in a relationship. It is truly amazing, and I realize now that marital counseling, opening up and sharing your feelings and all that bullshit is about 10-20 percent of the solution in a relationship. (You have to act like a man and be in your masculine energy.) She thinks counseling has helped. She doesn’t realize yet, I just stopped being a bitch, and suddenly things got better.
Okay, finally here is problem number one I can’t seem to figure out, and I would like an opinion from you — preferably one of your, “get off your ass and make things happen” opinions. My wife seems to always control the amount of sex we have, when, and where. Before our problems, we averaged two times a week, on designated days, so that we were both happy. (How can you be spontaneous and fun if you schedule sex?) There was consistency for me and planned days, so she wouldn’t get distracted, and I was happy to get it that often. Since our blow up a couple years ago, she has cut it down to one or two times on designated days. (She obviously does not feel heard and understood. Watch my article and video, “How To Communicate With Women Effectively.” It sounds like you aren’t courting her properly.) Since putting your techniques in place, every now and then she will throw in a bonus day, because she likes my masculine ways now. Hallelujah! However, if I approach her to have sex on an out of “plan” date/time, she always blows me off and says wait until Monday, or whatever day is next. (Make a date. Take her out, and make her feel special. Seduce her.) I am not talking sex-talk all the time, like I used to, or being a perv anymore, which has helped, but this is something I just can’t seem to take control of. And whenever she wants it, I am always down to fuck, so she has total control. I am a dude for crying out loud, and can’t say no to the crack cocaine called SEX.
Help me Corey-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!!! (I can tell by reading this, your simple problem is that you’re not dating and courting her. Seduction and having sex should come in the context of a date. The courtship never ends.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women want to be heard and feel like they are understood. When a man does this successfully, her legs open. When she does not feel heard and understood, the legs close. There is no on/off switch for women to make them ready to have sex like robots. Women know that when men really care for them, they will make the effort to plan a fun date, take care of the reservations, schedule things, arrange a babysitter for the kids and handle all of the details so all they have to do is show up, look hot and be prepared to have a fun time, while letting the men lead the date. The best and most simple plan for men to follow in order to make their women happy, feel heard and understood and to make a successful seduction possible is to hangout, have fun and hook up. The seduction takes place at the end of a fun date. Women tend to fall in love and get turned on through their ears and men through their eyes. Take the time to make your lady feel special, beautiful, like she’s worth your time and effort, and she will happily and enthusiastically fulfill your every wish in the bedroom.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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