How to tell when a woman is really into you, if you should ask her out and what to do once you find a woman who has mutual interest, so she responds to you in a positive, romantic way, instead of giving you no response at all, or vague and confusing responses.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who says he has not gotten a single date since he started following what I teach. He talks to and interacts with women, getting positive responses and signs of their attraction to him, but he thinks his problem may be that he never actually asks them out. Ya think? The second email is from a guy who got no response at all when setting up a date with a woman he talked to on two separate occasions before asking her out. She stood him up on their date and was a no-show. The third email is from a guy who has been following me for five months and read my book nine times so far. He shares a recent success story he had with a woman he met in a bar and seduced her on the same night. I make clear distinctions in the actions of all three men and why the third is succeeding, and the first two are not, so you can avoid their common rookie mistakes and setbacks. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails:
First Viewer’s Email:
Most of your book and videos are about dealing with relationships with women. (No, they’re not. It’s actually about focusing on being your best as a man in your your purpose and your mission in life, and obviously interacting with women and being successful with them is a big part of that. What I teach is how to be a well rounded human being. Your first sentence there shows you don’t know the book very well, which is obviously a big reason why you’re not getting the results you want.) Funny enough, I can’t even reach the level of mastery of the worst cases you talk about on your YouTube channel. (This is the story you tell yourself. Remember, people will act consistently with who they view themselves to be, whether the view is accurate or not.) My problem is simply that I’m not even able to ask for a single date. (Again, that’s the story you tell yourself, so you don’t have to take any action to risk any rejection. You are simply choosing to not take any action to ask a woman out when the opportunity arises, because you’re afraid of the potential consequences. This is something that every man has to overcome. You have to develop people skills. You have to interact with other human beings. You have to lose your attachment to what may or may not happen. You’ve got to give yourself permission to get rejected.)
I have a really bad social anxiety, and I’m forcing myself to combat it by socializing with other people. (You’re a novice at it, because for a large part of your life, you haven’t interacted with other people. The only way to get good at things you suck at is to work at them over and over, and to be okay with failing. You have to get through the nos in order to get to the yeses. You have to take action, instead of bitching out.) I now have managed to join a few sport activities, and I have also managed to join meetups, a social network called meetup.com. For you to get an idea of what a meetup.com meeting looks like, it’s sort of a bunch of people who mostly don’t know each other and meet together in a physical place to talk and/or do a specific activity, like sports, crafting, cooking, training, coaching, etc. I have actually already had a few situations where I was leading the conversations with attractive women by teasing them and making them laugh. In some cases, I noticed attraction gestures from their side, like holding my arm/shoulder, asking me if I was in any relationship or them talking openly about their sexual life. So far, no woman has ever sent me a message through meetup.com after meeting her. (Well, you have to be the man dude. You have to show up. You can’t expect women to do everything.)
Even though I try really hard, I finally never ask for phone numbers, and I think that’s what I’m doing utterly wrong. (If you’re not asking women for phone numbers and you’re not asking them out on dates, you’re not going to be going out on dates.) Asking for a phone number, for me it’s really difficult, as it’s one of the situations where my social anxiety strikes very hard. (At least you’re talking to them. You’re taking some action. The key is to take more action.) It’s also kind of awkward because I would need to ask for the phone number in front of the other members of the meetup, which can be friends of hers, and I think that could make her feel uncomfortable. (Meetup is not the only place to meet people. Go to a mall, a social function, a beer festival, an art festival. Go do something outside, where you can interact with other people. You’re too worried about what other people think about you.)
And the questions are… Do you have any technique/trick to reduce the anxiety when asking for a phone number? (Tell yourself it’s okay to get rejected. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Most women are going to be nice to you. You’ve got to take some risk dude.) Is it okay to ask for a phone number the first time I meet a woman, or is it better to ask if I meet her again? In case I’m unable to ask the phone number, do you see it as acceptable to get in touch with her by sending a meetup.com message, or will it give the image I’m chasing her? (No way, that’s a beta male way. That’s going to make you look weird and creepy. Women appreciate the guy who has the balls to go for it and get rejected. They key is not to worry about it. You’ve got to read the book 10-15 times. I can tell you don’t know the book that well.)
