She Wanted To Be Celibate After A Religious Retreat Update

An update to the previous newsletter she wanted to be celibate after a religious retreat.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who doesn’t appear to be following what I teach or suggested after his girlfriend stopped sleeping with him after a religious retreat. He says I was right about her low interest and she dumped him a month ago.

They are in no-contact and supposedly can’t see other people until they talk. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So if you remember back in, I think it was early June, I did a video Newsletter for this guy that basically said his girlfriend of two years wanted to be celibate after she came back from a religious retreat, and I told him that what really happened is she lost respect and attraction for him. She no longer felt safe and comfortable with him, and she didn’t want to sleep with him anymore. So it’s pretty clear after reading his email that he hasn’t listened to what I’ve said.

So he says about a month ago, she actually dumped him and he says, “You were right about the low interest.” I mean, at the end of the day, if you’re going to seek my advice, I give it to you and I tell you what to do, and then you’re going to do the opposite of it, you shouldn’t be surprised that you’re in the situation that you’re in. I told you the way it was last time, but obviously it doesn’t sound like you wanted to hear it or weren’t ready for it, but at least we can go over this so the other members can see where you’re at and learn something from it.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

Hope you’re doing well. I’m writing you to follow up on the previous newsletter you answered, Girlfriend Of 2 Years Wants To Be Celibate Until Marriage After A Religious Retreat.

Well again, the reason why women stop sleeping with you is they don’t feel safe with you. They don’t feel comfortable with you. They don’t respect you. They don’t feel safe with you as the leader. They don’t see you as somebody that can lead them anymore, and they don’t want to risk a pregnancy and everything that comes along with sexual intimacy. So if your girl stops sleeping with you and doesn’t want to, you’re in friend-zone. You have a roommate. You’re not lovers. When the sex and the intimacy stops, that’s the end of the relationship. You’re just friends at that point.

So you were right about the low interest. She dumped me a month ago. For context: After telling me about being celibate until marriage…

Yeah, that’s the other thing. She says, “Oh, I want to be celibate until marriage.” Meanwhile, I can’t remember how long they were together. Two years they were together. That’s right. Two years of sex and romance. Now all of a sudden, “Oh, yeah, I’m going to wait till marriage. What she’s really saying is, “I just don’t want to fuck you anymore,” and she’s giving you the excuse that she wants to be celibate until then, because what was really going on is she wanted you to put your personal life on hold while she explored romantic connections with other men. That’s what really happened here. She wasn’t ready to do you in, but she didn’t want to sleep with you anymore because she’d already kind of left the relationship.

…I chose not to leave her despite the pussy embargo, weak ass bitch move on my part. I take the blame for it.

I was like, “Well, that’s good,” but at the end of the day, if you don’t correct your behavior, taking the blame is not really taking the blame. If you take ownership of it or extreme ownership, as Jocko Willink would phrase it, then all of this is your fault. You sticking around, it’s your fault. Her losing interest and respect to the point where you bought the the whopper lie that is, “Oh, I’m going to be celibate because I’m religious again.” It’s like, bullshit. She’s just not turned on by you, doesn’t respect you as a man, and no longer wants to be sexually intimate, but she wasn’t really ready to completely pull the plug on your relationship until she was ready. So she gave you excuses that sounded legit and logical and they make sense, but it’s not even anywhere close to being based upon reality.

After thinking on what went wrong, I realized that I became needy and unreliable.

Yeah, you weren’t the man in the relationship anymore.

Before breaking up, I suggested taking a month for us clear our heads…

Like, what good is that going to do? Clear your heads…

…But she was having none of that and then dumped me. After the break up, I told her that I don’t want to be friends with her and to contact me if she changes her mind. Couple of days went by and she reached out. I tried to set a date, but she told me it was too soon for that and if we got together in person, the breakup would have been for nothing. I told her, “OK. Talk to you later.” Right after, she responded, “Hey, before you leave, can you reflect on how to fix this relationship?”

Well, if she detected that, I would be like, “Well, we should have kept dating, making love, seeing one another and making the effort, but you told me you no longer wanted to make the effort. So the reason why our relationship is not fixable is because of you. It takes two to tango, and you didn’t want to be my tango partner anymore. So the reason why we’re no longer together is you. You fucked it up. Therefore, if it’s fixable, you got to fix it. You got to show me that you’re willing to make the effort because otherwise you’re not. I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth,” but he didn’t do that.

Another two weeks passed and she reached out again, telling me that she wants to take this break. My question is: What should I do now? I want this girl back and I’m reading the book. Should I wait for her to reach out even if it’s longer than a month?

Where did you get the month? It’s because she wants a break. She broke up with you. So here’s another little caveat to this, which is just absurd because she’s not following this, but he’s so much of a beta male that he’ll happily comply.

We agreed on not to see other people during this period.

Yeah, right. If you believe that, I got a bridge to sell you.

How long should I wait if she doesn’t reach out?

Yeah, if I were you, you’re not together anymore. So here is what she’s really doing, because she knows you’re too much of a pussy to stand up to her and call her out and say no. What she’s really doing is she’s trying to see if she can find anybody else. So she’s actively looking for and probably going on dates with other men, even if it’s just supposedly talking to them or friendly drinks, and in reality, she’s trying to line up your replacement. The reason why she says, “Oh, we’re not allowed to see anybody else,” what she’s really saying is you’re not allowed to see anybody else, but she could do whatever the fuck she wants, and then she can just go, “Oh well, I met this guy and it just kind of happened. It’s just, I get so overwhelmed and we just end up sleeping together. I couldn’t say no. It just happened so fast.”

