She Dumped Me, But Couldn’t Give A Reason Why

What it really means when a woman dumps you but can’t explain a reason why.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 26 year old viewer who finally became exclusive with a woman he’d known since college. They hooked up on and off over the years. This year they finally became exclusive for 7 months. He just got dumped, but she couldn’t really give him a definitive reason why. I explain what really happened and what he can do to cause her to try to get him back.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Dumped Me, But Couldn’t Give A Reason Why”.

Or at least a reason that made sense or was definitive, or that she could really point to or put her finger on. I talk about this all the time. I assume this guy is fairly new. He’s 26, and he, I think both of them, yeah, they’re both 26. They were in a seven month relationship and then three weeks away, she basically kicked him to the curb. They’d known each other.

They met through mutual friends in college in 2019. So, I mean, it’s like seven years. And so they were kind of became friends with benefits. They were, you know, hooking up off and on. They graduated in 2022. Um, she pulled away and friend zoned him basically. And so she disappeared for a while, came back, they’d hook up for a while, she’d disappear.

Sometimes she would ghost him, but at the end of the day, she came back early this year and they started hooking up and he asked her to be exclusive and they became exclusive. But she’s just always vacillating in and out, and she just dumped him again. And it’s very emotional. She’s got these things going on, gives him all these logical sounding things.

But you have to understand about women is that they don’t care about what a great guy you are, or how long you known each other, or that you’re great on paper. What they care about more than anything is how they feel about you. And the problem was, this guy was too focused on how much he liked her, not really paying attention, that she’s not reciprocating clearly over pursuing, over investing.

And quite frankly, just not being enough of a challenge to where she felt like she had to win him over. Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And when you’re too easy, too available and you change your opinions to match hers, you put her in charge of the relationship. Like one of the things she kept mentioning is she just didn’t feel like he could lead her.

And so at times, he probably treated her a little too much like his mommy or his therapist, instead of just being the man in the relationship and letting her come to him at her pace. So it’s like she would kind of back off and then he would kind of pursue. And so he’s clearly been pursuing too much to the point where she never got to the point where she was crazy head over heels in love with him, and stayed there.

She may have felt it at times, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t sustainable. And she kept pointing the finger back at him and saying the same things. This is a really good email to go through, because it illustrates why the book is so effective when you actually apply it, because this is a kind of experience that most guys don’t know any better this is what happens. They meet a girl they really like and it’s just back and forth.

The girl’s hot and cold. She’s really into him and they spend a lot of time together, then she backs off. And they don’t really understand how women are kind of like cats, and you’ve just got to let them be. And when they don’t do that, it’s like running after a cat that’s just decided that it’s been enough time in your lap, getting petted and it wants to do something else, and then they run after you. So women love a guy that’s a challenge.

One of the things that I remember many years ago, I’m 25 years, 20, God. Closer probably 30 years ago when I first came across the late, great Doc Love. And what he talked about is like, this is going back to like the 60s and the 70s. He’d have little index cards and he would just go out. And the question he wanted to know was, why does a woman choose to stay with one guy versus another? Because it didn’t make sense.

There’d be guys that are fugly, they’re short, and they’re dating a woman that’s taller and just absolutely perfect. Smart makes more money in him, and she’s crazy about him. And then there’s other guys who got everything good looking, tall, handsome, successful. And yet they keep getting dumped and they keep hearing the same excuses. And when he would ask women, they were like, ah, he could never really get an answer that made sense.

But after I think he said he interviewed like 10,000 different women, just, you know, why did you choose this guy versus another? Tell me about the guys you really most into that you love the most. And what he started to hear. It was occasional because most women didn’t say it. Occasionally women would say things like, I like a guy that’s a challenge. And these are guys that didn’t do what they expected. They didn’t whine or diner, buy her flowers, do all the things a woman, because women say that’s what they want.

