She Lies, Cheats & Takes No Responsibility For Her Actions

What it means when a woman lies, cheats & takes no responsibility.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s been with his girlfriend for 3 years. She’s lied to him constantly and cheated on him multiple times. He finally dumped her, but is considering giving her yet another chance. She comes from a broken home and takes no responsibility for her own devious actions. He wonders if the relationship is salvageable.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Lies, Cheats & Takes No Responsibility For Her Actions”.

Well, this particular email is from a viewer who’s really struggling. He was with his girlfriend for three years. She lied to him constantly, cheated on him multiple times. And basically her excuse is, oh, I can’t help it. And what do we know about her background? Came from a broken home. No dad to speak of. You just cannot treat or date women that come from a broken home like they’re normal and healthy, or project your Disney fantasy onto them, thinking you’re going to fix them or save them.

As good as 3% Man is, it’s not going to fix the woman that’s messed up because she came from a broken home. If you’re looking for a healthy, long term relationship, a steady girlfriend, a wife to have kids with, it’s not going to be 99.99% of the time with a girl from a broken home. And unfortunately, with this guy, even after everything that’s happened, I mean, you’ll see this pretty crazy story, that he’s still entertaining the thought, well, things would have to change if we’re going to get back together.

It’s like, this girl’s not going to change. Maya Angelou said it best, “when somebody shows you who they are or tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” Because at the end of the day, as Ayn Rand said, “you can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.” So you can feel for this guy. But he kind of did it to himself. And on top of that, he’s still inviting more of it.

Remember, as the book says, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. And when women like this get constantly validated, that their behavior is okay because the guy will forgive you, or the next guy will put up with it because they’re cute, then what is her motivation to change? She doesn’t have any. There’s always another sucker that’ll put up with it.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I’m reaching out because I’ve followed your work, watched almost all your YouTube videos, and just ordered your book.

Well, there’s no way you watched almost all my 4,000 or 5,000 YouTube videos. And I don’t know how long you’ve been following me, but the fact you just now ordered the book, and you still haven’t even read it, even though it’s free to read the Members Area of the Website. A big part of this problem is that you’re not really taking my work seriously. You’re cherry picking in videos thinking you’re gonna fix this girl and you don’t really understand how attraction works, or what a good, healthy relationship actually looks like. A woman is supposed to help bring you peace.

She’s supposed to be your joy, your biggest cheerleader and fan. She’s supposed to make your dick hard, not your life. And this woman clearly has been making this guy’s life hard for three years, and yet he keeps hoping that he’s going to get a different outcome with this girl. But you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. You’ve just got to throw them back to the streets. Because it’s not your job to fix her, to save her.

I mean, it’s sad that she came from a broken home, but that’s not your fault. And she clearly isn’t doing anything on her part to rise above it or become a better human being. Her attitude is like, well, it’s kind of not my fault because the reality is there’s always another dude that’s willing to put up with it, including the guys that she cheated on you with.

I’m 30 and recently separated from my girlfriend, Jessica, who is 24. We were together for 3 and a half years. We still love each other deeply and have an incredibly close, special bond, but our relationship has also become very unhealthy and complicated.

Well, the problem is you’re trying to have a normal, healthy relationship with a girl that really is more suited for a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate kind of relationship. Not a girlfriend, definitely not a wife. This is not the kind of woman you want raising your kids or having kids with her, because you also won’t even know if they’re actually your children unless you get a DNA test. No guy needs to put up with that. Life’s hard enough. Why make it more difficult on yourself by trying to fix some other man’s screw ups because he was a terrible father.

We recently spent 2 to 3 months together in Thailand. During the final week, another man became interested in her, and she in him.

Remember, this is not the first time this has happened.

I saw him touch her and hold her hand, and I also saw her subtly flirting with him.

Again, when a woman has no father, she never learned healthy boundaries. She never learned what healthy masculinity is. She doesn’t know who to trust. She doesn’t know which men are trustworthy. And she clearly is not. She’s like the town bicycle. She’s like a doorknob. Everybody gets their turn. Again, you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. I know it’s harsh, but that’s the way it is. It’s not your job to fix her. You’re looking for a teammate in an equal. And this woman is not on your level. She does not have the value system. In order to have the kind of relationship that you want to have with a woman. This is the kind of girl you hook up with for a little bit. She could be a rotation girl and then you move on.

I felt uncomfortable but didn’t confront him because I didn’t want to create a scene, which I deeply regret now.

Remember, no one will ever do or say to you that you don’t invite them to do. So this clearly is another part of your problem. You haven’t even followed me for a while, but you haven’t read the book. And so you’re completely unaware of all the unattractive things that you’re doing. And when you’re acting unattractive with a woman of low character like your now ex-girlfriend, well, you’re just going to get more and more of that bad behavior and you’re going to get stomped on and walked all over and treated like a doormat because you keep putting up with it. You’ve got to have some self-respect.

