Signs & Evidence To Look For That Your Girl Is Cheating

Some signs & evidence to look for to determine if your girl is cheating.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares an update on all the signs and evidence he saw that led to him realizing his girlfriend was cheating on him and lying to his face. He also discusses her father and mother’s relationship and other disloyal behavior in the family that he ignored until it was too late. It’s a great email on what to look for during the vetting process to determine loyalty. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne, and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Signs & Evidence To Look For That Your Girl Is Cheating”.

So this particular email is an update from a viewer who I had answered a previous Newsletter about his ex-girlfriend who he’s now broken up with. And so sent this email and he gives a lot more detail and realizes after the last email that I went through that there were a lot of obvious signs that she was disloyal, that he noticed when they were dating, and he just kind of ignored them and proceeded anyways.

And he really got burned by this girl. So apparently she was hooking up with some guy while they were living together, and he noticed, he started spotting the behavior. He saw his name pop up. He asked her about it. She looked him right in the eyes and just absolutely lied to him. However, he provides a lot of evidence as to what her parents relationship was like.

Her father cheated on her mother when she was pregnant with, I guess, her brother or younger brother. And she also cheated on a previous boyfriend. And of course he just. You probably heard me say, once a cheater, always a cheater. You know, this is just the value system.

This is why it’s so important when you’re dating, especially in the very beginning, one of the first things you should ask a girl is, “Tell me about your relationship with your dad. Are you guys close? Do you really love your father? And admire him and look up to him?”

And if she rolls her eyes like, “He’s a narcissist.” Or “He’s a jerk. He cheated on my mom.” Or “He’s a liar.” And you hear things like that and she doesn’t respect her dad. Her dad cheated. Her mom cheated. She’s cheated. Well, that just shows you that that’s her value system. You know, as good as my book is, it’s not going to fix a disloyal woman. It’s not going to fix a woman who’s got character flaws.

It’s going to bring out the best and the best. And it’s designed to work on healthy women, not some ratchet trailer park girl that had more drama than Desperate Housewives. So let’s go through his email. Because this is a really good email, even though we can all feel for the dude. You know, when you read, we go through it. It’s like it’s painful.

You can just imagine what it’s like to go through this. But what’s good about this, and I’m really glad that this guy wrote in so he could share all this valuable information to help everybody be able to spot the signs in case you’re in a similar situation, or you’re about to potentially be in a serious long term relationship, and you’ve already seen some of these red flags yourself.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

You answered my newsletter in your members only podcast. I appreciate your feedback and input. I actually wanted to share some important concepts that I should have paid attention to in the beginning of that relationship, that would have made my brutal experience totally avoidable. 

Well remember the Maya Angelou quote that I say all the time. “When somebody tells you or shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” You know, character is destiny you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. And if she doesn’t have a history of being loyal, her parents weren’t loyal. She probably doesn’t have a value system that values loyalty. It’s plain and simple. By their deeds shall you know them.

Your book 3% Man, does such a great job at pinpointing the most important concepts and values that you should look for in a healthy relationship. So last weekend,  I made the decision to break it off with her for good, as continuing that roller-coaster of lies, and false promises I did not want to anymore, I told her that she should move on with her life, and I would do the same, and wished for her to fix her shit in the future, which I know is very unlikely.

Especially when you consider was she in her 20s or 30s now. It’s like she’s been this way for decades. You’re not going to fix her. You’re not going to change that behavior because that’s normal to her. In her mind. I’ve done plenty of phone sessions over the years with guys that lie and cheat, and they think everybody’s the same way. They’re convinced everybody’s like them. And that’s just how they operate. That’s their value system.

With that out of the way I wanted to share some more information on the chronology of the root causes of such behavior, that I chose to overlook, thinking that if she was to meet a boyfriend that is striving to be the 3% man, she would be happy, and I could be her supporter along the way, helping her overcome the issues of her past. 

So right there, big obvious. He’s thinking, “I’ve got this great book. It’s got these powerful principles and techniques and strategies at work. And I can fix this girl with them.” It’s like, nope, they’re not designed to do that. She revealed who she was, and despite the fact that I often talk about this in videos, he thought, “I can fix her.” And I see often there’s, you know, some Twitter accounts that I follow, and it usually has mug shots of these just incredibly beautiful women. And you’re like, wow, look at her.

And then you read their criminal rap sheet of everything they’ve done and you’re like, Holy shit. And there’s always, you know, a bunch of dudes going, I can fix her, you know, as a joke. But it’s like, no, you can’t. If dad fucked her up, well, she’s probably that way for life. Very rarely will a woman go to therapy. Get self-help. Work on themselves and overcome these things. It does happen, but most of the time it doesn’t. Just because most people tend to major in minor things.

