What it means and what you should do if your new romance moves super fast, then she disappears from your life.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who just got bamboozled by a woman he started dating two months ago. It started off hot and heavy and he fell for her really fast. She had recently broken up with her ex.
She said that she loved him one night, and then she disappeared saying her toxic ex was back in the picture and tried to friend zone him. He said no and asks what the hell just happened. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This email is another cautionary tale about how it is so important to keep your wits about you and pay attention to what women do, not what they say, especially if you just got involved with somebody that literally just ended a relationship. Because what ends up happening in a lot of these situations is an insecure woman is not going to like being single. And typically they tend to have a few orbiters in the background when things don’t look like they’re going to go well, or it’s not going to work out with their primary relationship. And then as soon as the primary relationship ends, they’re out hanging out with the male orbiters. And so, they basically take one form of intimacy with the ex and then replace it with somebody new. And that’s pretty much what you see with this particular guy.
Obviously, he was bamboozled. He had no idea about this stuff. And this is the kind of thing that typically leads dudes to find out about my work and lead them to 3% Man. And then they go down the rabbit hole, and eventually end up with Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations – Volume II, which is out now everywhere. Your support is appreciated.
And also, I highly encourage you guys to go to my Rumble video page, Coach Corey Wayne and follow me there, because over the next year or so, I’m going to be transitioning more of my content over to other platforms, as well as paid members only stuff. When I look back, March of 2020 was a really interesting time because I saw an 80% decrease in my new subscribers that I was getting. And I thought at the time, “Oh, it must be just the lockdowns. That makes sense.” But it stayed that way. And I also saw a million views per month less with my video views per month. So, obviously some kind of algorithm change happened.
You can call it shadow banning, whatever you want, but that’s just the nature of the world we live in. The leftists pretty much run everything, and if they don’t like your opinions or the way you say things, you just get deboosted. So, if you want to see how quickly that happens, just go to my TikTok account, @CoachCoreyWayne. You can go back to February of 2022. I had a video hit 150,000 views in a couple of days, and then my account just got whacked after a few weeks of that. And now when I publish a video, it barely gets 50 views on the first day. So, it’s pretty obvious what the shadow banning looks like. But, hey, that’s the way it is.
This one is a real headcase. I met this girl and we hit it off immediately. The first time we met, I arranged the date, and she reached out every time after. Admittedly, we moved far too fast. The blinkers were on and I fell for her quick!
Maybe he should have said ‘blinders.’ I don’t know, maybe he’s from the U.K. Maybe they say ‘blinkers’ instead of ‘blinders.’
We had both come out of previous marriages, and she had more recently stopped seeing a guy.
So, that’s the recent breakup. Women who come from a good family aren’t going to go from dude to dude. They want a real connection, and real connections just don’t happen very often. There’s plenty of people that are attractive that you could sleep with, but somebody you deeply connect with on a soul level, you actually like listening to them, and they like listening to you, and it’s easy and effortless to be with them, it almost never happens. How often do you meet a new best friend? It’s just, good people who are good to you, good for you, good for your soul, don’t come along very often.
One more thing is that she has a very young daughter from her previous marriage.
For two months, we were pretty much inseparable. It was a very intense physical relationship with a lot of sex. She would continually tell me how deep her feelings were and how she had never found such a connection with someone so fast. She told everyone about us, including family, (I thought this was too quick).
It was, because she was going from intimacy with one dude, the ex, to you. And when you do that, you don’t really take any time to heal or to get over it.
She also told me I was the only guy to ever make her orgasm from penetration, (she confirmed this by showing me a message she posted to her closest group of friends).
Well, you’re a stud, apparently. You’re a legend.
Long story short, one evening we had the best sex ever. She then spent hours telling me how she wants to be with me and has started picturing me in her future.
Sounds good, right? What do women do? It doesn’t matter so much what they say. But that sounds good. And a man who’s inclined to believe that, who’s gotten dopey, and is in la-la land, and has seen one too many movies, coos like a dove.
She did explain how she was concerned about how I would react to the mum version of her.
Yes, this guy must definitely be from the UK.
When she was telling me of all her feelings, she looked as if she were going to cry with happiness.
Crocodile tears, apparently.
She invited me to stay at hers the whole following week. Anyway, the next day she goes cold.
She must really be satisfied.
Two days later, she reaches out to say how terrible she’s been and that, because her daughter was going away, she tends to dissociate.
So, in other words, she’s got some problems. I’m sure there is plenty of stuff about attachment, attachment theory, whatever you call it, if you want to read about that, but the reality is, what do her actions communicate? She’s a little messed up.
Then she went cold again. Another two days later she reaches out and sends me an essay text message at midnight saying how she’s so worried and overwhelmed by her feelings and made mistakes in the past by moving too quickly.
This is where she’s now pumping the brakes and backing up. This all sounds legit, right? You go, “Oh, okay. Yes, sounds legit.” What really happened is, you don’t know it yet, but the ex-boyfriend came back in the picture. But this is the rationalization. Remember, people make their decisions based on their emotions – obviously, she’s still in love with the ex – and they use logic and reason to justify their decisions. And that’s what she’s doing here. She’s using logic and reason to justify her behavior, when the reality is the ex came back in the picture.
