She Seemed Into Me At First. Now She Waits Several Days To Reply. Why?

Some reasons why a woman is really into you then takes days to reply to texts.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who had two dates he thought went well. He admits he didn’t account for the logistics of sex on the second date. When he tried setting the third date she started waiting days to reply and then said she didn’t see his messages. He wonders what is going on and why she’s now doing this to him.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “She Seemed Into Me At First. Now She Waits Several Days To Reply. Why?”

So this particular email is from a viewer who had two dates that he thought went well, but he admits on the second date he didn’t really account for the logistics of sex. And so I guess they kind of met halfway and it wasn’t really close to where he was or where she was.

Anyways, when he tried to set the third date, you can tell instead of inviting her to join him. Then he starts asking her to make decisions and make choices. Which again, that’s the opposite of the book. It’s like going, “Hey honey, where do you want to eat tonight?” And she’s going to go, “Well, I don’t know where you want to eat?” He’s like, “I don’t know. What would you like to do?”

She’s going to be like, “Make a fucking decision already.” So it’s your job as a man to be confident, direct, decisive, and invite the woman to do something with you, to join you for something you probably would already be doing anyways, even if she wasn’t in your life. You don’t ask a woman what she wants to do or what she would like to do. Kind of like the way this guy does.

So he goes from planning dates, but as soon as he basically says, “Hey, how about you be in charge?” She starts jerking him around and taking 24 hours to reply. And then it’s like six days to reply in some cases. And now he’s like, “What the hell happened here?” And on top of that, she also had a breakup a couple of months before they started dating so there’s a good chance that the ex is still in the background.

So it looks like things got a little squirrely after the second date when he was trying to set the third. And on top of that, if I’m a betting man, I’d probably have to assume that the boyfriend’s probably trying to come back into the picture. And so part of what’s going on is she’s kind of stalling him. She doesn’t want to tell him no.

But she kind of dangles the carrot, replies every once in a while, just to keep him hooked and interested until she figures out what’s going on with her ex, or Chad Thunder Cock or whoever she’s hanging out with. And this is the kind of thing that pretty much probably every dude watching this has had happen. So it’s not so much what you say, it’s how you say it.

It tells a woman a lot about you and your level of confidence and competence. So this is why you’ve got to know the book. You’ve got to read it 10 to 15 times because you missed the subtle nuances, because seems like you did good setting the first two dates. And then when he basically says, “What would you like to do, Your Highness?” Then she started jerking him around.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. I’m an avid follower of your work, but this situation has confused me, which obviously means I need to continue reading 3% Man. I’ve read it about four times so far – currently on my fifth. 

Yep, I can tell. I can tell by your responses. There’s so much information in this little 250 page book, especially that it’s the opposite of what society and culture tells us to do, and the opposite of what you think you’re supposed to do. That’s why just reading it once or twice is just not sufficient.

It’s not enough to learn the tremendous amount of information that’s in here. You want to be a Jedi Master of it. So having confusing things like this just never happen again. They’re just part of your past, part of your youth. Part of, you know. Hey, I was young, dumb and full of come back then. I didn’t know any better.

Long story short, I went on a date with a woman and it was great – we spent about four-five hours together, getting drinks at two different spots. She lives one and a half hours away from me.

Oh, man. Imagine an hour-and-a-half away.

So I drove to her. At the end of the night.

I mean, an hour and a half is like it when you’re young or you want to travel, especially to different countries or whatever, or, you know, different parts of the state, that can be fun, but on a day in, day out basis. It’s much nicer to have a chick that’s five, ten minutes away from you.

She lives one and a half hours away from me. So I drove to her and at the end of the night, we made out. All the attraction signs were there for the most part – eye contact, smiling, flipping hair. She did pull out her phone a couple times to answer texts.

Well, that’s obviously rude.

Something I’ve been thinking about as I try to navigate this situation.

If a girl keeps pulling out her phone and texting other people when you’re hanging out together, that just shows she’s not 100% present with you. There’s other things going on in the background.