Then they get a guy that does all that stuff and they’re just like, yeah. He doesn’t move the needle for emotionally. And she can’t explain why. And you see, this guy just displayed too much beta behavior. He acted too much like a woman. He focused on the relationship and the commitment and locking her down instead of just creating the opportunity for sex to happen and let her be the one to convince him why he shouldn’t date or see anybody else.

Because quite frankly, when it’s been like this for many years, she should be the one calling you and trying to convince you to be exclusive. But the problem was, she always had the power and the relationship. Deep down, she knows he’s a good guy. She’s attracted to him physically, but his behavior is inconsistent. He vacillates back and forth. He can’t just let her be. He changes his opinions too much or he’s too much of a nice guy. It’s the kind of vibe that a woman says, hey, it’s not you, it’s me.

But at the end of the day, the bottom line is his behavior is not masculine consistently enough to where she admires him, she respects him and looks up to him and feels safe letting him lead her. He’s too fucking nice. So this is a common complaint amongst women, but most women can’t articulate it. And guys are like, man, I’ve got everything on paper, but yet I get dumped by these girls. And then the girls I’m really not that into or like crazy about me blowing up my phone.

And so you have to understand, it’s like a woman’s got to feel like she won you over. An old school movie from the 40s it’s really great. That does a good job of illustrating this, even though at times the character Jimmy Stewart’s character, George Bailey, he acts kind of douchey and weak at times, but mostly he’s doing his own thing. He’s planning to get out of Bedford Falls, where he came from. He doesn’t like the small town. He wants to see the world. He wants to build an empire.

And he’s just not interested in the women in the city, even though he’s like the most eligible bachelor in town. He’s a high character guy. Everybody looks up to him, admires him, respects him. They go to him for advice. And there’s this one particular girl, Mary Donna Reed’s character, that’s always had a crush on him since they were little. And in her mind, someday she’s gonna make George Bailey her man, her husband. And that’s what it’s about. And she pursues him.

She gets the women in the neighborhood to help get the two of them together because when they get together, there’s obviously attraction, there’s obvious chemistry. But he’s also like, you know, life intervenes, things happen. They’re about to kiss one time. Then a bunch of people show up, hey, your dad just had a heart attack. We got to go. And then boom, they don’t see each other for a few years. And then just life kind of intervenes.

And because of his father dying, he can’t really leave town. He’s got to wait for his brother to graduate school. And then he’s going to go see the world. And he just, like, kind of swears off women. He doesn’t want I know how you girls are. I don’t want the white picket fence. I’m getting out of this town. I don’t want anything to do with family and babies and living happily ever after.

And at the end of the day, she spends enough time around him, and he just, he can’t help but be taken by her and drawn to her because she draws him in with her beauty and her sex appeal. And at one time he says something, it’s really he’s got dick and he’s mean to her. And she starts crying and he’s just like, uh, waterworks.

He’s like, I was a dick. I went too far. He grabs her and then they get married. And, oh, I love you. And that’s kind of the way it is. Women are designed to get the guy’s attention. It’s their job to convince us to swear off all women and give everything to build something together with her. A man’s job in a courtship is to create the opportunity for sex to happen. Because at the end of the day, we see a girl we like, that’s what we’re thinking about for the most part.

And if you do that, because all relationships come from casual, hanging out, having fun and hooking up, that’s just that’s the way it works. And when you try to lock a girl down too much or too focused on a relationship or your future together, it’s you’re going to chase her out of your life. You’re not really being a challenge to her. And that’s this guy’s problem. But he sends a nice, detailed email that’s good to go through. So of course, the dogs are going crazy on the first floor. It sounds like it’s like right outside the door, I’m sure. So nothing can do about it.

Viewer Email:

Dear Coach Corey Wayne,

I’m 26, and my ex-girlfriend who is 26, ended our seven month relationship three weeks ago. We met through mutual friends in college in 2019 and became friends with benefits before graduating in 2022. She said she was falling in love with me, but after we moved home, she pulled away and said she only wanted friendship, which I declined.

