She Doesn’t Have Feelings For Her Boyfriend & Wants Me!

Things to consider when your hot coworker wants you instead of her boyfriend.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer in Sweden whose hot coworker of several years just informed him that she doesn’t have feelings for her boyfriend anymore, but has feelings for him. He’s always wanted her, but told her he won’t get involved unless she’s single. He wonders what to do now because he never thought he’d have a chance.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Doesn’t Have Feelings For Her Boyfriend & Wants Me!”.

So sometimes these things are going to happen in life. You’re just going along, you’re working keeping your head down, trying to do a good job. And one of your hot female coworkers who you always thought, “Man, she’s really hot. But hey, she’s got a family with a dude.” Imagine meeting a girl like that if she was single. And then you never think anything of it. You’re nice, you’re friendly, but you’re not trying to hit on her because you’re a high character man, hopefully.

And then one day, she basically tells you that she doesn’t have any feelings for her boyfriend. And not only does she not have feelings for her boyfriend, but she has feelings for you. So that’s where this guy is at. So he’s like, “I’m not going to be the other guy. I’m not going to gonna cheat. I’m not interested in having an affair with you. If for some reason you happen to be single or you’re single at some point through your own choosing and I’m still single at the time we could go out on a date.

That’d be a lot of fun. But I’m not getting involved as long as you’re with whoever.” Now, if you’ve got somebody who is married, maybe they own real estate together, then ideally you’re going to get a lot of hot and cold behavior. If you get involved with a woman that’s got kids with a guy or she lives with them still, or they have a house together that they’re trying to sell or they’re going through a divorce, it’s better to have somebody that’s moved out and moved on. They’re either completely done with their divorce or it’s going to be done soon.

Not something where she just left last week and she plans on divorcing him, but they still live together, and they do all the family holiday things together. Because when some women, low character women will lie and tell you there’s nothing going on. Just like a lot of dudes have done that historically. They’re married. They complain, “Oh, my wife sucks, but she’s real fragile emotionally. I can’t leave her right now. But next year. And then the year after that, or when the kids finish school”, it’s always some excuse.

And then seven years later, the woman realizes he’s never going to leave his wife. He’s just bullshitting her. So people do those things. You’ve gotta look at what they do. And if they’re not single and ready to mingle don’t be the other guy. Because if you start having an affair with somebody like this, what’s her incentive to leave? And then now you’re basically risking a Hialeah divorce. But so far, this guy is holding himself and the woman accountable and he’s like, “Nah, it’s not going to happen.”

Now imagine if every guy was like that in society. There really wouldn’t be any cheating because guys would be like, “I’m not going to get involved. And at the end of the day, if you’re willing to cheat, you would cheat on me. So I don’t even want you if that’s the case.” And because men are supposed to set the standard, it’s up to us. But obviously, any of you guys that live in South Florida, or you heard me talk about Hialeah divorces, which pretty much seems like every night you turn on the evening news.

Like usually when I end up seeing it, it’s because there may be a game ended, a hockey game, or maybe a football game ended, and then the news comes on, and then you read about a murder suicide in Hialeah. A guy finds out his wife’s cheating, or she left him for some coworker. It’s just not worth it. That’s why you would want somebody that’s got a clean situation if you’re a single dad. You’ve got kids or you’re dating a single mom it’d be a good thing, you’d be like The Brady Bunch.

Because she can obviously relate. Especially if you like her kids, her kids like you, her kids like your kids, everybody likes each other. That really makes things nice because The Brady Bunch was it was awesome. But the real world is kind of messy and sometimes people don’t like each other. Certain kids don’t like other kids or the girls kids don’t like the new man. There can all be all kinds of things. You want to have good vibes. Easy going, easy to get along with, no drama.

So let’s see what’s going on here, because so far it looks like the guy is kind of maintaining a James Bond kind of attitude towards it, which you should. Operational security. The only way anybody finds out anything is if the woman is opening her mouth. And then if you get confronted, you’re like, “I’m innocent, child of God. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’ve been reading the tabloids too much. I think you need to find a hobby. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t confirm or deny anything. I’m an innocent child of God. I would never do anything like that.”

Viewer Email:

Dear Coach,

I’m a 40-year-old guy from Sweden, and I’ve read How to Be a 3% Man four times. I know, Coach, 4 times isn’t enough.

Well, good students read it 10 to 15 times. And at the end of the day, you’re sending me about an email about a woman who obviously likes you and you like her, but she’s got a boyfriend. And apparently, I think he said he’s got kids with him, too. So she’s not really single and ready to mingle. And so in that case, it’s nice when somebody comes on to you, you’re like, “Hey, if you were single and things are different, we’d be hanging out and having fun and seeing what happens.

But I’m not going to get involved. I’m not interested in an affair. I want a woman that’s loyal. Because at the end of the day, if you’re willing to cheat on your current boyfriend because you’re not happy, well, if we were ever together and you weren’t happy, you’d cheat on me. And I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. And I want to be with a woman that that’s okay in her world. So hard pass. But hit me up if it doesn’t work out. If you ever moved out or officially divorced, we’ll see what happens.”

