Why she’ll be back is the right cocky, playful attitude and vibe you need to give off when trying to re-attract women who lost attraction for you.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss a partial email success story from a guy who was with his wife for seventeen years and is recently separated. He admits that he has been out of the dating game for a long time but found my work after having difficulty attracting a new woman he really liked.
What I liked about his email is that he is saying things I would not have said and making minor mistakes, but he is still getting the results he wants. He went from getting blown off, jerked around and being tested pretty hard by this new woman, to her being flexible, submissive and having a complete attitude change. It’s a great illustration of how the power of non-attachment and having a playful and charming attitude creates attraction and causes women to like and chase you more. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Everything that’s in my book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” this is meant to be a guideline. It’s not etched in stone. It’s not totally inflexible, and if you do one thing wrong it will never work out. The idea is, you want to do more things right than wrong. And if you haven’t read my book yet, you can read it for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. All you’ve got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter.
You can also my second book “Mastering Yourself,” which is all about figuring out your purpose and mission and aligning your life with your true calling. But obviously for the purposes of this video, we’re going to be discussing what’s in “How To Be A 3% Man.”
Love the videos and read the book once through. (Since I have semantic memory, I have retained a lot of the info.)
Well, unless you have a photographic memory, you’ve got to read it 10-15 times. As a guy who’s about to critique your email, you didn’t do everything perfect. You definitely can get better. Don’t be cocky. I’ve had people who are pretty smart and have a high IQ come through many times over the years, like “I don’t need to re-read this fucking thing. I went through it once. I skimmed through it. I’m a smart guy.” And I end up doing phone sessions with those dudes.
I just wanted to let you know “you’re a genius.” Here’s my story.
My wife and I were together for 17 years, and we recently separated. Now we are friends and treat each other like brother and sister. After one week, she had her replacement guy, (really no big deal, we were over for a lot longer than we would admit). About 3 weeks after, I started talking to a friend of hers, (NOT her BEST friend, I know the rules), and we got along pretty good. However, each time I asked her to hang out, she came up with excuses.
Remember, as I talk about in the book, you’re going to ask her out twice. If you get blown off or jerked around — because you want somebody that’s excited to make plans with you — if you try to make plans twice, and they’re lukewarm or they won’t, you’ve just got to let them be. “Give me a call if you change your mind.”
That’s the point where, I’ve extended an invitation twice, she acts like my invitation is worthless, and therefore, I don’t want to spend my time with somebody who doesn’t value what I’m bringing to the table. You’ve got to move on. That’s what self-love does. It makes you move on and say, “I deserve somebody that reciprocates and cares. I don’t care how fucking long it takes. I’m gonna to find it.” That’s the attitude that you want to have.
And after the third time, she told MY ex she wanted to try and patch things up with HER ex-husband. I thought I lost the war, when in reality I only lost the battle.
You hear something like that and you think, maybe that’s one of the reasons why she wouldn’t really set a date. Because she’s not so sure that things have ended with the ex-husband. It also could have been an excuse. You don’t really know. The point being is, if you look at her actions, she wouldn’t make a date. That’s the only thing that matters.
Then I found COREY WAYNE videos, and it started a chain of events that would change my very course.
As I watched the videos and read the book along side in another tab, I started to learn the rules. Being gone for 16 years and not having much experience dating before, honestly, I never REALLY knew the rules of attracting a girl. My ex liked me quickly, and so did the other girls before her, so I didn’t really have to try hard. But this new girl was a mystery, so I turned to the internet, and Corey helped me find the error of my ways.
Once I learned attraction comes from comedy, I figured all my years of watching sitcoms could come into play, and believe it or not, it DID!
It’s not so much repeating or regurgitating what you heard in sitcoms, but those little quips, those things I’ve used over the years in videos, some of those things I’ve picked up from movies or TV shows I watched where I heard something funny. I was like, that’s a great line, or that’s a great comeback. You memorize those things, because they’re funny as well. They’re witty, funny comebacks.