Which is the right thing to do, is to decline her offer of friendship. So. But you could tell he liked her more than she liked him, and he really couldn’t tell. He didn’t know what was going on. And that’s the nice thing about the book. The chapter, “It’s All In The Numbers” will tell you what a woman does when her interest is really high. And things she’ll stop doing as her interest drops. And so when you notice those things disappear from her actions, then that’s the kind of thing that makes you recognize, “Uh oh. Maybe I’m displaying too much unattractive behavior. I’m caring too much. I’m pursuing too much. She’s getting a little distant.” And you got to be okay with just letting her be. So.

Over the next few years, we reconnected several times. The attraction was always strong, but she was inconsistent and eventually ghosted me after we briefly dated in 2024. When we unexpectedly saw each other again in August 2025, she broke down crying and apologized.

Because what’s going on is she knows he’s a good dude, but the problem is she doesn’t feel it, and she keeps that from him because she doesn’t want to say, yeah, you’re drying me up. You’re acting like a baby. Because women can’t articulate that. All I know is that they’ve got this great guy. They’d be perfect on paper, but the bad boy stimulates her more, turns her on more. And yet most women, because again, they don’t understand how attraction works. They don’t understand why, but the most important thing is they know they ain’t feeling it. There’s something missing.

We slowly reconnected through a mutual friend’s wedding events. After the wedding, she called me, and I asked her out. We started dating seriously in January 2026.

So she started pursuing him. So what should have happened is he should have let her continue reaching out and then he just makes dates. I mean, if he’d have come across my work then or maybe he did, but he wasn’t really taking it seriously, wasn’t really learning what was in the book. And so basically, every time they got back together, her attraction crept back up on her. And then he would revert back to the same behavior that turned her off, and it would end the same way it ended before. It’s just this time he got about seven months before she pulled the plug.

We spent nearly every weekend together, she said “I love you” first, and she excitedly told everyone when I made the relationship official in March.

Well, you shouldn’t have been doing that. It should have been her idea. She would have liked you a lot more if she was the one hinting at it and bringing it up. So again, think of George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life. It was 1947, I think, 46. Maybe even 49. But at the end of the day, Donna Reed, the girl, is trying to convince him that he should give up all those things he wants because life would be he can have a great little empire in the town of Bedford Falls with Sweet Mary and have a bunch of kids, which they do. I think they have like eight kids or something. Big house. There’s this old shitty rundown house and she’d always, “oh, we’ll buy that house, we’ll fix it up and we’ll fill it with love and babies.” And at one point in the movie, she says, “I want my babies to look like you, George.” I’m like, she’s just she knows what she wants. And like, that’s how women are. They’re like the Borg. If you hang back enough and let them be the ones to reach out. I mean, all women are designed to pursue a man in the beginning. We have to pursue them and start it. It’s kind of like pushing a snowball over the hill. Usually 2 to 3 weeks in. Usually when you start sleeping together, she starts reaching out, calling and texting. At that point, you can just start waiting to hear from her. And then when you do assume she’s ready to see you again and make the next date, and then that way you’ll go at her pace as her interest goes up, she calls you more, she texts you more, and you assume she’s reaching out. She probably wants to see you, so you make the get together happen. That’s it. That’s all you really got to do. Hang out, have fun, hook up, hang out, have fun, hook up. When she feels that she’s gonna make sure that she hints or brings up or lets you know to talk about the relationship topic, you’ve just got to ask good questions. So. But it’s got to be her idea. If it’s not her idea, you’re going to be going through what this guy went through. It’s just back and forth like a fucking yo-yo. You pursue a little too much. Her feelings go in the toilet, and then she goes, there’s something missing. There’s no chemistry. There’s no spark.

From April through June, she talked about marriage, children, and moving in together, but doubts started surfacing.

So the reason why she was she’s feeling it. Her interest is high at that point. But the interest started going down because he probably heard all that stuff. And then he once again started pursuing too much. And there also could be little things going on. Like he’s changing his opinions to match hers. He’s doing things she wants them to do, even though he doesn’t want to do it. Just because he doesn’t want to say no to her. Because he’s afraid to disappoint her, because he’s too much of a people pleaser. He doesn’t just say no or put her in her place, or she’s out of line. He’s just too soft and too squishy, like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. The other thing is, when she loses attraction, she starts picking at you, hoping that you’ll stand up to her and push back. But oftentimes what they’ll do is they’ll pick a fight over something innocuous because they’ve decided they don’t want to be in it anymore. And you’ll have this, you know, this blowout disagreement. And she’ll be like, well, that’s it. And then the guy was like, man, I should have never done that. I wish I would have handled it differently. It’s like it wouldn’t have mattered. She would have picked a fight about something else. So that’s what it looks like happens here.

She criticized things like my driving and how quickly I did the dishes and questioned whether I could “lead” her.

That’s really important. If a woman’s questioning whether you can lead her. In other words, what she’s really saying is you act too much like a girl. I don’t feel safe with you. I don’t feel like I can totally rely on you as a man. That’s what she’s basically saying.

She pushed me away at her sister’s wedding while dealing with an upset former fling she had ghosted.

So she’s also talking to another dude. I guess at some point maybe he’s at the wedding. I don’t really know, but she’s probably feeling something for that fling and feeling less attracted to this guy and looking for an exit. And so he’s looking at all these excuses and these emotional things going on in her life. But the reality is women don’t dump men they’re in love with. They dump men they’ve lost respect and attraction for her. And when she says, I don’t think you can lead me, that’s basically her saying, you’re just not manly enough. You’re not masculine enough. And again, 3% Man will explain how to do that, especially if you’re newer. It’s free to read the Members Area of the Website. Put your first name, your email address, create a password. It’ll open up right in your web browser, and you can start reading it. And then you’ll understand what I’m talking about because if you’re having the same problems that I used to have, you’ve got to learn this stuff. You’ve got to learn what’s attractive, what’s unattractive. And it takes time to implement this because you got to learn the balance between pursuing too much, which this guy was clearly always doing and not pursuing enough and being too much of a cold fish. And so he clearly, this time around hung back enough to where it’s center Interest to the point where she’s talking about kids in the future. But his behavior was inconsistent, and so her interest dropped. And then once it dropped, she was no longer feeling it and probably wondering like, why? Why do I feel differently? He’s a great guy, but why don’t I feel the same way I did a few months ago?

She was also deeply hurt when I didn’t drive her to the airport, despite already having a ride.

Yeah, she’s just picking a fight at this point.

She held concerns in until emotional blowups. Each time I opened her up, we talked through everything until I heard the, “I’m so glad we talked. I love you.” That was followed by intimacy and repair, so I thought we were resolving things. Looking back, her doubts never went away.

So I would assume just by the fact that he’s doing that, that he came across my work at some point and tried to implement it, but he still was just he cared too much. He cared more about her than she did about him. And he kept communicating that. Women want to get your attention and validation. They want to feel like they won you over and you were a challenge, and this guy was just too easy.

July is when everything fell apart. Over 4th of July weekend, she didn’t sleep much for two days, felt withdrawn, avoided affection, and criticized me.

I mean, at the end of the day, why she’s poking at you is because of the weakness. She resents it. She resents that you’re not consistently masculine enough to where she feels safe to just let you lead everything. You’re just still acting too much like a chick. And so here’s the important thing.

She admitted she hadn’t felt right in her own skin, then apologized for hurting me and ruining our plans.

In other words, she knew she wasn’t treating him nice. But at the end of the day, her feelings are her feelings. And that’s what matters to a woman. It doesn’t matter about what a great guy you are, how good you look on paper, or that you known each other for seven years. Or that a couple of months ago she was feeling like she wanted to get married and now she just wants to get away. So that’s indicative of a loss of interest, romantic attraction and respect due to unattractive or too much unattractive behavior.