In case it’s been clear there has been an attraction, shall I ever expect them to get in touch with me?
Second Viewer’s Email:
First time ever stood up, hmmmm! I have thoughts and concerns about what took place Tuesday, August 30th, when I was supposed to meet a beautiful girl at a sushi place. I met her on August 16th, and had a quick, pleasant conversation with her over the counter. The second encounter was more exciting on August 19th. (That’s part of the problem. You were too sheepish to ask her out the first time you saw her. It took you two times to work up the courage to ask her out. That’s part of your problem. That makes you look weak from the get-go.) I made the attempt to ask her out, but she was really busy and flooded with phone calls. I left and later called her at work to ask her out. (Come on man. A man is not going to give a shit. He will say, “Excuse me, can I get your number real quick?” He will do something. That’s twice she could tell you wanted to say something to her. Women can feel that. Then you don’t do anything, but then call her at work. That’s creepy dude. It makes you look weak.) She excitedly agreed and said, “Take down my number. Text me!” She caught me off guard, but thankfully my memory did not fail me as I attempted to remember her number as she quickly fired it off. “Phew!” I made an offer for Tuesday night and she said “No I can’t,” but she came back with a counter offer for Monday night, which I couldn’t do. I have commitments as a coach, so I let her know I couldn’t. She came back with a second offer about 10 minutes later with Tuesday night and meet up halfway around 7:30.
ME: I said okay that will work. I gave her a place and time of 7:30.
HER: “Perfect. See you then! Have a great good weekend.”
This was at 6:30pm. I didn’t respond to that. I was busy and it slipped my mind. (Come on man. So you ignored her text.)
ME: The next morning, Saturday, I felt I might have left her hanging.
ME: “Hey, my apologies. I got busy, wasn’t trying to be rude. I saw your text late last night and didn’t want to respond so late. Thanks, and have a great weekend!” (It’s important to not just blow somebody off. Also, if read receipt is turned on, she will see you saw her text. It makes it look like you’re purposely playing games. Some women, when they think you’re purposely playing games, will blow you off and stand you up, just to be an ass.)
HER: ” No worries! I’m at this hellhole again this am! Waaaa work on Saturday
ME: “Have a good day at work. My son’s game just started. I will see you Tuesday, 7:30.”
HER: No response. (If you get no response, I would assume the date’s not on, because what you’re looking for is enthusiasm. You want her excited to see you. I would say a good reason why she blew you off is because she decided she wasn’t that into meeting you out. So really, you have no date at this point.)
I took it as, she’s at work at 9:30 and it must be busy. The weekend passed, Tuesday came, and I am excited/nervous/have butterflies, so I showed up at 7:15. Then 7:30 came around, and no show. I had been there 15 minutes, and ordered appetizers, because the waitress asked me for the fifth time. Lol. I ordered and ate my appetizers, and 20 minutes later, no show, so I left to another restaurant next door where I had 2 beers, ate and left. To this day, Thursday, 9:00 am, 2 days later, there has been no call, no text.
Did I leave too early? (The bottom line is, she didn’t reply to “Hey, I’ll see you Tuesday.” That tells me, it turned her off when you didn’t respond, and it looked like you were playing games. I’d say there’s a good chance if you had replied the night before, saying “I look forward to it. I can’t wait to see you,” that she would have replied back. But whenever someone leaves you hanging like that, I would assume you don’t have a date. You’re looking for enthusiasm. You want somebody who’s excited to be with you and values the opportunity to spend time with you, and that particular woman didn’t.) Should I have texted, or better yet called, at 7:45 that night? Should I call her out on it next time I see her? I will see her again by default. She works where my car is now being worked on. I’m not sure. My first reaction is pissed off and, fuck it, oh well. Next! Life goes on! Must move on! I will not be rude, but I will not ask her out again either, as much as I want to.