Watching all those quick-witted comedians and Corey himself helped me start down a NEW path.
This girl is around my age, A Sagittarius, and they are the HARDEST ones in the astrology chart to figure out. So needless to say, this was a BIG challenge for me, but with Corey in my corner, I stood strong. Now, about 2 weeks into watching videos and reading the book, I was ready to start applying things I was learning.
My last text to her BEFORE learning what to say basically gave her a small guilt trip saying I’m a catch, and its your loss. (I can admit my mistakes.)
So he’s trying to manipulate her and make her feel guilty in order to get her to go out with him. And that’s a little bit of the vibe of, I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m worthy to you.
And that got the “I’m not looking for ANYONE” speech. You know THAT speech.
So obviously she felt the pressure. You gave her the vibe that, “I’m looking for a girlfriend. I’m looking for a relationship,” and when you haven’t even been out on a first date yet, that’s like proposing to a girl you met five minutes ago. It’s not going to work out in your favor.
However, my NEXT interaction with this girl went quite differently because I applied some of what I knew and what Corey was teaching, (no pressure, we’re cool type attitude). This is what I wrote: “Friends is cool. I’m just new to friendships again. I was in a 17-year relationship as well.”
Well, I would have never mentioned being friends only. You can playfully say, “Well, I’m not looking for anything either, but you know, maybe friends with benefits? Maybe we can do something like that. I don’t know you well enough.” That’s a good way to throw it out there. You never ever agree to being just friends.
So, with that said, come on man. You’re not interested in being friends. You only agreed to be friends because you thought, I don’t want to lose her. And that’s part of what makes this pressure point so difficult. But like I said, we all know he’s going to have success anyway. But for everybody else watching, that’s not what you want to say.
“I’m just a stickler about sticking to schedules and my own morals. I know you’re not ready for anything serious, and I’m not trying to push anything, I do like you, but I’m actually a very patient person. I survived many years of my life on my own, even in a relationship. Don’t worry, we’re cool.”
Then SHE wrote back: “Thank you. You’re the first guy to say that.”
So in other words, in his artful way if you will, he articulated, “I could take it or leave it. I’d be cool if it worked out, and if it doesn’t, that’s fine too. This isn’t my first rodeo sweetheart.” That’s kind of what he’s saying to her. And at the end of the day, he gave off the right vibe, because she’s like “Oh, I really appreciate that.” Because the average guy is usually going to get upset when he hears that, like “What’s wrong? What, do you think you’re better than me? Why don’t you like me?”
Then the NEXT DAY, I received THIS message: “Hey hun, just saying hi how are ya? Was thinking ‘bout ya, so thought I would see how you are.”
That’s a good sign. That means her attraction went up.
And the Tennis match was Started.
Obviously, in reference to the videos I’ve done over the years. I did one called, “Dating Is Like Tennis.” You hit the ball over the net, and you wait for the girl to hit it back. Women that are interested will actually hit the ball back. In other words, they will continue the conversation. Women that aren’t will just ignore you. And that’s okay too. You get your information.
It went good for a week or so, then came the first of what I considered to be a “blow off.” She said she was coming to visit for hours and hours, but then I had enough and said: “Maybe something came up, life happens. Sucks we missed each other, but I’m getting tired. I’d like us to meet up. Check your schedule and see what works, then get back to me.”
So in other words, it sounds like she hadn’t gotten in touch, and there’s a little bit of butt-hurt in that, because he’s really trying to get her to come over. That’s what he wants.
She wrote back: “No I’m coming, unless you want to get out of the house and meet at my house.”
You notice, she’s trying to change the plans — right out of the book. Remember, he agreed on friendship when he communicated, in essence, he’s interested in romance.
This is a common thing that women will do, “I’m not coming to your place, but hey, you can come over to mine.” Then you agree to that, and she’s like, “I’m actually feeling kind of tired. I think I’m just going to go to sleep now.” And then, they’ll take it away as quickly as you jump all over that.
