How allowing yourself to be overcome by a woman’s beauty and sex appeal leads to a loss of power, sexual attraction, interest and respect, and what you can do to avoid the common mistakes most guys make that lead to their rejection for being too weak, compliant and too much of a pushover.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares some success stories about how applying what my book teaches has helped him to get in better physical shape, get a better job and start having some successes with the kind of women he’s always wanted. Recently, he had a first date with a woman he met through a dating app. She did seventy percent of the talking and they had a heavy make-out session. She told him she had wanted to kiss him all night, and then she said she never kisses on the first date. At the end of the date, she was hinting she wanted to blow off her weekend with friends to see him again and asked him to text her. He told her to text him, but then he caved and said he would. Now he’s thinking about deviating from what the book teaches and trying to get her to go out with him this weekend at the last minute, because he says, “She’s so hot!” I tell him what he should do instead, since he is starting to put this woman on a pedestal and compromise his power because he is so taken with her beauty. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
What’s up boss?! I just wanted to tell you how much success I have had after discovering your work. Like you have said before, me finding it was fate. (I’ve discovered there is no such thing as a coincidence. Everything happens for reason.) I’m 24 years old, and I had been down in the dumps for several months: unfit, working a job I hated, and dealing with a serious pussy embargo. After buying your book, I have read it only twice, still working on more, and watching a lot of videos, you have changed my life. (Don’t be substituting the videos for reading the book 10-15 times. You want to get to know the book so well, it becomes instinctual.)
Where do I start? I first focused on myself and started hitting the gym. I got a new job, just started an awesome career, and most importantly, started practicing what you teach. What a 360 degree change there has been in my life. I feel like I saw all my flaws and learned your material quick. I became centered and confident in myself, and most importantly, INDIFFERENT. I have been slaying the ladies lately, and girls have been shocked to see how I have become such an Alpha. Just last night, I went on a first date with a girl I met on a dating app. (You never know what you’re going to get with online dating. That’s why FaceTime chat or Skype video chat can be really helpful before you meet a person.) It was textbook man. When I got her number, I simply set the date with a definitive time and place. I asked her questions the whole time, and she did 70% of the talking. Her little tests were so obvious leading up to the date, such as waiting to see if I would blow her phone up, etc. I hit her with the, “I think you just need to get it over with and kiss me right now” line. She looked stunned for a second, then I leaned in and kissed her. She said, “I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” then a few minutes later tried to test me with, “I don’t kiss on the first date!” (Remember, this is why sex has to be your fault. Otherwise, society teaches that she’s a whore for kissing on the first date or sleeping around.) Then I responded, “Well you sure weren’t thinking about that when your tongue was down my throat.” We laughed and had a great time. (Women don’t want any responsibility for that shit, because then they can say, “It just happened.”) At the beginning of the date, she was talking about how she was going out of town to see friends this weekend, this date was on a Wednesday night, but by the end of the night was telling me how she wanted to hang out with me this upcoming weekend. It was an amazing date, and when we were leaving and making out outside the bar, I told her to text me so we could get together. This is where I hope I didn’t drop the ball. I might have a little. (You should tell her to keep her plans with her friends. Less is more. Take your time, and don’t be in such a rush.) She told me, “I get shy about texting guys first. You text me.” I knew it was a test, so I gave her a James Bond smirk and said, “Well, I guess we won’t hang out then.” At this point, we were both a little drunk. (If you tend to drink too much around women, then you shouldn’t drink.) I think she was taken aback by that answer, maybe gave me a little frown, and I quickly responded in a fun and joking way, “Ha-ha, I’m kidding. I’ll text you.” We kissed some more and went our own way. (I definitely would not have said that. She can tell you really like her. Women know how to manipulate men. When they sense weakness, they’re going to see what they can get away with.)
I feel like I should have stood my ground, but didn’t, and I know how it’s important to wait for them to text first after the date, but God was she hot and so adamant of wanting to hang out this weekend. (If you’re a guy who has lots of choices with women, why would you clear your weekend for this girl? This will change how she perceives you. Women will test to see which guys are worth their time and which ones are not.) My original game plan was to stick to the script and ask her out the following Tuesday or Wednesday for our next date. (That’s what you should have done. When you’ve read my book 10-15 times and you understand the principles, you can get away with pushing the boundaries a little bit. However, when you just know enough to be dangerous with this shit, you’ll throw everything out the window that you’ve learned. You’re not able to mask your insecurities and weaknesses. Then you get sloppy in your game, and her perception of you completely changes.) I have been a little anxious today, because I want to follow the book as closely as possible, but we both know how things can sway away from the script. (Only when you’re too much of a pushover to stand up for yourself.) I am going to text her Saturday, (I definitely would not do that. Don’t text her. Maybe she’ll text you. That’s what you want. You want her to start reaching out to you, and then that is when you make the next date), to see if she wants to go out for drinks and then slow my roll and not ask her out until late the following week. What do you think? (I think you shouldn’t text her at all this weekend and let her wonder. If she really does want to dump the friends, you’ll hear from her. Then she’s the one doing the chasing, and you will never get dumped when you’re getting chased. When you act like the other 99% of guys that she’s meeting, you’ll get blown off. You need to act like a guy who has lots of choices and options with women.)
I know its not a fuck up, because she clearly has a high level of attraction for me. (Look how you’re rationalizing your behavior.) What would you have done in that situation at the end of the date? (I would have told her to check in with her friends and then get back to me. Otherwise, we could chat next week.) Act like I was busy? Not texted her after I said I would this weekend? (I would have never told her you would text her this weekend. Even though your behavior has changed a lot, you haven’t completely changed your vibe. Until you’ve mastered what’s in my book, you shouldn’t be taking liberties with violating the principles in the book, because you’re just going to get undesirable results.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Society tends to brainwash men into believing they need to be compliant, submissive and basically a weak pushover in order to prove themselves as being worthy and nice enough to date. The reality is women want to be treated just like normal people, instead of celebrities men put on pedestals. Just look at what typically happens to men the moment an extremely beautiful woman walks into the room or into their social circle: their body language goes from confident and masculine to submissive and feminine, and they start falling all over themselves to kiss her ass and do things for her. Most guys can’t handle being around a beautiful woman without coming totally unglued and falling all over themselves to get her attention. A woman’s beauty should simply get your attention and interest to see if she qualifies as a potential romantic partner. Her beauty should not automatically qualify her as wife or girlfriend material.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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