The night ended with us making out. She told me to text her when I got home – I didn’t. Not purposefully, I just forgot to.

Yeah if you have got an hour and a half drive by the time you get home, you’re probably a zombie. It’s probably late and you just want to crash.

She reached out the next day to see if I made it. I said yes, and used that as an opportunity to set the next date. She said she was busy that week, but the next week would potentially work – she gave me two dates. I chose one, and we locked it in. No contact at all during those 8-9 days. She showed up for the date without having to confirm days prior, or the morning of; she just texted me when she was on her way.

We went to an arcade and had some drinks. It was a shorter date, but there was a lot more petting, kissing, pulling back, and then going back in. The attraction signs were there. We parted ways after listening to her favorite music in my car and making out for about 30 minutes. I understand I made the mistake of not meeting her halfway – giving me an opportunity to bring it back to my place for an opportunity for sex to happen. She lives with her parents, so I wasn’t willing to offer the opportunity to get some wine. And go back to her parent’s home. 

Yeah, that could be a little awkward. Unless she’s got a big place and has her own door and stuff like that, and it’s basically like an apartment. I had a buddy of mine that was a friend. He came from a very, extremely wealthy family. He lived on a very nice area of Fort Liquordale. And if I told you the family was, you would know their businesses and the sports teams that they own.

But I remember, you know, before he moved out and got his own place, it’s like he literally had like a corner wing on the second floor. He had his own kitchen. He had a living room, he had a bedroom. It was like an apartment within their mansion. It was just incredible. And everybody used to joke that his parents had rooms in the house they hadn’t been in in years because the place was so big, but he was a lot of fun to hang out with.

He threw great parties, just a great guy. He doesn’t really drink or party anymore because now he’s the patriarch of his family and his father’s passed away. His uncle’s passed away, who was very wealthy, very famous. And so now he’s slimmed down, he’s lost weight and he’s respectful. But, you know, that was pretty cool. That’s what it reminded me of when I was thinking about that is he had his own apartment. So anyways.

I texted her the next afternoon telling her that I made it home safely. She responded within 10 minutes, saying, “glad you made it back safely!” I responded saying, “I feel like I’ve earned a home game.”

This is where it just sounds so beta. Oh, your Highness, I need an attaboy, mommy. I’ve earned a home game. I wouldn’t have phrased things this way.

I responded saying, “I feel like I’ve earned a home game. You coming my way next time?” She replied two hours later saying, “Sounds good to me!”

I would have said, “Hey, why don’t we get together on my side of town next time? What’s your schedule like?” Because you’re asking a bunch of questions and you’re asking her to make a choice. You go from being confident and decisive and inviting her to join you. To basically, “Hey, your Highness, would you please come my way? I’d like to smash.”

This is where she starts to pull back. For context – you should know that her and her boyfriend of five years, broke up about four months ago. I responded saying this, “Cool, I’ll start planning then – are you claiming this Sunday, the 1^st, or is there a day next week/weekend that works better for you.” Radio silence for three days.

Again. What does the book say? “Hey, when are you free to get together?” I would have just said, “Hey. Next time we get together, why don’t you come down my way? What’s your schedule like? When are you available?” That’s how it should have been phrased. But that communicates a lot about your confidence because right away you go from inviting her to join things to asking her questions and basically making her be the man in the relationship. It’s kind of like the same thing as going, “Hi, honey, what would you like to do tonight? Oh, honey, pick a day that you would like to see me and I’ll clear my schedule for you.”

In my mind, she’s either lost attraction, pulling back to test, or her ex has re-entered the frame. I understand women are like cats, so I just let it be, unperturbed. Three days later, she responds, I quote, “Hi! I’m sorry I never saw this, I ended up picking up a couple extra shifts this week and I’ve been dragging. I don’t think Sunday would be a good idea only because I have a horrible cold and don’t feel good. What does your upcoming week/weekend look like this upcoming week?”