This was the first time she pushed me too far and I let her know about it, which made her feel guilty. Two days later, her company had layoffs, and her work best friend was fired. She became so overwhelmed, anxious, and emotional (I cannot explain just how much this affected her. It sent her into a low that she never seemed to recover from). For about a week straight she was crying and overwhelmed. She still couldn’t figure out why she felt so off but she repeatedly apologized for mistreating me.

See, this is her just feeling really guilty and deep down on a breakup’s coming. I don’t want to do it. He’s not going to understand and I don’t understand. I’ll explain it to him.

Insisted her feelings for me weren’t the problem.

Well, they are definitely the problem. It’s another version of it’s not you, it’s me. So her feelings just aren’t there because he’s just not letting her be and letting her come to him. She’s not the one trying to win him over. So you can tell he’s constantly focusing on, hey, why don’t you like me as much? What’s the problem? He’s trying to use logic and reason to fix her low interest, instead of just letting her be, and being mysterious and hanging back and backing off till she gets to the point where she’s doing 95 and even 100% of the pursuing. If she’ll like most women will allow it. They’ll like it better that way, even though they might occasionally complain about it, they like it. Again, women like a guy that’s a challenge, and he’s just a fucking pushover. That’s why she says she doesn’t feel like he can lead her.

And said she wanted to fight for our relationship.

Well, look at all the things she’s saying. She’s saying the right things. But what her actions going to show.

She believed she needed to heal from her past if this is going to work.

So again, she’s trying to figure out what’s the reason for my feelings for you being low. Oh, it’s something in the past. Again, because women don’t understand how attraction works. And the guys that don’t understand this is the kind of thing that’ll drive a dude nuts is like trying to figure this out. Because, as he said, I thought we were making progress. Then it goes right back the other way again.

After that week of an emotional crash, we got together and had a great intimate night. She still seemed exhausted when I saw her. I remember thinking “she still isn’t back to herself”. The next morning I left some clothes at her place, and she texted saying she loved me and was glad I left the clothes because she could smell them. Despite a stressful week and a half, I thought that was a sign of moving forward. The next 4 days were full of long work and family/social obligations for her.

And that just kind of sounds like I really wanted to see her, but she was too busy to see me because of her other commitments. Again, he’s trying to get her attention all the time. He’s like running after her. Pay attention to me, mommy. He’s running after the cat, trying to pick it up and put it in its lap instead of just saying, oh, hey, well, when you miss me, hit me up, babe. And just let her be, and go hang out with your friends, go to the gym, go do other things. But instead he’s like, “ah, is she gonna dip again? What’s going on?” Because, you know, he’s not feeling comfortable at this point. He’s feeling like, fuck, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going here.

On July 21^st, I told her I felt disconnected after weeks of suppressing my needs and giving her space and just wanted to see her more. We had only seen each other two times this month.

You really can’t do that. You’re sounding like a girl. This is your problem. This is how I know you’re displaying too much unattractive behavior. You care too much. You care more about her than she does about you. And you’re overcommunicating and over validating your interest in her. It’s a scientific fact women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. And you’re just not backing off enough, dude, you’re just you’re acting like a little needy boy that needs an attaboy from mommy. And if you treat your girlfriend like your mommy or your therapist, you’re going to dry her up.

She started crying when I said that and it triggered the breakup.

Yeah. Because at the end of the day, that’s like where she says, oh, I can’t give you what you want. Women say that a lot. I just can’t give you what you want. That’s their way of saying, hey, you’re way more into me than I am into you. And I just can’t feel the same way and it’s not happening. And I don’t know why. Again, because women can’t explain it. But at the end of the day, I know why. And it’s because of too much unattractive behavior. Again, once you start really reading the book, it will fill in your gaps. But the problem is, this guy has behaved this way for seven years with this woman. And so he did clean up his behavior enough to get into a relationship with her. But once he was with her, he slowly kind of reverted back to the old way he was. And he turned her off for exactly the same reasons why she’s disappeared off and on over the last seven years. He kept doing the same things. He didn’t do enough. He wasn’t really changed. He made some change, but not enough to where she was the one wondering where she stood with him. She always knew.