Third Viewer’s Email:
How the hell are ya’ doing? Fucking amazing like me, I’m sure. I’ve been following your work for 5 months now and read your book 9 times so far. (I appreciate the fact you’ve read my book 9 times, and you’ve actually followed the instructions. I say 10-15 times until you can commit it to memory, because each time you listen to something, watch it or read it, you’re only going to commit to memory 8-10% of it. Once or twice won’t cut it.) I found you when my now ex wife left me. I did all the bullshit Hollywood things most guys do, like begging like a little bitch, etc. I was devastated, because I didn’t think I would ever find anyone as good as her again. (If you’ve always had trouble getting and keeping the kind of quality women you always felt like you deserved, that’s incredibly frustrating. You’re naturally going to be in a hit or miss mentality, where it’s just a matter of luck if you meet the right girl. But if you learn and apply the things I teach, it’s just simply a matter of time before someone better will come along. If you look at it from the perspective I do, like there’s another bus coming every 15 minutes, then the right people will come and stay in your life, and those that are not that into you will just keep on moving.)
After reading your book, I said, “fuck it” and decided to go out to a bar with a “no fucks given” attitude. I walked in with my chest out, chin up, fuck with me get fucked up look. I walk up to the bar and instantly notice a Caucasian/Hispanic mix woman eye fucking my brains out. (Remember, attraction is not a choice. All you did was walk in with a vibe, body language and physiology that attracts women, as I discuss in my article and video, “Body Language That Attracts Women.” I also detail this in my book. She liked what she saw. In half a second she knew, and that’s why she kept looking. Plus, she was also confident. Confident women have the confidence not to break eye contact when they meet a confident guy.) She was 5’5,” 125 lbs., skinny waist, thick ass and thighs, long black hair… She was a fucking perfect 10, and made my ex wife look like Freddy Kruger. (If you apply the things I teach, you’ll either get your ex back, or you’ll get someone better. Either way, it’s a win for you. But you’ve got to do the work.) I looked her in the eyes and made sure not to look away first. She didn’t flinch, so I stuck my tongue out at her. That threw her off and she broke, laughing and looking side to side. I then signaled for her to come over with my finger. She smiled, grabbed her purse and came to sit beside me at the bar. (You walked in with the physiology of an alpha male, tall, proud and chest out. The only reason a guy walks in anywhere like that is because of all the successes he’s had in his life up until that moment. Women know to recognize guys that are used to getting what they want and guys that don’t. When you walked in with that physiology, she automatically presupposed you had your shit together.)
We talked for a couple of hours, with me leading the conversation by asking the most questions. The bar was closing, so I offered to walk her to her car. Out in the parking lot, she kept playing with her hair and showing me her neck, (Those are signs of being submissive in attraction), while shaking her keys around. (She wanted you to do something so the connection wouldn’t end here.) I knew it was time to pounce on that shit like white on rice. We started kissing and rubbing all over each other. I told her that we could go to my place, but she said she lived very close and we could just go there. (Obviously, she didn’t want to wait. She had already decided you and her were hooking up, as long as you didn’t talk her out of it. It makes it pretty fucking easy. You don’t get rejected as long as you do things like this.) She said that she would ride with me, and I could bring her back to her car later. (She’s already thinking you will spend the night. She safe and comfortable because she’s in the presence of a man with lots of choices and lots of options. Those guys are never going to be the creepy, stalker, abusive dude. They don’t have to.) She typed her address into my GPS and told me that she had other plans than talking. She was on my pole like a stripper on a Saturday night. I could barely keep my composure. Thank god she lived close, because I almost blew my load in her mouth. We went into her place and must have had sex on every piece of furniture in there. It was the best and most incredible sex of my life. (This is because both of you really wanted it. There was no talking her into it. You were showing up, acting like a man and met a woman who was dying to meet a man. Look what happened, totally submissive.)
I just wanted to share this with you, because I owe it all to your book and video lessons. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Thank you so much for everything man. (You followed me textbook. You heard the same thing over and over and saw enough of these stories, so when the opportunity presented itself, it flowed like butter.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
““We tend to see what we want and ignore the reality of what is. We also tend to see things as being better than they are or worse than they are, instead of as they are. We often project our fantasy of the way we want our lives or people to be, while ignoring reality. In other words, human beings are the ultimate self-bullshitters. Successful people focus on their outcomes and what they seek to create for their lives and relationships. When something is not working, they know they need to change or modify their approach and immediately seek to do so. By closing the time frame gap between noticing things are not working and taking action to change your approach, you will speed up your success, while others dither, hesitate and get nowhere.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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