She Said She Didn’t Feel A Spark, But Suggested Another Date At My Place. Why?

Why she suggests another date after saying she didn’t feel the spark & what you should do.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who met a woman on a dating app. The 1^st date he hugged her. The 2^nd date he kissed her. Then she reached out to say she didn’t feel a spark, but offered to have a 3^rd date at his place. He assumed she wasn’t interested and just spun in circles and did nothing. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Said She Didn’t Feel A Spark, But Suggested Another Date At My Place. Why?”

Well, so this is a good email because this guy got kind of thrown a little bit of a curveball. Met a woman on a dating app, and she said something to him that kind of caught him off guard. And this is where knowing The Book backwards and forwards and understanding that you look at what women do, not necessarily what they say.

And so in this particular case, this guy, he had a first date with this woman he met on a dating app. He hugged her. So that tells me either he was too afraid to go for the kiss, or maybe he wanted to wait. He was doing it on purpose. The second date, he did go for the kiss.

And then she reached out to basically say she didn’t feel a spark. However, she suggested they have a third date at his place. Now, what could possibly be the reason that a woman would do that after just telling a guy she didn’t feel a spark? And she in essence, invites herself over to your place. So like when you have a date, like a dinner date in the evening to make dinner at your place, sex is on the table.

That’s a romantic evening. And so it’s pretty clear that this woman is basically saying, “I don’t really feel a spark, but maybe if we slept together, I’d feel differently.” And because either this guy didn’t know The Book well enough or he couldn’t think on his feet, he just assumed he was getting rejected because women have said this in the past.

But in this particular case, she’s just being honest. She doesn’t feel a spark, but if she suggests getting together at your place, well, she’s basically saying, well, I’m open to you beating up my pelvis as long as you don’t talk me out of it. And maybe I’ll feel a spark then. So he’s still in the game, but he didn’t really pick up on it. So he just kind of, “buzz”, he spun around in circles, chasing his tail. Kind of like Jade’s dog Alex used to do.

He was kind of, not not the brightest. Nice dog, but not very smart. But it was kind of funny watching him chase his tail. He would just come over and start spinning in circles, chasing his tail. So whenever I read emails like this, ever since then, I think of little Alex spinning around a circle chasing his tail, just for no reason at all. He’d just be standing there and just start spinning around in a circle.

I used to say her, “Is your dog retarded. What’s going on with him? Is he dropped? What happened?” So with that said, let’s go through the email. So the other thing I want to say before we get into the email, remember, as The Book says, it’s a man’s job to create an opportunity for sex to happen, to and hang out, have fun and hook up. That’s it. Stay on target.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I recently met a woman through a dating app, and things seemed to be going well. After our second date, she called to thank me and said she didn’t feel a spark, but suggested we have our third date at my place.

So it’s “basically” she’s just saying, “you know what? We don’t even need to go out on a date. Let’s get together and let our bodies do some slapping and see what happens. I’m open to being changed.” Or maybe she just wanted to get some strange. If a woman’s inviting herself to your place in the evening, she’s down to hook up. I know it may be, you know, it’s probably obvious to most of the people as we go through this email, but it sailed right over this guy’s head.

Because he did what little Alex used to do, spin around chasing his tail. Right, Rocky? Didn’t know what he was doing. This is like T-Ball the ball is sitting right up on the tee, and all he has to do is step up to the plate and ding and knock it off the tee. And instead, he looks at the ball that the girl that’s just sitting on the tee, and he goes and he spins around in a circle.

To clarify, we only kissed after the second date, and on the first, we just shared a hug.

Well, I would have gone in for a kiss on the first date, especially if there’s interest there. But if you’re unsure by the end of the first date and especially if you’re a guy in a budget and you don’t want to waste more money and time taking a girl out, that’s not really interested, you should go for the kiss, not a hug. The hug shows that you don’t have, especially if the girl can tell you really like her, then you go hug her. It just shows you chickened out, you bitched out. You weren’t courageous enough to risk getting the cheek. And so I assume this guy’s probably pretty young, doesn’t have a lot of experience because that’s the way we all were and we didn’t know any better.

Based on my experience, when someone says they don’t feel a spark, it often means they’re not really interested.

Usually that’s true. When they’re saying it, they’re basically telling you why they don’t want to go out with you again. “Oh, I just don’t really feel a spark. Hey, we can be friends.” And so you got to be able to think on your feet. You always got to have a better, more playful comeback. So if you’re in a situation like this and the woman, when you ask her out, she says, “I don’t really feel a spark or much chemistry. We can be friends.”

Your next statement should be, “Well, we can be friends with benefits, but I’m not going to just do something strictly platonic. I’m not looking for a pal or a buddy. Right? We don’t need no more pals or buddies.” We want to give the meat missile like you gave the little Ocean and made five little babies, didn’t you? Which are all very cute, by the way. Back to our regularly scheduled email. So you should do what Rocky did. Give her the meat missile. Little rocket man here he was one and done. First time he had sex, five babies popped out 58 days later.

I thanked her for being honest, but explained that my place wasn’t an option at the moment due to I am moving to a new place.

Well, if you had a place, you should have invited her over anyways. You should have figured it out. If you were packing all your shit up and your existing place, you should have figured it out, Dude. Say, “hey, I’m in the middle of moving, but yeah, let’s get together.” Maybe she lives at home. We don’t know. Maybe she has roommates. But at the end of the day, a woman inviting, because this typically does not happen. This is why it helps to know The Book backwards and forwards. Because he is correct that typically when a woman says they don’t feel a spark, it’s usually like the end of it and they try to friend zone you right after it. However she suggested his place. I’ll even read it again.

Based on my experience, when someone says they don’t feel a spark.

Well, let me read that sentence about what she actually said.

After our second date, she called to thank me and said she didn’t feel a spark, but suggested we have our third date at my place.

That’s like getting right to the point. I’m open to feeling a spark. If you can put your little spark plug in me and see what happens.

I suggested we meet at her place, but it felt like she was hesitant or maybe had some trust issues.

I don’t it’s not a trust issue. Maybe she’s got roommates or something else going on there, but it’s also possible, because if you think about it, she’s willing to come to your place. I don’t really think there’s a trust issue there. She feels safe enough to invite herself over. And when a woman does that invites you in or herself in like that, it’s basically, “hey, we’re going to have sex as long as you don’t talk me out of it.” Unfortunately, a lot of guys do. Just like it appears as what’s happened with this poor guy.

We ended the conversation with no concrete plans.

So what did he do? He just, he spun around in circles. He was like, “it doesn’t compute. It doesn’t compute. I didn’t read The Book well enough. Corey, I don’t know what to do. She said she felt no spark, but then invited herself to my place. What is this? What do I do?” Hang out, have fun, hook up. But he dithered. He hesitated. And as I say, if you hesitate, you will masturbate.

Afterward, I decided to delete her number because I felt like it might be a waste of my time.

Dude, she invited herself to your place.

She was the one pursuing me since day one, but I’m someone who believes dating should feel natural, not forced.

Well, again, she invited herself to your place. So she was down. Definitely. sounds like she was down to fuck. She wasn’t trying to say, “hey, it’s over. Have a nice life.”

If she reaches out again, I’m unsure how to respond.

I’d really appreciate your perspective on this situation.

Best regards,


Bob

Well, invite her over, hang out, have fun. hook up. It’s pretty simple. Create an opportunity for sex to happen. That’s the whole point of a date. If you’re ultra religious, then the sex happens on the wedding night. But again, that’s so obvious. It’s like she put herself on a silver platter for you and you went, “Oh, what do I do with this Coach? I don’t know, I wish I read The Book more.” Better luck next time. So if she does reach out. Invite her over. Hang out, have fun, hook up, Dude. That’s your mission.

But it’s a missed opportunity. And I’m sure after you watch this, you’ll probably be going., “Damn.” But this is why I say you’ve got to read The Book backwards and forwards so you know it so well you could teach a class on it. Because when you get thrown a curve ball like this, you can’t go, “oh, what does that mean? What do I do? She said there’s no spark. But then she invited herself to my house.” Just like when a woman says, “I don’t feel a spark, but let’s just be friends.”

You reframe it right back to, “hey, we can be friends with benefits. I’m cool with that. Friends with benefits is good.” And she could say, yes. She could say, no. If she says no, you say, “Hey, call me if you change your mind.” Because you stay on target. Hang out, have fun, hook up. That’s a simple formula. Missed opportunity bro. I hope you enjoyed the blue balls and choking your chicken yo self.

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