We arranged a phone call where she apologized over and over for the distancing, and she asked me to come over later that week. She set the time and day. She then sent me another essay text message the next day saying she knows why she has distanced herself, and it’s because the guy she used to see phoned her, and she realized she still has some feelings.
This is what happens when you get involved with somebody who just had a breakup. They’re going to be all over the ice. I learned this the hard way when I was younger. And it’s not fun being on the receiving end of this. This guy, it’s probably the first time anything like this ever happened. He’s like, “Wow, this is fate. We’re meant to be. This is amazing. I’ve never felt this way. I’ve never had a girl feel this way about me.” And then, “Oh, I’ve still got feelings for my ex. Shucks!”
She said this guy is completely incompatible, (he’s unhealthy, smokes like a chimney, is selfish and needs mothering).
Oh, she’s going to fix him.
And she would never introduce her daughter to him.
Yep. Again, there’s no logic in this choice. It’s just strictly emotions.
On top of this, he’s moving to another country. The only reason she has a bond with him is because he’s the best friend of her ex-partner who died in a tragic accident.
Oh, so she started hooking up with her former boyfriend’s best friend. Obviously, he was helping her with her grief therapy when her boyfriend died, and he slid right in there.
Her decision now is to step away from dating altogether.
You know, sounds legit. “I’m going to have to take a step back from dating altogether. I’ve got to work on myself.” What she’s really saying is, “I need to step away from dating you all together, because I want to start fucking my ex again.”
And maybe way down the line if we come across each other, maybe we can hit it off again.
“Oh, wow! That’d be swell. I’ll just wait around for that.” I love this next one…
She did ask to be friends.
Oh, that’s so nice of her. She’s such a humanitarian. She’s really caring.
To which I made it clear this was not an option.
Because she belongs to the streets!
A few days later my friend spots her on a dating app with an updated profile.
Hey, she had to take a step away from dating all together… just dating him. See how that works?
What do I do now?
Block her number. I mean, this is not somebody you’re going to have a healthy relationship with. This is also not somebody that’s honest. She’s got an ex in the background. She’s lied to you. She said that she needed to take a step back from dating altogether.
So, what happened – and this is more than likely because this guy is new to my work – he thought she felt the same way. Maybe she did at first. But if you look at her actions, he probably got all dopey and emotional, and she went from having high interest to low interest. And when she said, “I love you,” that was like a mercy “I love you,” like a mercy fuck, if you will. “Best sex ever!” She left him with a smile on his face, at least.
Is she very confused, or did she lie to me?
What is the correct answer, class: A) She’s confused, B) she lied to him, or C) all of the above. I’m going to go with C.
It’s been no contact for two weeks.
The reality is you’ve got a fuck buddy on your hands. You never raw dog a girl like this, bad way to go. Personally, if you’re looking for a relationship with somebody that’s going to be healthy and monogamous, it’s not with this girl, based on her behavior. Hey, you had a nice fling for two months, but you got dopey and you’ve got some blind spots. But the good news is you’ve now come across “3% Man,” so we can correct your behavior. No more ratchet girls like this.
But the reality is, you’re obviously looking for romance and a relationship, and she’s a liar and she’s obviously messed up. And it’s not your job to fix her or save her. Remember, she’s trying to save her ex-boyfriend who smokes like a chimney and she would never introduce to her daughter, so she’s got she got lots of problems. And you don’t want all of her “lots of problems” to become your problems, because life is tough enough.
We all have enough difficult things on our plate without getting involved with a fruit loop or taking somebody like this back. But if you’re a glutton for punishment, I know a lot of guys are because the thirst is real, then let her do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. Don’t go to her. Don’t meet her out. Don’t pick her up. Don’t take her on dates. Don’t spend any money on her. If she wants to see you, invite her over to make dinner together in the evening. Hang out, have fun, hook up.
And if she says, “How come you never take me out? We never do anything. How come you never come over?” just say, “Well, you just had a divorce. You’re still talking to your ex, and you’re on a dating app, so you’re obviously confused. And I don’t want to lead you on. I’m just not interested in getting serious. I’ve seen enough to know that you’re a great girl. We can be friends with benefits, but I don’t want anything more with you. Let’s just do that.”
Obviously, I’m just kind of being a smartass, here. You want to say it in a more tactful way. But the reality is this is not somebody you’re going to take home to meet your family. This is just a girl who you’ll enjoy the sex with until you find a woman who has integrity. But if it were me, I would have been like, “Hey, thanks for the pussy. I’m out of here. Goodbye. Thanks, but no thanks. Denied.” That’s what I would do if I were you.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Remember to go to my Rumble page @Coach Corey Wayne and start following me there. Make sure you also go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, and subscribe to the email newsletter. Because, again, over the next year I’m going to start transitioning away from putting so much content on platforms where it’s not appreciated. And I can have the content on my own platform for my members only, for people that are my most raving fans. That’s the way it is. You’ve got to think of yourself, because obviously the tech companies sure are.
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. **Free with a new Audible.com membership
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: [email protected]
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur