She Got Serious With Another Guy But Now She’s Back

What you could do if she got serious with another guy but just got back in touch.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who just ended a long term relationship and had a 1^st date with a new woman. She canceled their 2^nd date a few hours before they were to meet saying she was getting serious with another guy. However, only a few days later she got back in touch and wanted to meet. He asks why she would do this. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Got Serious With Another Guy But Now She’s Back.”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer. He just ended a long term relationship. And so this was like the first girl that he had gone out with in a long time. I think he said he met her online and so they had a first date, but he didn’t have the guts to go for the kiss because, as he said, it was the first time he’d been out with anybody other than his ex in a long time. So he kind of chickened out. And then, so I guess a few hours before their second date, she basically cancelled, saying that she had been seeing another guy and it was getting serious, and she wanted to devote herself to that new guy.

And he said, “Hey, well, if it doesn’t work out, get in touch.” Well, apparently only a few days went by. She got back in touch and he’s thinking, wow, did this other guy screw up that fast? It can happen that fast. So if you’re going to date enough women, eventually you’re going to have this situation happen to you quite often. Especially if you’re doing online dating.

Because if the girl you’re dating thinks things are progressing with their primary guy, which is what it looked like was going on here, then you can expect her to dip. But that’s why you don’t burn a bridge, because there’s a really good chance, a 97% chance, that the other guy is going to fuck it up. And so maybe she has been out in 4 or 5 dates with the other guy, and then she goes out with you because she wasn’t sure if it’s going to go anywhere the other guy or not. You have a good date.

And then after that, she has another date with the other guy and it really progresses. Then she might put the brakes on what you guys got going on and says, “I can’t see you anymore.” And you say, “Hey, well, hit me up if it doesn’t work out.” And so it’s a good email because again, if you date enough, you’re going to encounter this. And if you really like the girl, you don’t want to burn the bridge.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

Long time fan of your work from Australia, I found your content after a relationship failure about 10 years ago. Since then I’ve recently ended a long term relationship and have now begun to reenter the dating world. I met a gorgeous woman about two weeks ago off a dating app, and organized a date for Saturday night. She messaged Saturday with some potentially BS excuse that her Grandma was ill, but she did offer to reschedule to the following night.

Okay, so as The Book says, if a woman just cancels at the last minute, no mention of a reschedule, then she’s done. And the only way you ever ask her out again is if she reaches out to you first, and she brings up getting together. But in this particular case, she wanted to cancel the date, probably even though she used the grandma excuse. It’s probably because things were progressing with the other guy, and so she didn’t want to start dating you if it looked like she was going to get serious with the other dude.

So, but she did offer to reschedule. So that’s the important thing because it was her idea to reschedule. So then that’s okay. The way the late, great Doc Love felt about it was that, “one chance per girl, per lifetime.” So if a chick ditches you like an hour or two before no offer of a reschedule. Her tone is like, monotone. In other words, she’s just blowing you off because she don’t give a fuck. Well, she’s out of there for good. Fo sho.

She did offer to reschedule to the following night. I took this on face value.

So, in other words, she’s brand new. We don’t even know this woman. So let’s assume she’s an honest person. We’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Trust but verify. As Ronald Reagan used to say.

I took this on face value and we went out to dinner the next night and had a great time. At the end of the night I failed to make a move to kiss her. I know, poor form from me but it was my first date in years.

Well, if you hesitate, you will masturbate. And if you really like the girl and you’re on a date with her, and you got to understand, she’s going out on dates with guys that are blowing her back out, and then you’re too timid and shy to go for a kiss, and she’s got these other guys that are acting masculine, usually that’s all it takes for you to blow it. You’ve got to keep that in mind. That’s why it’s so much better to meet women in person instead of trying to get on the dating apps. Do not go where the path may lead, instead, go where there is no path and leave a trail. I can’t remember who said that.

We exchanged numbers as I’d only talked with her on the app, and she texted me when she got home and said she had a great night. I waited a few days before texting her again and set up a second date for the next Saturday night. A few hours before we were supposed to meet, she messaged and said, “I think I have to cancel our date, I’ve met someone and want to see where things go with them.”

So again, those things are going to happen. It’s like, “Hey, no problem, hit me up if it doesn’t work out.” That’s all you really need to say.

I was a little upset because although we only had one date, I really liked this girl. She knocked my socks off as you would say.

Well, if she’s knocking your socks off and you bitched out on going for the kiss, that could have been a difference between getting her and getting blown off.

I responded saying, “Thanks for being honest, I really like you and had hoped things would go further. Get in touch if things don’t work out”. She replied shortly after and basically said it was just bad timing etc.

Well, that was nice. That’s so lovely.

I assumed I would not hear from her again and would need to chalk it up as an experience to learn from. Two days later on Monday, she messaged me again saying, “Sorry to bother you so soon, if you’re happy we could catch up after work one day during the week”.

So I guess the other guy. See how quickly that changes. Again, she’s on a dating app. She felt more attraction to the other guy because he was probably more masculine. And then something happened over the weekend, on their date or whatever it was when she saw him, and she thought, “oh damn, where’s Bob? What about Bob?”

I am really struggling to understand what she means with all this. Is it possible the other guy has stuffed it up already?

Yep. There’s a 97% chance of that, Bob. So. Hey, she got in touch. She asked you out. So, thumbs up. Make a date, hang out and have fun, hook up.

I organized to see her this coming Friday for dinner after work. I just want to get my expectations in check, how do I handle this?

Just like the last time. Just follow what’s in The Book. Hang out. Have fun. Hook up. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Say she canceled at the last minute for some BS excuse. Tell her it’s rude. See if you can get her to keep the date. Just say, “Hey. Well, we had plans, and I cleared my schedule for you, and you wanted to get together.” So, you know, if she’s telling you she’s got to go hang out with some friend or comfort some girl about her dead parakeet or whatever. Just say, “hey, we had plans. You can go hang out with your friend tomorrow. You know, I cleared my schedule to be with you tonight, so I expect you to honor that.”

And if she still waffles, then I wouldn’t respond. And if she ever reaches out in the future and asks you out, just say, “I’m not going to plan any dates but if you want to come by and have a drink, I’m willing to hear you out and hear what you got to say.” And invite her over to come over to your place and have a drink together. I wouldn’t make big plans to go out or anything like that. But let’s assume she keeps a date. So hang out, have fun, hook up. It’s pretty simple. That’s it. You’re not trying to marry her. You’re not trying to make her your girlfriend. Just trying to see what happens. And this time, go for the fucking kiss.

Do I assume it’s a date?

Yes.

And treat it as such until it becomes clear that’s not what she meant?

She meant it as a date, bro. What happened was the other guy turned out that it didn’t work out with him.

I figure I told her to contact me if things didn’t work out, and if she is trying to be serious with someone why is she organizing to hang out with other guys she met on dating apps?

Appreciate any advice you can give me.

Kind regards,

Bob

Well, again, because things went sideways, obviously with the other guy. Or she just doesn’t think it’s going to work out with the other guy. So she reached out to you, and she asked you out. So there’s a really good chance, I’d say there’s at least a 60% chance she’s going to keep this date. So either way, it’ll be fun. It’ll be interesting. As you said, you really like this girl. So let’s see what happens. Hang out, have fun, hook up.

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