After returning home, this became a major source of conflict.

I mean, really, when she’s doing that, I assume you were probably paying for most, if not all of everything on that trip. And to repay you for your loyalty and being a good boyfriend and paying for all this stuff, she goes and invites romance for another guy.

Jessica has cheated on me twice before, so trust has already been a major issue.

Well, after the first time, he should have kicked her to the curb. But when you took her back, all that did was teach her that she could get away with it. She can cry, do some waterworks, put on an act, promise she’ll never do it again. And then she does it again.

After Thailand, I discovered she had contacted and called this man and deleted their conversation.

Well, that’s a shock.

The day before, she had told me she only wanted me, wasn’t interested in him, and wanted to marry me.

Because she knew that you would buy her load of bullshit. You’ve got to look at what a woman does, not what she says. And unfortunately, you’re like the people that watch CNN. You believe everything that they fucking say.

She said she deleted the conversation because she didn’t want to hurt me.

Well, obviously she knows you’re not going to like what was in there.

We had a major fight and didn’t speak for three days. When she called, I told her I couldn’t continue like this, that I deserved better treatment, and ended the relationship. She became extremely emotional, cried, and said she loved me and didn’t want to lose me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I comforted her and said loving things while still standing by my decision.

Well, it looks like maybe his balls are finally dropping.

I personally never cheated on her and would never do that. There was a previous incident where I messaged a girl with no romantic intent. Jessica became extremely emotional, cried on the floor for around two hours, showed an intense fear of abandonment.

Again, it’s not your fault that her dad wasn’t around.

And some time later physically attacked me while I was driving because of the incident.

I remember there was a video clip from a couple of years ago. It was two famous people. It was a really attractive girl and kind of a dude that was kind of ugly, if I remember right. And they’re driving and she just starts whacking him in the face because she had no respect. And that guy had been putting up with that for a while. Again, no one will ever do anything to you that you don’t invite them to do.

She doesn’t respect you as a man, and she physically attacks you because there was no dad to teach her that that’s not appropriate. Again, we see clips on Twitter of a bunch of women throwing down in Walmart or some fast food place because they got upset about something. They just absolutely destroy the place. And you realize that none of those women grew up with a father.

As a matter of fact, 80% of the people that are in jail are men that are in jail that grew up without a dad. They grew up being raised by a single mom. Men provide a calm, stable environment, or at least they’re supposed to. And they’ll jerk a knot in their kid’s ass, ground them, whatever they need to do to get them to comply and be calm and not act like a lunatic. But when a man’s not around, the woman just gets carried away on her emotions, and she’s emotionally irrational and manipulative.

I’ve talked extensively with my mother, who knows Jessica very well. We’ve noticed intense mood swings, explosive anger over relatively small things, a strong fear of abandonment, and other patterns, as well as a very traumatic childhood and absent father.

Well, again, that’s a sad story, and we can feel sorry for her and say prayers for her. But at the end of the day, it’s not your job to fix her or to save her. It doesn’t work anyways. I mean, you tried for three and a half years. Where did it get you?

Neither of us can diagnose her, but we have wondered whether some of these behaviors could be consistent with borderline personality disorder and whether that might be relevant to understanding our relationship dynamics.

She comes from a broken home. Dude, you can’t fix that. The book is designed for normal, healthy women, not girls from broken homes, because they’re just not going to act properly because dad wasn’t around.

She is going to do a school program in Greece for three months. The day before she left, I dropped her belongings at a friend’s house. She called because she was nearby and wanted to see me one last time. She became very emotional and almost didn’t want to let me go.

Well, the best thing for her is to lose you and for you to never give her another chance.

Later that night, she called me while drunk and asked to come to my place. She arrived in tears after some drama with her friends.

So again, she’s got drama with you, she’s got drama with her friends. This woman is a net negative to your life. If you look at the debit and the credit column, it’s a total loss. The car is totaled. It’s not fixable, my man. You can do some body work and paint it and make it look pretty on the outside, but it’s jacked up underneath the hood and it’s not your fault.

I comforted her, and we had an amazing evening together and had sex twice.

Because she’s like, ah, I’ll try my magic pussy and that’ll get him to change his mind.

The following day she left for Greece, and I told her I needed space. When she asked how long, I said at least a couple of weeks. I’m not sure if I want her back.

Dude, if you’re seriously thinking about taking her back, I want you to reach out with your right hand and choke yourself. I mean, come on, dude, have some self-respect. This is not fixable. It wasn’t fixable the first time she did it. And if you take her back again, all she’s going to do is get further validation that she could pretty much get away with whatever she wants.

