How to get women to start doing all of the chasing and pursuing after you start dating and hanging out to eliminate the possibility of rejection forever.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for a few years since his four-year relationship with his college sweetheart ended due to making several mistakes and displaying lots of unattractive behavior. He cherry picked my book, How To Be A 3% Man, and my videos for a while and got inconsistent success.
However, once he became a serious student, he met his current girlfriend, and he details how she did all the chasing after they started hanging out. He also has Tourette’s Syndrome that used to hold him back, but he also overcame that limiting belief and he describes how my work has helped to improve all areas of his dating, personal and professional life. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This guy had a little bit of a disadvantage compared to most people. He’s got Tourette’s Syndrome, but none of the the verbal tics. What’s interesting is he grew up in a good family. His parents have been together for twenty five years. He says they have an amazing relationship, just like Tom Brady and Giselle. He said his dad is totally alpha.
But what’s interesting is he’s been immersed in the same culture as the rest of us. And so, when you see the same movie and television themes where men are supposed to chase women until women basically relent and throw in the towel, even though he grew up in that family, he was influenced by this stuff in our culture that messed him up, basically, and caused him to make a lot of mistakes. But then, eventually, he found his way to How To Be A 3% Man, and then later my second book, Mastering Yourself.
He’s been with this girlfriend about eight or nine months now, and he’s doing amazing, so I thought it was a great success story. Plus, he goes through what he did. He talks about his college sweetheart that he did a lot of things wrong with, turned her off, I guess this was after they graduated, and he got dumped. So, for those of you that are suffering and you feel like, “It’s never going to get better, I’m never going to find anybody else,” here’s a guy that did it.
And he had a lot of advantages coming from a family, but the culture, the movies and TV, it just messed him up. But obviously, he found my work, turned that around, and on top of that, he had Tourette’s — not as as bad as some people have it, but he admits there was a time in his life where that was a limiting belief. He thought, “Who’s going to want me? I’ve got Tourette’s.” So, for all you guys going, “Oh, girls don’t want to talk to me,” and you’re totally healthy, it’s like, come on. You’ve got no excuses.
Hope all is well! I wanted to write you and tell you my success story and how I transformed my dating life by discovering your book. I was in a 4-year relationship in college, I stopped being ‘the man’ I was when I met her in college and did many things wrong, causing her to lose attraction to me, which led me to break up with my last girlfriend.
And so, what I like about that is it’s positive self reflection. He admits, “Hey, I screwed up. I did things that were really unattractive and obviously turned her off.” Because until you can admit your own mistakes, you really can’t learn from them and transcend them and overcome them. So, you kind of have to humble yourself and recognize when things aren’t working. Like Confucius said, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”
I was single for about a year and a half, went on dozens of dates, and just wasn’t getting the results I wanted. I’m a 25-year-old software engineer and I have Tourette’s Syndrome. In the past, I’ve always been the nice guy when it comes to dating. I would try to please girls, and I basically followed the same story they show you in movies or books, that the guy chases the girl until she throws in the towel. That was sorta me. That’s what I thought girls wanted.
That’s what they show you in the movies and TV shows all the time, and it always shows that it works. But you do that in real life, and you’ll get hit with a restraining order. Not a good way to go. But yet Hollywood keeps pumping out this delusional nonsense.
I discovered your book in January, 2020, read it once, watched some videos then read it a few months later again. I was going on dates and nothing was working. I was doing everything wrong, (texted girls right out of my life, was too needy, not mysterious, focused on relationships vs. just having fun). I knew I needed to change my ways, so I did.
Notice what he does next.
I knit picked at your book for a while, tried a few things, had some success but still failed, because I didn’t truly know your material.
So, he read it once and then cherry picked looking for the quick, easy solution. A lot of people do it. And this is how the mass of people around us are. They want a quick fix. They don’t want to hear that success is a process. They don’t want to hear that things take a decade or more to really get to the point where you can see some major successes in your life.
They don’t want to hear that, because, again, the movies and TV says that, hey, all of a sudden you wake up one day and you’re rich, or else luck just happens, and everything goes well after that. You’ve got remember, all of that stuff is fantasy, and it’s usually written by men and women who didn’t experience what they want. And so, in make believe world, the way they see the world, they write about this and everything works in the movies and TV, because that’s the way they wished it worked in real life. But it doesn’t. And you can’t help but be influenced by this kind of stuff.
You know, what’s interesting is I started watching a movie the other night, and I was just thinking. It was one of those movies where somebody gets kidnapped, and then people are trying to chase down the kidnappers. It’s like, the movies have done so much. It’s the same story over and over again, written in a slightly different way, different location. But it’s like the same thing. It’s like, I can’t even watch this crap anymore.
And so, I very rarely even watch movies, because it’s the same recycled four or five different kind of plot lines, and everybody is coming up with a new take on it. And it’s just not exciting, it’s not compelling, it’s not interesting. And I ended up watching maybe 35-40% of the movie and just turned it off, because it sucked. And I don’t really watch much stuff like that.
