Should I Reveal To Women I’m Dating & Sleeping Around?

Why gentleman don’t kiss & tell & you don’t treat her like your priest.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s dating and sleeping around. He read 3% Man, 15 times and has women chasing and trying to lock him down. He feels guilty about having options when before my work he only had scraps. He wonders if and when he should tell women upfront that he’s dating and sleeping around.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Should I Reveal To Women I’m Dating & Sleeping Around?”.

The short answer is hell no. Gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. So this particular guy, he’s a viewer and he’s dating and sleeping around a lot. He’s not really looking for a relationship. He’s read 3% Man 15 times in the last year, he says. And he’s got women chasing and trying to lock him down now, which is, quite frankly, a new problem. He never had that problem before. It’s like he seems like he was used to getting scraps before he came across my work.

Now he’s got all this abundance and he feels guilty. And quite frankly, the first time it happened to me, I felt guilty about doing that. But at the end of the day, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. Women are not going to tell you who and how many other dudes are talking to or sleeping with on average, usually. And there was a video I saw what’s her name, I think Angel Reese. She’s a one of those WNBA players.

It’s been like going back and forth with, what’s her name, Caitlin Clark throwing down in the WNBA and, uh, you know, talking shit about each other in the media and stuff like that. So she was dating some rapper or something like that. And I guess she told them that her body count was 133. And he was like, what? And so he put her on blast and broadcast that to the whole world.

And she was just like minimizing, like, “oh, I’ve got girls that I went to college with that, you know, got a body count in the 300. That’s nothing. Yeah.” Obviously, you know, it’s like she’s like the 7-Eleven, always fucking open. Not a family oriented girl. When you see the way she behaves, you’re like, yeah, just no strong father, you know. And, you know, probably came from a broken home, but she’s great at playing basketball.

And now she’s famous. I assume she’s probably getting sponsor deals and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, the guy she was hooking up with was not too pleased when he found out. I think she’s in her early 20s anyways. She already slept with 133 dudes. That’s a lot of bodies. Yeah, that’s like every weekend. Somebody new in college, maybe multiple dudes, as a matter of fact. So she’s like always saying yes.

And I’m sure probably a lot of those guys were fucking jerk offs anyways. So she probably hangs out and hooks up with losers. And now that she’s kind of famous, now she’s starting to date men that are successful and have their pick of women when she’s telling them what’s going on, you know? So it’s viral, the video is going viral because she went on TikTok going like, “I can’t believe he’s upset about this” and trying to troll him back.

But she just makes herself look like a hoe. So with that in mind, again, these women are not these innocent little angels. They may hook up with a random dude here and there. They’re not going to tell everybody about it. So at the end of the day, gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. It’s you’ve got to think from this perspective, and I talk about this in the book. Does she need to know this information?

Is it going to make me look more masculine and more attractive or not? I mean, you’re supposed to be like James Bond. James Bond doesn’t go around blabbing about who he’s hooking up with or dating. It’s just he never says anything about it. He just kind of smirks.

And so if a girl is like pressing you, which some of them do after like four dates or whatever, and hooking up, you just say, “you know, I want what everybody wants. I want to meet the right girl and live happily ever after. And when that happens, I’ll settle down. But until it feels right and she’s feeling the same thing, I’m a free agent, and I’m going to date until I find the right girl.” That should be your answer.

That’s all you need to say. You don’t need to say, “yeah, I’m sleeping with five other women” or if you’re going out on a date with a girl and you’re about to hook up with her, and you think you need to tell her that you’re sleeping with other women so you don’t feel guilty after you slept with her 4 or 5 times. If she starts wanting a relationship, then that tells me you’re probably hooking up a girl you shouldn’t be hooking up with anyways. You’re not that into.

The whole title of the book is “Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams”. Not How to Sleep with a Bunch of girls that you’re not that into. And just like Angel Reese, it’s like out of those 133 dudes, how many of them had the potential for a relationship and how many of them were just, hey, it’s, you know, a convenient hookup. Probably most of them were just a hookup for the weekend.

Because when you listen to her talk, all the women are family they’re all the same way. All the women are like hundreds of dudes they slept with. Like, it’s totally normal, like for them because again, that’s they come from a broken home. They like the 7-Eleven. Always open. Kind of like, what’s her name? Bonnie Blue. They just don’t do 1001 one day. And she’s supposedly pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is. God, what a piece of work.

Viewer Email:

What’s up, Corey? A little background, usual clueless guy story, mid 20s. I was never good with women, no direction and then started to “wake up” at some point that my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I started working out, eating good, meditating, and resolved to just pick one job and good get as good at it as I can possibly be. After getting fired three times in a row for acting entitled.

Yeah, you shouldn’t be having an attitude.

I found myself in car sales, learned from my mistakes, and after a lot of hard work finished last month as salesman of the month.