In my mind, I regained attraction because I stayed centered and didn’t double text and chase, so she came back. So, I thought – great, we’ll figure a day out, and set a date for her to come here. I responded three hours later saying, “I can do Thursday the 5^th or Saturday the 7^th this week.” Radio silence for six days.

So again, you basically went from being the man and finding out when she’s available to basically making her the man and getting her to ask you when you’re available. And so you start throwing dates and then she doesn’t even respond for six days. This is the subtle difference. This is what happens when you only go through the book a couple of times. You don’t really learn it. And so you start doing things like this that make you come off as like a woman.

Again. I didn’t chase, I went no contact and let things be.

Which is the right move because dating is like tennis. It says so in the book.

Six days later, her response.

Which seems like a fucking lie.

Was, “Omg I am the worst ever. I was wondering why I haven’t heard back from you but just realized it’s because I never saw this. – I work sat, sun night, Monday night Tuesday night and Wednesday day”.

It’s just much. When are you free to get together? When are you available? When is your schedule open? And then when she tells you, you can just pick a day. See all this wasted nonsense? It cuts through all the bullshit. It’s like shit or get off the pot without really having to say that.

I responded four hours later with this. “Hey (her name) – no problem. Let me know what your end of week/weekend looks like next week.” That was sent about 24 hours ago, and she hasn’t responded. I could be way off, but my thought is that she keeps poking her head back in to see if I’m still here, while there is another guy in the background that she’s interested in more.

Yep. Exactly. Whether it’s the ex or Chad Thunder Cock has beaten up her pelvis. But at the end of the day, you went from being a priority to now you’re on the back burner just. And it really it started as soon as you put her in charge and made her the man and started getting her to try to plan the date instead of you planning it. It’s a subtle difference, but like I said, all we have to do is look at her behavior when it changed.

But again, if the ex is in the background and she was with them a long time, you should expect this kind of pullback and behavior. But a girl that waits six days, that’s incredibly rude. It shows you’re really not that important. But she doesn’t want to just blow you off completely. She’s probably just hanging out with a guy that’s more experience, more direct, more decisive. Probably lives in her town and he doesn’t say, when are you available? My schedule’s wide open for you, Your Highness.

Be it her ex, or someone else. Or maybe I did something to lose her attraction – but if that were the case, why wouldn’t she just ghost me completely. I don’t know, man I’m lost.

Well, again, she hasn’t decided she doesn’t want to see you completely. But the fact she waited six whole days just shows that you’re not a priority to her.

I’m determined to read 3% Man 15 times so I don’t mess up like this in the future. Let me know what you think could be going on here. I’m going to maintain my frame and not reach back out – I’m thinking about ghosting her if she reaches back out with a similar message. Or maybe just like her message and see if she double texts. Any guidance would be fantastic.

Thank you for what you have been doing for decades to help men like myself.

I wouldn’t do anything. You asked her when to get back, or you know, to let you know when her schedule frees up. So next time she reaches back out, as the book says, if she’s like, “Hey, how are you? Or hey, what are you doing?” Just say, “I’m doing great. What’s your schedule availability? I want to see your face.” Be direct, be decisive. Get right to the point. And then when she tells you “Saturday.” Say, “Great. How about Saturday night we meet here?”

Give her the address. Give her the time and see if she confirms it. Don’t do what you’re doing, dude, because you went from being direct and decisive with the first two dates to like I pointed out, making her the man. And when you do that again, if women have been out with enough guys like you that behave that way to know that you don’t really have your shit together.

And so they’re just going to go out with somebody else that’s more confident, probably somebody that lives in the neighborhood maybe, or lives near her, somebody that’s closer because you’re an hour and a half away and you’re already starting to act like a beta when it comes to setting dates. Which is just a bad way to go. It’s like you fumbled the football there, dude. So but again, this is why I say read it 10 to 15 times because you miss the subtle nuances. And it only took to the third date before you just completely came apart there.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.

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