I’ve never watched TV shows or any of those things. I actually stopped watching TV for the most part when I was in my late 20s, because I was so focused on working and being productive. Because I came to recognize it was just such a huge waste of time. And plus, back then, even now to this day, when you watch regular TV, there’s so many commercials in it, it’s just unwatchable. And on top of that, the content’s not very good.
So, you can imagine when your kids grow up and you go through adulthood and you spend multiple decades watching all this fantasy and make believe, it’s going to reshape your mindset. It’s going to change your self perception and how you look at the world. And it’s going to emotionally anchor you to things that are negative, and will actually cause you to move away from the things you want in life and move towards the things that you don’t want.
Because naturally, just like Aristotle said, “People do more to avoid pain than they do to gain pleasure.” And when you watch a bunch of this garbage make believe, it’s not in any way, shape or form based in reality. It changes the way you think in a very messed up way, and this has a negative impact on your ability to move through life and get the things you want in your personal and your professional life.
So you’ve got to really think about the kind of media that you’re consuming, because a lot of it is just not good for you. It actually is detrimental to your success in achieving your goals and your dreams, because it literally causes you to think a certain way, especially when you see the same theme over and over and over again. Like I said, most movies are just unwatchable garbage.
I matched with my 10/10 girl on Tinder in February, 2020, (who is now my current girlfriend).
But it didn’t start off all amazing there. You think, “Oh wow, okay.” There was some intermission here, which is interesting, but it also worked to his advantage, because it created attraction in her towards him.
We briefly texted in February, I set up a definite date, (one thing I did right), but we never met up, (I believe I cancelled on her). One of us followed each other on Instagram, and we stopped talking all in about a few days’ time. I did a few things right here without understanding at the time what I did and why it worked – now I know. I basically pulled away, remained mysterious as I stopped talking to her, and it made her curious and wonder about me and cancelled our date. Covid happened and everything shut down.
On Bumble on May 1, 2020, that same girl and I matched again.
Now, notice what he says to her after she replies to him, because you can tell she’s got a high interest, but most importantly, she has a good attitude. Because what he responded back to her, if a girl’s got a healthy self-esteem, she’s going to laugh and think it’s funny. But if she’s insecure or she’s kind of an asshole, she’s going to get butt hurt and upset and then disappear.
And what you want is a girl that’s easy-going, has got a good attitude, doesn’t get butt hurt over the things you say, and when you make fun of her and tease her, she’ll just turn it right back around and roast your fucking ass, which is the way it should be. You should be able to roast each other’s asses. If you ever look at your guy friends, you roast each other all the time, savagely. And it’s all good fun. It’s never meant to be mean. And you want a girl that’s kind of the same way. When you tease her, she doesn’t get butt hurt. She doesn’t take it personally.
Life’s hard enough. You can’t have somebody that’s so overly sensitive, you’ve got to walk on eggshells. Especially like a lot of the people on the left are these days. Jesus Christ, you can’t say anything without them getting offended and butt hurt. And now Dr. Seuss is canceled. Fucking nutty. These people are fucking nutty. Commie propaganda has a strong effect on the weak minded. All of this participation trophy bullshit and, “Oh, we don’t want people to get upset.”
Life is savage. Nature is savage. I live in Florida and there’s lots of things in Florida that will kill you and eat you. Alligators will happily eat your baby when they’re hungry, and they don’t care. They’re just looking for a snack. Like, “Oh, it’s a baby,” it’s like, “No, it’s food, it’s easy, I’m taking it.” They’ll eat your dog. Snakes will eat you. We’ve got these big giant anacondas, they get so damn big they could easily swallow human whole. But I digress. So notice what he says to her.
And she messaged me first saying, “we should hangout sometime.”
Obviously you can tell by her response, she’s really into him. That’s what you want. Like “Hell yeah, I’d love to see you.” I mean, she literally brought it up.
And I replied, “Oh…. you again” to give her a hard time.
A woman with a good self-esteem is going to laugh and think that’s funny. Women that are insecure are going to get butt hurt and get mad and may just ghost you. And so, when you say things like that and they disappear, you shouldn’t feel bad like, “Oh, I got rejected.” It’s like, no. You turned off a thin skinned leftist. You don’t want that.
She loved it, I kept texting really short, and she invited me over to a house party one night she was having. I got on top of your book and videos ASAP again and read your book 12 times in 3 weeks’ time. She was wanting to hang out almost every day, so I read your book when I would come back home to my parents’ house the next day. She did all the chasing after we started hanging out.
It’s the way it’s supposed to be. In all the old movies, that’s what you see. You go back to “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed, or “Charade,” one of my old school favorites with the great Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. What a woman she was. But it’s just beautiful, the interactions on screen. It’s just women chasing men’s attention and validation.
That’s the way it works. If it wasn’t, women wouldn’t be doing their hair and their makeup and wearing tight fitting outfits that show their cleavage. It’s like, they’re driven to seek attention and validation from men. But back to what I was talking about earlier, what you see in movies and TV is the exact opposite. All that feminist nonsense that has just permeated the school system, and it’s in Hollywood. It’s just garbage. It’s not based on reality. It’s not based upon the way God made men and women. That shit doesn’t work.