Well that’s awesome dude, Congratulations. You can make good money selling cars, especially if you’re selling Bentleys and high end cars. You have to give a little bit better level of service than you do the Toyota Camry sales, but it’s the same process.

And I feel the need to add that I’ve read your book at least 15 times in the past year.

Well, that’s pretty good.

A lot of your viewers write in and they only read the book once and I feel like those of us in the 15+ club are like, “what are you doing, man?”

It’s like most people, major and minor things, they’re lazy. They want the lazy man’s way to sex and pussy. What’s the easiest, least amount of effort that I can put in to get everything I want? But you appreciate things more when you have to work for it.

All that is to say, all the women that I wished I could get a couple years ago I just starting to show up out of nowhere and I feel overwhelmed with choices.

Well, Congratulations. That’s a good problem to have.

A couple months ago I wrote down the 10 qualities I wanted my future girlfriend to have, and I remember thinking if I could just get one quality, I would be happy.

Yeah. So this tells me you’re going out with and sleeping with a lot of women that you’re just not that into. If you’re enjoying that, then you know, whatever all you can eat buffet. But the idea is you should become a little bit more selective instead of doing the shotgun approach or the Angel Reese approach.

Now there are too many women with all 10 qualities. I probably sound like a douche to the listeners, but this is where it’s starting to get a little weird. I don’t really know when and how to bring up to these girls that I’m, for lack of a better word, sleeping with a bunch of women.

It’s none of their business. Does James Bond tell anybody? No. He doesn’t even imply he’s sleeping with anyone. He just is like, I’m an innocent child of God. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Even when, what’s her name? Em confronts him, because you know, some of the girls that he hooks up with end up getting killed in the line of duty. And she’s like, you jerk, you slept with him. And he’s kind of like, well, I’m an innocent child of God. But at the end of the day, they liked him. He liked them, and they were the last person he got to be with.

And he treated him wonderfully. So like, it’s sad that they died, but that’s the nature of being a secret agent. And, you know, even like, um, I can’t think of her name. Usually the girls end up dying. They’re really beautiful. I heard all about you. You’re not getting my pants kind of attitude. And of course, they always end up sleeping with him. They’re like, “oh, James. Oh, James.” So if you’re popular with the ladies, it’s like, remember you guys, the younger guys don’t remember but the older guys that are my age remember Fabio?

It was like he was a dude on all the romance novels with a long blonde hair, looked like a Viking Greek god or something. Just handsome. Girls were creaming their pants over him. And so it was like, you know, the 80s, early 90s. He was just like, you just mentioned the word Fabio. And we were like, because he was fucking jacked. Very masculine, very deep voice. So there’s nothing wrong with having the same problems that Fabio has. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, the whole nine yards. But what happened?

They usually eventually end up with somebody because everybody most people, I should say, like having somebody, they really enjoy their company. So until you find a woman who you really enjoy your company, you’ve got a practice squad, dude. So you can add, you can drop whoever, it’s your practice squad. And if women are starting to give you a hard time after a certain number of dates, they want more and you’re not interested. Just say, “I like you, but I don’t feel the same way. I’d like to just continue being friends with benefits. But I’ll understand if that doesn’t work for you.”

So if they press you, then you can just tell them where you’re at. But until they bring it up, your job is to hang out and have fun and hook up and make sure they really enjoy sleeping with you. And obviously show up and treat him like the book says, and they’ll walk away from the experience either way, thinking, what an awesome dude you are. I don’t know of any of the James Bond movies or the, you know, the women, especially with Daniel Craig, walk away like, “you’re a jerk.”

The ones that are like, you’re an asshole. After that, they hook up with, you’re so amazing. Oh, James, you’re so different than I thought. They know he’s a dog. It’s like Donald Trump and Melania. She knew he was a dog. He was on a date with another woman when she went up and approached him. So it’s like, hello?

I don’t really know if I should bring it up at the very beginning, like hey, before we go out I just want to be honest with you. I’m just dating and having fun.

It’s no, it’s none of their business because you don’t even know if you’re going to sleep with them or not. They don’t need to know. How is that going to help you look more attractive, more masculine. I mean, these girls are not there to be your fucking priest. You’re not there to confess your sins. You’re there to show them a good time and beat up their pelvis so they walk away going, “man, what an awesome guy.” There’s nothing wrong with women walking away going, what an awesome dude.

I’m just dating and having fun or should I bring it up only when they bring it up.

I would only bring it up if you have to. I would only discuss it if they brought it up first and oppressing you, especially if they’re trying to lock you down.

And just assume that they’re assuming that I’m pulling a bunch of girls when they’re not around?

Again, let them fill in the blanks. If they think you’re popular with other women. They will work harder for you. That’s why women like assholes, because the assholes are just sleeping with whoever the fuck they want.

A couple of weeks ago I straight up had a girl tell me on a date: you seem like the kind of guy a lot of women are trying to lock down.