And at the end of the day, when she’s in Greece, she’s gonna be fucking other dudes. She needs attention from men because she never got it from daddy. So she gets it from wherever she can. Doesn’t matter whether she’s in a relationship or has a boyfriend or not, or made a commitment or not. None of that shit matters. Because again, dad wasn’t there.

I know that getting back together without major changes would likely recreate the same problems.

Again there aren’t going to be changes. Dude, you gave her three and a half years. It’s not fixable. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. You can’t put barbecue sauce on a fucking shit burger and go, oh, wow, this is really delicious. Doesn’t work.

I also don’t know how to handle the other man.

Well, you don’t handle it all. If he can take your girl, well, then he can fucking have her. And you should never want her back.

If she eventually wants contact with me again, I feel I cannot emotionally do that while she maintains contact with him.

She’s not going to change, bro. You had three and a half years. This is who she is.

I’ve told her that as well, and she replied, “But he distracts me. What’s the difference between him and other men?”

So in other words, she’s basically saying, oh, I can’t help but feel attracted to this guy. And so she acts upon it because she has no self control. Because again, dad wasn’t there to teach her self control, so she has zero.

I told her there’s too much history between them for me to see it like that. I don’t want to control her; I see it as a boundary for myself.

Well again, she doesn’t care about your boundaries. She pisses all over them anyways.

But I don’t know whether that is reasonable now that we’re separated, and sometimes I think the healthiest thing would be to walk away and never look back.

Dude, you should have done that the first time she lied and cheated on you. This is not recoverable. All you would do is open yourself up for the same thing to happen all over again.

What would you recommend during this period of space?

Maybe block her number. Read the book. Apply it with other women that come from good, family oriented homes. Again, you can’t have a healthy, normal, easy, and effortless relationship with a chick that was raised this way. It’s just not possible. We can feel sad for her. We can say, we can send her our thoughts and prayers and hope she figures it out someday. But you’re just never going to change this girl.

Should I maintain silence unless she reaches out?

Yeah. You’re an absolute sucker and you deserve everything you get if you start pursuing this girl again and reaching out. That’s just stupid.

If she does, how should I respond?

I would say, hey, it’s nice hearing from you, but I don’t want to get back together. I don’t want to see you. I want to move on with my life. It’s just you’re not good for me. You’ve never respected any boundaries. You don’t respect our relationship. You’re just not capable of loyalty. And as you said yourself, you basically can’t help it when you’re attracted to another man and you have to act upon it. And that’s what happens when you’re raised without a dad. So I wish you all the best. It’s you’re not my problem anymore. Not my monkey, not my circus.

I love you, I appreciate the memories, but I don’t want to be with you anymore. And you should date and sleep with whoever you want. This girl is a rotation girl, fuck buddy, friends with benefits. This is the kind of girl that’ll slip one past the goalie on purpose to try to get you to stay with her. So I’d be very careful. I’d be practicing safe sex with her. But if you’re really smart. I wouldn’t have anything to do with her. I’d block her everywhere and just say, I don’t want to see you. It’s not going to work. You had your chance. You told me; you admitted you can’t control yourself with other men. So go ahead and be the town bicycle. I cannot turn a hoe into a housewife.

And how would you approach the possibility of reconciliation?

I wouldn’t approach it at all. There shouldn’t be a reconciliation. All you would be doing was giving her another chance to cheat on you and dick you over again. And it’s 100% guaranteed she will do that. This girl is not going to change.

Given everything that has happened? I’d really appreciate your honest perspective.

Best,

Bob

She should go on down the road. You should read the book and only date women long term that have good relationships with their dads, that they actually respect their father. They don’t nag their dad. They don’t lie to his face. They don’t hide things from him. They don’t give him a hard time until he caves. When dad says, this is it, that’s it. He’s the man of the household. The wife respects him, the daughters respect him, the sons respect him.

Because I did a Video Newsletter the other day, and I think it was yesterday, one of the ones yesterday. You’ve got the daughter who was dating the guy that wrote the email in. You’ve got the mother, and everybody in the family, including the sons, doesn’t tell dad the truth because dad doesn’t handle the truth too well. And so everybody, including the mom, lies to him. And so that should not be shocking that, well, if they think the man’s going to get upset, they just don’t tell him.

And so you know, she was constantly lying to the guy that wrote the email in, and he was surprised at all this. I was like, well, there it is. I think it was the Members Only Video Newsletter from yesterday. But you can’t fix it because whatever is modeled at home is what they’re going to exhibit when they grow up. Dad wasn’t even around. And so you’ve seen her behavior. That’s not going to change.

She’ll cry. She’ll be very emotionally compelling. She’ll tell you all the right things. Oh, it’ll never happen again. I love you, we’re meant to be. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She’ll fuck your brains out because she knows that you like the pussy and you like the good sex. But at the end of the day, as soon as she thinks she’s in the clear, she’s going to be doing what she was doing before.

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