So, I said: “Nope, sorry. I told you, I have strict morals on time frames, and I’m a man of my word. If you wanna hang out another time, that would be great. I’d love to see you. Check your schedule and get back to me.”
He’s basically saying in essence, “we had a plan and you’re not sticking to it. You never came over when you said you were going to, so I’m gonna go to bed now.” Normally, women get upset. And what does the average pleaser guy say that doesn’t know any better? “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” And they’re like, “Well, okay. Just don’t do it next time. I’m gonna go to bed now.” And of course, they never get together.
But he is not going along with her agenda. She did say she was going to come over, and he’s holding her accountable. She said, “I’m coming over to your house.” Then after not coming over, she’s like “Well, come over to mine,” and he’s like, “No.“
She got quite upset with that and wondered why I was being so mean, so I wrote: “I’m trying to be a man, and a man sticks to his word. You said you were coming a bunch of times, and now the whole day has gone by, and now I’m getting tired, that’s all. You can come if you really want to come, I’m up for about 10-15 more minutes.”
Keep in mind, she’s still trying to intimidate him. And why would she be doing that? Because again, he said he’d be okay with being friends. I’ve pointed out already, if you give off that wrong vibe and then you start acting strong, they’re going to test you to see if you really are all that, or if they can intimidate you. You can see, this is like the second or third time she’s tried to intimidate him to get him to change his mind.
This is the subtle way, without most guys realizing it, they fail tests of their strength. And they have no idea what’s going on. She’s trying to jerk him around and see if she can get him to change his mind and jump through his butt to accommodate her. Deep down, she doesn’t really want that, but she’s trying to see if she can get away with it. Because if she can, it means he’s a bitch, and therefore unattractive, and she’ll blow him off. But if she can’t, it’s going to create attraction.
She got more upset and accused me of being upset that she said she didn’t want to date right now.
So now she’s throwing something else in there. Women are pretty creative like this.
So, being “Corey Wayne” like, I responded with: “Honestly, I’ve been learning a lot about women in past few weeks. I’m NOT butt-hurt about being friends. I’m really just a stickler on certain things, and I’m really getting tired, that’s all.”
Well, again I would have never admitted the thing about the friendship. I would not have phrased it that way. I would have said, “I’m not upset. I’m just tired. You told me you were coming over, and then you didn’t follow through. Your words and your actions didn’t match. And I really like nice girls who say what they mean and mean what they say. If you want to come over, I’m going to be up for another 10-15 minutes. And if not, we’ll do it some other time. It’s okay.” That’s how I would have worded it.
She said I wasn’t being a good friend to her.
Oh, now she’s using a guilt trip.
So, I said: “If I was really your friend, you would have paid attention to the time.”
That’s a true statement. In other words, if you really cared you would have followed through on what you said instead of being a flake. I like it that he’s calling her out on her bullshit and her flakiness, because she deserves it.
“You kept saying you were coming, then more time kept passing. I’ve ALWAYS been a stickler on times, and I was losing the energy to stay awake and have a coherent conversation with you.” She got mad one more time, so I responded with, AND THIS might be the KEY thing that changed the tides: “Look, I think you’re a great girl and I’m NOT your parent, so you won’t be getting a lecture from me, but I do REQUIRE respect from potential girls I like, my friends and my family. I may be a stay-at-home dad, but I value myself and my time. If you want a strong, confident guy in your corner, that’s NOT going to pressure you into anything, great, that’s me. But friends that like one another will call each other out on stuff that bothers them.”
Again, I don’t like the fact he’s using the “F” word, because you’re again reinforcing that you’re just platonic friends.
What happened next, you ask? That is the million-dollar question. Well, the next day started like any other day. I was picking up dishes and helping my son, and LOW and BEHOLD, WHO shows up on my doorstep? That’s right! She came to APOLOGIZE to me!