When you hear that, you go, I’m innocent, child of God. She’s like, no, seriously, I think you are. It’s like, well, I like women. Women like me. And I’m just looking for the right girl just like everybody else. I’m sure you’re looking for the right guy. You know, when I find her, I’ll know and she’ll know. And then it’ll just happen. Like in the movies. I mean, you can say this to her. So I’m in no rush. I want to make the right choice.

I want a girl who’s easy going, easy to get along with. She’s nice to me, loves her dad, loves her family, loves her mom, has a good relationship with them. Because those are going to be family oriented girls. They’re going to, you know, you become part of their family. They’re going to want you to integrate with their family. They’re going to want you around because they grew up with that.

I usually admit It’s true, but I always reassure them that I’m not a whore.

Again, a man does not have to explain himself. If you’re popular with women and they like fucking you, it’s nobody’s business. They don’t need to know this.

I always reassure them that I’m not a whore that I’m just “dating and having fun.” But I feel like I’m lying by omission.

Again. It’s none of their business. You’ve got to learn to keep secrets, and you gotta learn to keep it to yourself. Because quite frankly, girls are not, you know, telling you everything that’s going on. Like Angel Reese. The reason why she said it, probably she felt comfortable. And the dude the rapper, I think it was the rapper that she was hooking up with, she was liking him and she felt she could be honest with him.

So she was honest with him and said her body count was 133. And he was like, Holy shit, how do you get 133? I think she’s like 22, 23 years old. He’s like, that’s a lot. And she’s like, oh, it’s totally normal. All the women in our family, they’re all like, they got double that. They got hundreds of bodies. This is like, water’s wet, the sky is blue. So it’s like you don’t try to turn a hoe into a housewife. So again, it’s none of their business. So keep it to yourself.

Is there a certain amount of dates where I should straight up just say it out loud if the topic hasn’t come up?

No. Why do you need to say anything? Do you want her to sit there and start telling you I’m fucking this guy and that guy? You don’t want to talk about those things. You don’t want to go into intimate details about every guy she’s ever dated or kissed. You want to know some things, but you don’t need to know all the carnal knowledge. If you’re vetting for a girlfriend, you want to know, is this girl selective or does she like to Angel Reese the 7-Eleven, Always open, baby.

I just hit date four with one girl, and she asked me why I haven’t had a girlfriend in six years and what it would take for me to get into a relationship, and I said the thought stresses me out.

Dude, don’t say something like, oh, it stresses me out. I can’t handle it. Mommy. Come on dude.

But it would have to be something better than what I’ve got going on now, and in the past 6 years I’ve been dating and having fun, and I stopped there.

I would have just said, well, you know, I’m like everybody else. I want the happy ending. I want to meet somebody, fall in love and live happily ever after, and I’ll know when it happens. So I’m open to it. And so why does she know that you haven’t had a girl in six years? It’s like, why do you even have to talk about that? So again, they’re not your priest. It’s not your job to confess everything.

Giving up all my options and sex partners honestly stresses me out, even though I think it would be nice to be in a relationship.

Well, when you find the right girl, you want to be in a relationship with her, you’ll know. And you obviously haven’t met her yet.

I feel like girls hate to hear that you’re still figuring it out, even though it’s the truth.

Well, again, it’s a need to know basis. And they don’t need to know, dude.

I also don’t want to give up a good thing, just for the sake of sleeping with more women Something I always like to say to close sale is: “If you lost your keys and you found them in the first place, you looked, does it make sense to keep looking?”

Obviously not.

I’ve never had women chase me like this before and it feels good and I don’t feel done exploring, but it also kind of hurts emotionally to go through so many short termers. What’s your take on all this?

Well, you’ve got to go through it. Because at the end of the day, when you date, you get experience and then you get to see what you like and your list of ten things. Maybe some of those things after dating a bunch of different women, you realize they’re really not that important. And then you add some things to that list. So it’s that list can evolve and should evolve over time as you get experience.

And so again, what this tells me is you’re not that selective and you’re going out with a lot of girls that you’re not that into, but maybe they’re hot and you like hooking up and you’re cool to move on. But at the end of the day, it’s their job to win you over and convince you why you should only date them. And until you feel that for somebody and they feel that for you, play ball, man. You’re fucking James Bond. Gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. It’s none of their business.

It’s not going to help your situation by you feeling like you’ve got to regurgitator and that’s feminist nonsense. Feminist nonsense is oh, men have to talk about their feelings and they’re going to be honest and open and tell women everything. It’s like, no, we don’t. That’s bullshit. You’re not a chick, so you don’t need to think like a chick, and you don’t need to act like a chick. Your job is to create the opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun, hook up.

If they enjoy having sex with you, even if it doesn’t work out, they’re gonna, you know, throughout their life. Think back on you like that guy was, he was pretty awesome in bed. They’ll remember that. So if you send women away after they’ve experienced you with a smile on their face, there’s nothing but upside to that. It’s nice to have good relationships with your exes and for them to have a high opinion of you, if you will. That’s something to think about.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.