I’m working on it, trust me! I’ve been single and active on Tinder for quite some time and have honestly had much more success with women than I expected.

Well, I mean in the West here, in the United States, 74% of all Americans are overweight or obese. And most guys are not going to read a book like mine. They’ll just continue flailing around. And so if you act relatively masculine and you’re decently fit and in shape, you take relatively good care of yourself. You’re gonna have plenty of choices and options, especially when you act like a man instead of a beta. Women are starved for masculinity.

Plenty of matches, dates, and women showing interest. I know a lot of that comes from applying what I’ve learned from you, not chasing, setting dates instead of becoming a texting buddy.

Well, a lot of women bitch. Like, “Well when is this guy going to get around to asking me out?” Because he just did there and they hesitate and they waste their time. If you hesitate, you’ll masturbate.

And letting women come toward me. I’ve dated several women, and there’s actually one woman I’ve been seeing for several months who I’ve recently started developing feelings for. So I wasn’t exactly desperate for female attention when this happened. I’m a manager in a fairly large organization. A woman who is now 28 started working there a few years ago and is also a manager. Neither of us reports to the other. Coach, this woman has basically been my dream girl since she started.

Well, been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. It’s gonna happen. You’re gonna work in a world with men and women that are high achieving, you’re going to find cute girls that like you. And sometimes they’re going to be taken.

She’s a 10/10 to me physically, and I really like her personality too. The problem? She has a boyfriend and a family.

So she’s not available. That’s why you’ve got to keep dating. Luckily, I think. I guess he said he’s got a girl he’s been seeing. So that helps but he sounds like he’s a little sweeter on the girl at the office. But again, she’s taken.

Because of that, I never seriously considered pursuing her.

Well, you shouldn’t be pursuing her anyways. You should be letting women pursue you. After you start the initial, I should say the courtship, the initial courtship, you kind of roll the ball down a hill a little bit.

I may have unconsciously flirted with her a little over the years because I’ve always found her attractive.

Well, you’re going to treat all women the same anyways.

But in my mind she was unavailable. End of story. Or so I thought. Recently, we attended a couple of management days together, and I noticed her becoming noticeably closer to me, seeking me out, sitting close, and finding reasons to be around me.

Well, women like to monkey branch. They like to line up the replacement guy before they get rid of the boyfriend. And unfortunately, in our society, most dudes are willing to fuck with a Hialeah divorce or risk a Hialeah divorce. Again, if it wasn’t true. We wouldn’t see it on the news all the time.

I noticed it but did nothing.

Well, that’s the right response. You act stupid. You act like you don’t notice. You don’t understand that she’s bumping into you or touching you because she likes you. You just got kind of dumb. Because again, she’s unavailable and married and you don’t want to risk it, it’s not worth it.

Shortly afterwards, we attended a larger work conference together, and that’s when subtle became considerably less subtle.

Well, he’s not doing anything, which, quite frankly, it makes her like you more. Indifference makes a difference. It works. Especially if every guy in the office is wanting to bang her and suddenly hitting on her and flirting with her, whereas you’re just nice and you’re friendly, you’re happy to listen to her shoot the shit, have a smoke break, whatever.

It’s like, how would you treat her if you were tired of fucking her? You’d be nice. She’d be friendly, but you’re not trying to give her any hints that you want to get back together or hook up or anything. You’ll still tease her every now and then because all women are kind of, we totted, which in a good way.

She spent a lot of time around me and repeatedly asked me to join her outside for cigarette breaks. Other colleagues noticed too. A friend later told me that several people had commented on our chemistry.

Well, maybe he’s not being so James Bond like.

And even joked that our organization had gotten itself a new couple.

See here, I’m like, look, she’s got a boyfriend. It’s like we just get along well. And at the end of the day, I can’t help it if women find me incredibly sexy, attractive, charming and interesting. It just happens. But nothing’s happening. She’s in a relationship. I don’t get involved in that.

During one of those cigarette breaks, I could tell she had something she wanted to say. Eventually she told me she no longer has feelings for her boyfriend. Then she told me she has feelings for me. Well, shit.

Those are his words.

This wasn’t some random attractive woman giving me attention. This was my unavailable dream girl of several years suddenly telling me the attraction was mutual. And I’ll admit it, Coach, that one got to me.

I’m sure she’s hot.

I’m completely clear about one thing. I’m not having an affair with her. I won’t ask her to leave him, influence her decision, or become her emotional support guy. Her relationship is her responsibility. If she stays, I stay out of it. But if she independently ends the relationship, becomes single, and still wants me? I absolutely want to see where this goes.

That’s the right attitude.

So Coach, what would you do?