That’s what you’ll get. You get some stupid excuse like that, but in reality, what she wants you to do is put your personal life on hold while she goes to ride the cock carousel and see if she can find anybody better. That’s what’s really going on. So in reality, if it’s good for her, it’s good for you. She said she wanted a break. She didn’t want to be together. She didn’t want to come see you when you invited her over. I would have never fucking agreed to not see other people. That was just stupid. So it’s like my work is not going to help you if you’re going to listen to it and then do the opposite.

My therapist tells me I should text her to clear the air if she doesn’t reach out. I need your wisdom, Coach. 

Thank you for everything!

Kind Regards,

Bob

Clear the air about what? If your ex doesn’t reach out to you after a month of this, what that means is she met somebody else and moved on with him and she don’t give a fuck about you. You’re so unimportant to her, she’s not even going to let you know that she met somebody else and moved on, because it’s not even worth the calories that she has to expend on her little fat thumbs to bang on her cell phone to text you, to tell you that she’s moved on with somebody else. She’ll just ride off into the sunset because she don’t care. Elvis has left the building.

If I were you, I would be reading the book and be out there meeting and dating other women and I wouldn’t go back to this girl. I wouldn’t even give her another chance. It’s like, why? She’s clearly trying to date and see if she can meet anybody else. It’s the only reason she wanted you to stay loyal to her, but she’s clearly not staying loyal to you. That’s why she said she wanted the break. You’re not officially together. She’s trying to find somebody else, so she’s trying to find somebody else. You should be trying to find somebody else. As I talk about in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, which I’m sure I referenced in the last video that I did for you, she fucked it up, she’s gotta fix it. When a woman breaks up with you, you don’t keep calling and texting or make phone calls in a month to clear the air. There’s nothing to clear. Your girl told you she’s very clear that she doesn’t want to work things out. Now she wants to go see if she can find another dick to ride. That’s what’s really going on, and she probably is. She just not telling you what she’s really up to, but you’ve been pretty gullible to where you believe all the bullshit coming out of her mouth.

So I know that’s a harsh reality, but somebody needs to shake you to wake you the fuck up, because after I was nice enough to do the first video newsletter for you, you didn’t listen to anything I said. You’re still doing it your way and it’s not fucking working. So it’s like, pathetic and weak for you to reach out after a month. This woman dumped you and blew you off, and 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says she’s gotta earn another chance with you, not the other way around, and you’re still in the mindset of thinking that you need to earn her back. She fucked it up. It’s not fixable unless she’s willing to make the effort. If she reaches out, you invite her over one more time to try to make a date, to make dinner. If she doesn’t want to do that, then never, ever bring up getting together again unless she brings it up first.

If I were you, I’d be actually reading the book and taking this shit seriously and taking your life seriously. Unless of course, you like being a cuck. Maybe you can go to the local furniture store and buy yourself a cuck chair, so you can sit in the corner and watch your future women have sex with other men because that’s the way you’re behaving. You’re not acting like a man. That’s why she does this, because you’re not man enough to stand up to her and tell her no and “No, thanks.” You should take a step back, look at this and realize she moved on, and the only way you’re even going to hear from her is if she doesn’t find anybody else, and she’s just stirring the pot to keep you on the hook a little while longer while she takes more time to try to find somebody else or continue dating the guy she’s dating that she doesn’t tell you about. So she ended it. She fucked it up. She’s got to fix it. It’s all laid out in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.

Again, I’m surprised that you asked me what you asked me at the end of your email, because it doesn’t look like you even bothered to review it. It’s all laid out for what you need to do, but again, you’re not listening to what I teach and it’s absurd for your therapist to tell you to reach out in a month if you don’t hear from her to clear the fucking air. Clear the air? About what? The only reason you’re going to hear from your girl at all in the future is if she doesn’t find anybody else, and if she does find somebody else, she’ll just keep dating him and never contact you again. That’s how cold she is. Women can be like that. They can be ruthless. I say it all the time, if you act like a bitch, women are going to treat you like a bitch, and that’s clearly what she’s doing here. She don’t fucking care. So if you’re not important enough for her to keep dating, seeing you and sleeping with you, then she’s not important enough to you to put your personal life on hold for blue balls and nothing, because you’re getting nothing from her. You’re getting no effort, no interest, no sex. There’s nothing going on. Your relationship is over. She moved on. All she did was dangle the carrot because she knew you would probably wait around for a couple of months, hoping that she would change her mind while she can get dicked down by Chad Thundercock and have guys run train on her or whatever the fuck she’s doing when you’re not around this crap about, “Oh, I’m gonna be celibate until marriage.” It’s like, no, she’s not. She’s fucking liar. Don’t believe bullshit like this, dude.

Have some self-respect, my man. You deserve to have a woman who’s got an attitude of like, “Hell yeah, I’d love to see you!” So don’t fucking waste your time with this kind of nonsense. Read the book, read and watch the video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back that I did many years ago and follow what laid out for you, because if you’re not going to do what I suggest and you want to do it your way, well then good luck with that. You know, save us the emails in the future and maybe give you your copy of my book to somebody who actually has the balls to apply it then. It’s like, come on, man!

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly.