She Said She Was Embarrassed She Didn’t Walk Away Sooner?

What it means when your ex says she’s embarrassed she didn’t walk away sooner.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose girlfriend left him after two years of on and off dating. They spent the day together and he thought they might reconcile. Then she flew to the Hamptons to stay with another dude the next day. He went to Europe and moved on with several new women.

He got a nasty text in the middle of the night saying she should have walked away sooner. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well this is kind of an interesting email.

So this guy says his girlfriend left him after about two years of on and off dating and I guess he was going to go on a trip and travel, and the day before, he got together with her and they were kissing, a little heavy petting, and he was thinking, “Hey, maybe we’ll be able to work things out. Maybe we’ll reconcile.”

So he finds out, he doesn’t say how he found out, but he found out that the very next fucking day after that, she flew to the Hamptons to go stay at some dude’s house. So in his mind he’s like, “Well, if I look at her actions, she’s off in the Hamptons with some dude staying at his house. He’s probably well off, getting her back blown out.” So he’s like, “OK, if I look at her actions, women vote with their feet.” Plus she didn’t sleep with him the day they saw each other. So he’s like, “I’m going to go to Europe,” or he already was going to Europe. So he’s like, “Fuck it! I’m a free agent. She clearly wasn’t serious. It was kind of jerking my chain.”

So he started hanging out, having fun, meeting hot single ladies in Europe, posting it to social media. Then one morning, he wakes up and he’s got this nasty fucking text from her, because obviously she was creeping on his Instagram stories and stuff.

Viewer Email:

Hello Corey,

Appreciate you being an advocate for helping men and women around the world.

Long story short, a girl and I dated on and off for about two years. She was great. We had troubles in our relationship and she walked away from it in February of this year. Come May, we had a final talk. It went well. We ended it making out then she was nowhere to be found. 

So if she’s not sleeping with you, then probably she’s either talking to somebody else or sleeping with somebody else, and obviously in this case, we know after that last meeting, she literally flies the next day to the Hamptons. So the reason she doesn’t want to sleep with him is probably because in her mind, she’s potentially committing to some other dude, but hey a little kissy-poo, sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, no big deal, in her eyes.

I found out the next day she left to go to New York and stay with a dude in the Hamptons. Shit stung of course, but I remained calm and collected. 

So looks like she flew up to see Chad Thundercock in the Hamptons and got her pelvis beat up. So that tells him everything he needs to know because they’re not together no more at this point and he’s thinking, “Hey, maybe it will work out. When I come back from Europe, things will be great.” Then he finds out she went to the Hamptons and he’s like, “Well fuck it! All bets are off. It’s good for her, it’s good for me.”

I am now on a trip to Europe. I went to south France, Saint Tropez, and I am roaming Italy. I have to be at a wedding in Lake Como…

Which is absolutely beautiful. I’ve been to Lake Como.

…So I took the time to travel while out here for my commitment. 

My social media has been filled with fun times, great food and other women (I had two girls from Texas meet me in Saint Tropez and two girls from L.A. meet me in Saint Tropez).

Oh, that’s a lot of choices!

They have been posting on Instagram and one of them is a famous model with 400k Instagram followers. All smoke show girls. 

Well, the title of the book is How To Be A 3% Man: Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams. Not some average chick or some ex of yours that’s been off and on for two years. Especially a chick who just flies to the Hamptons the next day after dangling the carrot and making you think, “Oh, maybe we’ll reconcile.” Then the next day she’s getting fucked by Chad Thundercock.

My ex just contacted me while I was sleeping out of no where. We haven’t talked in about a month or two and she said this: “You genuinely make me sick. You’ve shown me exactly who you are, and I’m embarrassed I didn’t walk away sooner. I should’ve never given you so many chances because you never deserved them in the first place. You should’ve stayed your ass in Oregon. I’m done letting you take up any space in my head or heart. I want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again. Don’t ever reach out. Don’t even think about contacting me. Delete my number.”

OK, now keep in mind, she flew to the Hamptons, so it’s OK for her but obviously she doesn’t know that he knows.

What do I do? How do I respond? I obviously like this woman and would for sure entertain her company, but this was out of the blue and I’m not sure how to respond or what to say, but I can feel she is big mad and big jealous. Had she stayed with me, she’d be out here enjoying Europe, LOL!

Thanks,

Bob

Well I would tell her that. I would just say, “Well, that’s not the good morning text I expected. However, when we last saw each other, it sure seemed like you wanted to rekindle things and I was excited about that. I was even gonna have you come to Europe with me, but the very next day I find out that you flew to the Hamptons to be with some other dude. So I look at that and I go, ‘No wonder we didn’t sleep together,’ because you were already talking to some other guy. So the way I looked at it, you voted with your feet, you made your choice and you went to see some other guy. So in my mind, you weren’t really interested in reconciling anything. So I’m in Europe, There’s cute ladies here. What am I supposed to do? I can’t help it if I’m a sexy man, but I’ll be back in town on whatever the date you’re gonna be back. You know, if you want to chat it’d be great, but it’s not fair for you to go and hook up with some other guy in the Hamptons and then you get mad at me for dating women in Europe when it looked to me like you just blew me off and rode off into the sunset with another dude. So I’m still open to seeing you when I get back, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to hit me up.”

I mean, put that all into your own words, but who cares? She flew to the Hamptons the next day. The idea is, I want you to to find a girl that knocks your socks off. Not some chick that’s like on and off for two years. Granted, you were making mistakes and hopefully if you take reading the book seriously and learning it, whatever you were doing to turn her off, to cause it to be on and off all the time, you’ll clean up that behavior because if you don’t, you’ll have the same problems with the next girl. After you’re with her for a period of time, you won’t be able to keep her interest high and she’ll lose interest and the same thing will happen all over again.

Like I said, I would just send her a short text that basically encapsulates, “Hey, you went to the Hamptons with another guy. In my mind, that told me you weren’t interested in a reconciliation and it really truly was over. So I went to Europe and I was really sad at what you did, but like I can’t do anything about it. There’s these cute girls here that like me. What am I supposed to do? Say no? I’m having a good time. However, when I get back, if you want to get together, I’d love to see you. If not, good luck with the dude in the Hamptons.”

That’s all you can really do at this point, dude. So don’t let her intimidate you or back you into a corner. Don’t be apologizing or begging. It’s like hey, she made her choice. Her actions communicated she didn’t give a fuck about you anymore. She preferred to go get her brains fucked out by Chad Thundercock in the Hamptons. So you’re not gonna entertain a double standard where it’s OK for her to date and hook up with other dudes, but it’s not OK for you to date and hook up with other women. It’s like come on, it’s ridiculous.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.