I would do nothing. I would continue to hang out, have fun, and hook up with the other ladies like it sounds like you’re doing. Because at the end of the day, she’s not available and you’re looking for single and ready to mingle. And if she is still sleeping with her husband or her boyfriend in this case, what women will often do if they’re not getting the emotional and mental connection, guess what? That’s where you come in. You become part of the Frankenstein Boyfriend Project.

And then all you do is you take yourself out of circulation and you take your foot off the gas and start tapping the brakes a little bit in your personal life, thinking something’s going to come of it. But you have to remain the unattainable guy that is a challenge, the guy that she wants. But you’re like, “I’m not getting involved. It’s like, you’ve got a boyfriend. I told you, I don’t do that. And the more you talk about being okay with cheating, it’s like you’re just going to cause me to lose respect and interest in you anyways, and you’ll blow your chances.”

But you’ve got to do you. “If you’re willing to cheat on him, you cheat on me. And therefore that’s a deal breaker. And I would never get involved with you if you’re cool with that, that would be disappointing. Besides, you guys got kids. That’s not a good example for your kids. Don’t do it. Giselle did to Tom. If you’re unhappy, leave. Get your own place. Take some time to heal. And when you’re ready, hit me up. If I’m still single, we can go out on a date.”

But Coach, she’s my 10/10.

Well, it doesn’t matter. She’s taken.

A Swedish student who clearly hasn’t reached 3% yet and will keep reading.

Oh, I missed a sentence.

And please don’t just give me the “don’t shit where you eat” answer. I know, I know, we work for the same organization.

But Coach, she’s my 10/10.

A Swedish student who clearly hasn’t reached 3% yet and will keep reading.

That’s why it’s got to be her idea. And the fact she’s coming on to you is like, you’ve got you’re laying out your terms. These are your boundaries. You’re setting up front. It’s like, “I’m not crossing it. Don’t fucking try. The first time you try to kiss me or or grab my butt. It’s like, I’ll appreciate it, but I’ll lose all respect for you.” If you ever looked at; there was a Steve McQueen movie with Ann Margaret.

And one of his friends in the movie, I think he’s a poker player or something. He’s got a girlfriend that’s not very loyal, and she comes on to him. She kisses him then he makes out with her for a little bit and he takes his arm, he’s raising it up and he’s whacks her in the butt. And that’s as close as she ever gets to kissing him because he’s like, I’m not gonna be the guy that my buddy’s girl cheats with. And by the way, you just disqualified yourself. And he gave her a spanking. Cincinnati kid or something like that, maybe.

I can’t remember which movie it is. He spanks her butt, like, really hard, really light. It’s just funny because you see his hand rise up as they’re making out and out whack. It’s fucking great. That’s what should happen. I mean, I think she kissed him, if I remember right. And but he’s like, I’m not entertaining. I’m not fucking with that. So he reprimanded her. He let her get a little sample and then he says, you’re denied. So that’s the way you need to be.

But just remember, if she does that with you when she’s supposed or when she supposedly still with her guy, well, she would do that to you. 95% of the relationships that come from cheating end in cheating. And if you live in South Florida like I do, you live in Hialeah, you’re gonna find some dude who’s not gonna appreciate you mowing his his lawn and he’ll take matters into his own hands, and then you’ll end up on the 11 p.m. news. It’s not good.

So like I said, I’d keep dating, hanging out, and having fun with other women because you’ll be a challenge. And the more you don’t give in to her pursuing. The harder she’s gonna try, and the more you rebuff her advances. And then she’ll resolve that situation with that dude. And then you can choose if you want to go further with it, or just keep her as a fuck buddy, friends with benefits. It all depends on her behavior. Does she respect the boundary, or does she keep pushing you to let her violate it?

Because if she keeps letting you violate her or try to violate it, it doesn’t look too good for her character. A good woman will hear your boundaries. She will respect them, and she won’t try any shit. Unlike Ann, Margaret’s character did to Steve McQueen’s character. Again, I think it’s the Cincinnati Kid. It’s like Karl Malden, I think, was the friend that was like the other card player. It’s a good movie. You’ve got to see it. Type A Alpha. He’s going to do what he wants, but he’s not going to do his buddy’s girl.

He’s gonna give her a sample and fucking spank her in the booty. Sometimes women need a little bit of a spanking. It’s all in fun playfulness, though. So that’s what I would. There’s nothing else you can do at that point. And if she ever does become single, she’s going to let you know. And like I said, the more she has to work for you. I mean, that’s what really turns women on. It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

And the more she knows, you’re just living your life and maybe occasionally she hears about somebody that saw you out on a date and the girl was really beautiful. It’s like she will resolve her boyfriend’s situation really fast because she’ll start feeling like if she doesn’t, then some other girl may get you and then she’ll lose her chance.

Women like you way more if they think they’re more into you than you are into them. So all these feelings and everything, it’s like keeping to yourself, dude. But keep dating other women because she’s not available. But if she cheats on him she’ll cheat on you if she’s not happy. So there’s that. No Hialeah divorces allowed. This is a Hialeah divorce free zone.

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