Isn’t that interesting. She’s upset, she’s pissed off, she’s tried to intimidate him a number of times, tried to guilt him, made him feel bad, and all the while, deep down she knows she’s being a fucking rude, disrespectful bitch every time he called her out on it. And what happens? She comes and apologizes to him. This is a sign of a good woman. A good woman will say, “I’m sorry for being a bitch. I was really being inflexible, and I’m sorry.” That’s what you want.
A woman who’s just an asshole, ain’t gonna apologize. But this girl did, so I like that. It’s one good thing, just one. It doesn’t mean she’s ready to be your wife or girlfriend or anything. I’m just saying, it’s a good sign. It’s what you want to look for.
I stood up for my values and believed in ME, and THAT changed the tide! Also, we had sex that morning!
Ding, ding! Hang out, have fun and hook up. Despite the fact that he was using the “F” word, he still got laid.
After that day, the messages and visits started happening more and more until SHE was texting ME each day, (minus one day here and there).
Because remember, women might text you a couple of times a day, and then all of a sudden for the next day or two, they just fucking disappear. You’re like “What happened? I thought it was going to grow, and grow, and grow.” No, they get bored, they get comfortable, they don’t make any effort. And then you don’t do anything after a couple of days, and they’re like, “I haven’t heard from him. What’s going on? Is he seeing somebody else? Does he not like me?”
And we visited each other 1-2 times a week. Now I’m at the third week of us getting to know each other and the “mimicking” is starting to happen. She used certain emojis, so I started using them too.
He’s matching and mirroring her behavior. In other words, he’s slowly reciprocating what she’s doing.
Then I would text something for a little while, like “hey babe,” and now she is texting it too.
I give her all the freedom she needs. I NEVER ask, “where have you been?” It’s NOT my business, because we are NOT exclusive, (yet). And I never text again until she texts me, and she really does come back. It’s awesome!
Oh yeah, I really just want to share this “Corey Wayne” style joke I thought of and used on her, which probably helped with the attraction, because she laughed at it after. She wrote: “Yeah I know kidding, and I don’t know what to do. I fell off of something in my parents’ garage, long story. I feel stupid about it.” So, I wrote back: “Maybe you fell off that pedestal everyone puts you on. JK, you’re cool. Talk later.”
So, what do you think? Am I doing good SO FAR?
Hey dude, you’re getting the milk for free. So other than the “F” word and a couple of things you phrased that I wouldn’t have said that way, she got your vibe. She felt your strength. She felt the fact that you were not going to let her intimidate you or jerk you around.
Should I change anything, or continue the course?
Keep doing what you’re doing, but you’re not as smart as you think you are. You need to read the book 10-15 times, dude. I’m not fucking around. Because what happens, guys in your situation are like, “I’m a smart guy. I read it once, I’m getting laid, everything’s great. I don’t need to read your damn book. I’m special. I’m smarter than the rest of your viewers, Corey. I don’t need to do that.”
She’s a cool girl and I’m starting to really like her. Thanks for your help Corey, and I guess this could be a partial success story.
Have a nice day,
Like I said, you’ve got pickup skills, dating skills and relationship skills, in “How To Be A 3% Man,” and you need to learn how to transition through all three. It’s an art, it’s not a science. And if you’ve gone through the book once, I would say you’re 99.9999% chance guaranteed to fail in the long run. In other words, what you have right now is attainable success, but it won’t be sustainable unless you learn the information in the book.
“Women are attracted to men who they can’t have their way with and who they can’t move off of their center. Men who have a playful, humble but slightly cocky attitude that no matter what happens, eventually, they will get what they want. Men who never compromise their goals, values and won’t let beautiful women intimidate them with the potential of losing them forever. As a matter of fact, they playfully dare women to try and find someone better. It’s always better to have a woman seeking your attention and validation, instead of the other way around. Men who try to prove themselves to women only prove that they are not worthy.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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