She started crying when I said that and it triggered the breakup.

This is important now.

She said the relationship wasn’t working but struggled to identify one clear reason.

Again, women don’t understand how attraction works. That’s why. All she knows is she doesn’t feel the same way. Women all say this too.

She said I had done nothing wrong and had been essentially perfect…

You’re the perfect guy, but you’re too good for me.

But admitted she had been depressed for years and that everything in her life felt wrong.

So that’s the whole thing. In other words, everything in her life felt wrong. In other words, the whole relationship being with you felt wrong. In other words, she’s with you physically, but emotionally and mentally, she’s not there. And that’s why she says that she’s describing her low interest. She doesn’t understand why she feels. And again, she’s telling him he’s essentially perfect, except the fact that he acts too much like a beta male. And women don’t know how to tell you to act like a man. They just know how they feel.

There was a ton of “I love yous” for a breakup. She hated doing it on the phone and insisted we talk in person. We met a few days later for what was a three hour breakup conversation. She cried a ton and said she was at the lowest point of her life and wanted to quit her job, lost interest in exercise, leaving her apartment, and things she normally enjoyed. She talked about unresolved trauma she was afraid to confront and feared I might stop loving her if she fully opened up. I told her I wanted to know everything about her, but she wouldn’t budge.

Again, at the end of the day, it’s because her interest is low. You’re trying to open a woman up who’s lost interest, romantic interest and respect for you.

I want to be honest, she did express doubts about our relationship, sometimes feeling something was missing.

Her feelings are what’s missing.

Or questioning whether I could give her what she needed.

In other words, whether you could act like a man consistently and the ways the book describes.In other words, whether you could act like a man consistently and the ways the book describes.

But never could point to a specific reason when I asked further questions.

So you’re asking for advice on how attraction works from a woman, and they don’t know. All they know is how they feel. This is what happens, when again. Because the fact that you’re going to her and like asking her to explain it, it’s you may have read the book and you have learned some things, but you don’t really understand how attraction works. It’s like you’re trying to use logic and reason to talk her into feeling something for you, but she has to feel the uncertainty of when you’re going to call, when she’s going to see you again. If you’re going to meet somebody else, she needs to be the one wondering where she stands with you. And you’re just you’re way too clear about it. You’re constantly looking for attention and validation and reassurance that she still cares about you or still feels the same way. That’s not confidence. The number one strength characteristic women love in men is minutes confidence and you’re displaying the opposite of it.

She said when she talked about marriage, children, and a future with me.

Well, that only applies for 24 hours, that’s what she’s feeling. 24 hours later it’s like a new weather report. She’s going to feel differently. Guys lock in and like, hey, six months ago, she was talking marriage, but she hasn’t brought it up since because she doesn’t feel the same way. That’s the important thing to understand. If they want marriage and children, she’ll be constantly talking about it. When’s this going to happen? When are we going to get married? When are you going to get a ring? Should we keep bringing it up? As soon as she stops bringing it up it means she’s not feeling that way anymore. So notice what she says.

She said when she talked about marriage, children, and a future with me, she felt it in the moment, but would later question if she wanted that for her life or not.

So she would feel it. He would get her feelings there, and then he would do or say something that was really unattractive. Her feelings would drop and then she’d go, I don’t really want to marry this guy again.

I asked how she is able to separate her doubts about her life versus doubts about us and she said she couldn’t. She also said she didn’t know if leaving was “the biggest mistake of my life or the biggest blessing.” She even suggested we work on ourselves for five weeks and then meet again. I declined that suggestion. Eventually she said she felt she needed to be alone to figure out what she wants in life.

She, in other words, needs to get the experience of life without you to see if her feelings return. You got to stop being a needy, insecure, neurotic dude that’s treating his girlfriend like his mommy and needs a little pat on the head constantly that he’s doing the right thing. You got to learn what’s attractive and masculine and what’s not. Because you’re clearly not consistently showing up in a masculine way that makes her feel safe to where she’s crazy about you and wants to convince you to stick around.

She was sorry for picking at me and treating me badly. She said she didn’t regret the relationship, just how she treated me.

She treated you badly, because she didn’t respect you and was hoping you would stand up to her and put her in her place, call her out, set a boundary. Tell her not to talk to you that way. Whatever it was that you were doing that made you look weak and you kept doing it.

I told her “I love you and I don’t want this but I accept your choice. I really hope you can figure things out. If you ever want to revisit this, you know how to find me but if not I wish you nothing but the best”. While hugging I said, “thank you for being part of my life”.

Your Highness. Well, he might have. He didn’t say, Your Highness, but I added that. But you pedestalized this girl.

And her body broke down sobbing in my arms. 

Because she feels guilty. Intellectually, she knows you’re awesome, but emotionally you’re just not acting manly enough dude. That’s the bottom line.

After that we left and have been in no contact since. For about a week and a half she avoided going into work, withdrew from friends, was liking a bunch of self improvement content online and was just trying to get through her sadness. Then she had a work trip and right before going, she finally removed our Instagram photos then posted herself at the bars at night.

So she’s out trying to find a new cock to ride.

After the trip she continued removing photos of me and seemed to follow a new guy that I am suspecting she hooked up with. 

So you should be the same thing.

What happened here?

You turned her off and drove her away. You literally chased her out of your life once again and you talked and texted her out of liking you. That’s what happened.

This was the deepest we have ever been and the breakup seemed so conflicted.

Well, your behavior improved enough to where she felt like she wanted to be in a relationship. And at times, you got her to the point where she was in love with you and was thinking about a future, but you weren’t able to maintain it because you still kept displaying too much unattractive behavior.

It feels unresolved but I am holding strong in no contact. Is there anything I can do to give myself the best chance at her coming back?



Thank you for your time.

Well, instead of looking at it as you getting her to come back. She’s got to win another chance with you, not the other way around. So you should be reading the book and applying with other women, so you can fill in your knowledge gap and figure out what other things are you doing that’s really unattractive. But based on her responses, I pointed out a bunch of those things throughout the videos.

So again, you got to clean up your behavior and you’ve got to clean up your game because this fucking sucks, dude. And if you don’t get it right with this girl, guess what? The next girl that you really like, you’re going to do the same thing with. You’re doing exactly what I used to do. And probably most of the guys that are watching this used to do before they found my work. So we’ve all been there.

We know what it looks like, we know what it feels like. It feels fucking awful. But at the end of the day, you’re still doing too much, you’re still pursuing too much. You’re hanging on her every word and expecting her to constantly validate that you’re being a good boyfriend and she wants a future with you. You shouldn’t care about that. You should care about hanging out, having fun, and hook up. That’s the simple formula. That’s it.

She can be the one to want you back or convince you to give her exclusivity again. But in the meantime, you’re a free agent. The best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one. And who knows? If you start applying what’s in the book with other women, maybe you might meet a girl and you do everything right according to the book. And she’s better, she’s hotter, she’s more fun, she’s more consistent. She doesn’t have these other problems.

And your girlfriend comes back or tries to come back in a few weeks or a few months and you found somebody else. So if you apply what’s in the book and really take it seriously and what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and clean up the rest of your unattractive behavior, I’d be surprised if she doesn’t come back because you guys just have so much time together. She clearly cares.

But at the end of the day, her feelings are her feelings. And so you’ve got to clean up your behavior because if she does come back and you start hooking up again, as soon as you start over pursuing the same thing will happen. She’ll dump you for the same reasons that she’s basically been dumping you and blowing you off for seven years now. But I’m sure this has probably happened with other women that you’ve dated, but you gotta clean up your behavior, dude.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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