I basically just implemented everything you taught, never brought up dating. Literally, all we did was hangout, have wine, and hook up.
What’s the formula? Hangout, have fun and hook up. Pretty simple. There’s a reason the KISS principle exists — KISS: keep it simple, stupid.
Not even a formal dinner date for like 3 months. She would always ask me the next time to hangout before I even left. I wouldn’t hardly text her since when I left, I already knew when we were hanging out next.
Makes it pretty easy.
Within a month, we got asked by one of her friends of a friend’s parents if we were dating while swimming, and I said nothing, looked at her…
You notice how he just let her answer that question.
…and she said “we’re seeing each other but nothing official.”
Again, he remained mysterious. Why answer a question like that? Besides, ladies first.
Later that night, she asked me what we were and I said “what do you mean?”
And she said, “Well, I want you to be my boyfriend,” and so I asked her out. This was a month in. About 55 days in, she told me one night in bed that she loved me.
Shocked! Shocked this happened.
We’re coming up on our 9 months anniversary in a few days!
Well, congratulations, dude.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. You’ve completely changed not only my dating life but my whole life. I’m currently reading Mastering Yourself.
Obviously, my second book, a book on self-reliance. Now, here’s what I like. He talks about his dad here. So, despite growing up in this family where he had an alpha male as a father and an alpha female in a very happy relationship, he was still influenced in a negative way by the cultural garbage from the cultural Marxists that run Hollywood.
My Dad’s an alpha male. Him and my mom have been married for 25 years and have the best relationship, (they’re like Tom Brady and Gisele). He’s been watching me for years make mistakes and giving me advice to basically be like what you teach.
You should listen to your dad more, dude. He obviously knows what he’s talking about. And he sent a picture of his mom and dad. I could tell just by his dad’s body language and physiology, he’s the fucking man. He’s the man of the household.
He’s one of those guys that is just naturally alpha – he doesn’t understand how everything he does makes him alpha – he just owns it.
I have late onset Tourette’s, (no verbal tics, just some motor tics), and I thought for a while that no one would really want to date me. Wow, how wrong I was.
It’s like guys that go off to war and they get wounded. Chicks love scars. They find it sexy. If you own it and you’re not bothered by it, women won’t be bothered by it. That’s where being humble and not taking yourself too seriously comes into play. It’s very attractive. Vulnerability is power when displayed the right way.
Thank you again. I can’t get enough of your content. It’s put me in the best spot of my life, both personally and professionally.
I also have been making green smoothies and they are fantastic.
Good job, dude. Just doing a green smoothie, “Corey’s Green Alkaline Smoothie,” one a day for 30 days. You’ll notice a difference in your skin and how you feel. Just try that for 30 days. Do the 30-day challenge.
When is your next book coming out? (Come on man!)
So where we’re at with the book of quotes, it’s done. All of the recording is done. We just did the final corrections on editing some of the audio tracks. So, we’ve ordered the hard cover proof and the different paperback proofs to just make sure the binding and everything fits. So, maybe in the next month or two it should be out. I’m not in a rush to get it out, let’s put it that way.
Obviously, I get on my assistant about it, and I want to enjoy the process. I’ve already actually got the second book of quotes, it’s done as well, but we’re taking our time with that. So, I’ll probably release that one next year. I want to see how the first one does. And then, you know, any feedback. We can obviously modify the second book of quotes. But each book of quotes is going to have about two hundred and fifty quotes in it. So, I’ll read the quote and I’ll do some free styling and stuff, so I think you guys or really like it.
Obviously, I don’t really get into much politics in there. I’m sure people on the left are going to be happy to hear that, but whatever. So I’ll let you know. But we’re getting close to being able to have it released. Like I said, we’re just waiting on the proofs, and then it should be ready pretty soon.
Adding some pictures here with my amazing girlfriend, and my parents when we were in Punta Cana.
He included pictures, which I’m not going to share to protect the innocent, but his girlfriend’s pretty cute. She actually looks like a girl who used to work for us back in the day when we were in real estate.
Hope you have an awesome year!
Good job, dude. Welcome to the 3% Club. Here’s to you. Here’s your family, your parents, mom and dad. Listen to your fucking dad a little bit more when he gives you advice, obviously.
If you have a problem or a challenge in your personal or your professional life, and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The reason why most people don’t have what they really want in life is because of the story that they tell themselves about their capabilities, limitations and potential. Whatever you believe about yourself will determine what actions you are willing to take to move your life forward and what actions you will avoid taking to prevent experiencing potential pain, failure and rejection. Your grandest goals and dreams usually involve doing a lot of things that may seem unpleasant and undesirable but are essential to overcome and master in order to reach your full potential. Your fear of something that is necessary to succeed, but potentially unpleasant, is always worse than actually experiencing what you fear. Fear is an illusion that only exists in the mind. Overcoming what you fear helps to rewire your brain and mindset, so you can overcome even greater fears and challenges in the future. The only way out of problems is to go through, over or around them.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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