When we initially started dating each other, early on I had a discussion about what her relationship was like with her parents, and as well the relationship between her mom and dad. She shared that her father was very weak emotionally, and that her mom was very narcissistic, always bitched and complained about everything.

Well, he’s not the man of the household. Clearly. He’s a beta male. He’s a doormat. Mom doesn’t respect the dad, and obviously the daughter or daughters are not going to respect the father either. I mean, that’s like game over right there. You’re not going to fix that because dad was too much of a pussy to stand up to the narcissist that he married and put her in her place and he put up with it. He just didn’t want to rock the boat. That’s not an alpha male. That’s a beta male. And so he created a broken home. And on top of that, he’s a low character, man, as you’ll see.

She was not loving to her or her dad. She also shared that her dad cheated on her mom before her younger brother was born, when her mom was pregnant.

I mean, how ruthless is that? That’s pretty brutal. And people go, well, Donald Trump was grabbing women by the pussy when Melania was pregnant. It was like, well, Donald Trump was always a bad boy. He was on a date with another woman when Melania approached him. That’s how they met. She didn’t care. She knew what he was like. She knew what she was getting herself into.

Her dad picked lies over confrontation, to avoid drama with her mother.

So right there, lies over confrontation. So you can’t have honest conversations. You cannot solve problems unless you can talk openly and honestly about them. So if her dad is lying and avoiding confrontation, what do you think that does for the daughter? What do you think that teaches her? Oh, it’s better just to lie. You don’t want to have to deal with anything that’s honest and real. That’s why she looked him in the eye and lied to him. It’s better to avoid the confrontation and admit you were cheating. It’s better just to maintain the lie.

And despite him cheating, her parents never got divorced. My ex would also tell me that she never really got the I love you from mom or dad.

So obviously she’s going to be incredibly insecure. And again, women that tend to be liars, and cheaters tend to be incredibly insecure and narcissistic. Well, I mean, her mother is a narcissist, so that’s pretty obvious how she’s going to turn out when you just look at that. That’s a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, not somebody you’re going to wife up.

Certainly not somebody you think you’re going to fix. But there’s always some dude that’s like, “Oh Coach. You don’t understand. She’s so hot. Her body’s amazing. She’s incredible in bed.” Well, again, you don’t wife up the hoe. And if you do, I mean, there’s plenty of guys in the NBA that do that. And how does that work out for them? It’s very expensive.

That her mom would always bring everyone down, including her dad. This should have been my first biggest red flag, that should have given me the indication not to continue dating her from the beginning.

But the thirst is real.

This was also one of the main things that her mother drilled into her head, that I was supposedly perfect in the eyes of the parents, and that she was not worthy or broken, as the reason to why I wouldn’t marry her up.

Well, I mean, quite frankly, that actually is a pretty true statement. So there was probably a lot of discussions, you know, “Why isn’t this guy marrying you? Why aren’t you getting engaged? What’s going on? What’s taking him so long? Well, there you have it.” So that’s the worldview. “Well, he’s not going to marry you because you’re not worthy or broken.” Oh, well, if she’s not worthy and she’s broken, well, she might as well go fuck somebody else.

When I found out she cheated, I had alarming signs that would indicate that something was very suspicious about the way she acted. Back in August of 2025, I woke up to go to work. we had been living together for two and a half years at that point so I thought I knew her pretty well. Oh boy how wrong I actually was.

I noticed something concerning. I went on my Facebook Newsweek, and noticed that some of my girlfriend’s posts had love hearts beside them, and there were usually likes from her relatives and me, since she didn’t really have a big family friend list, and one of them was the dude that she ultimately ended up screwing with.

So I asked her without intimidation, “Hmm, who is this Bob guy in your friends list that basically love hearts all your posts?” To which she replied, “Oh he’s just a random guy that added me, he can like my posts, I don’t care about that”. To what I was a bit suspicious about, since I know how that attention seeking behavior starts.

That’s just kind of like that. “Oh, honey, you don’t have to worry about him. He’s just a friend. I don’t care about that guy. Oh, that guy’s ugly. I would never date somebody like him.” When you hear shit like that, it’s probably she would. If the phone is face down all the time. If you walk in the room and she’s on the phone and then she leaves the room. I mean, those are just kind of obvious signs that something’s there. If you see some other dude’s name popping up, and she gives you some whopper like that and expects you to eat it and buy it. I don’t think so.

Fast forwarding to a couple weeks, I came back from my trip to the other city, exhausted with the renovations, 3 hour drive one way, very late on a Sunday. It was almost midnight, and strangely my girlfriend was making some food for the next day to follow.

I walked in the house and she told me to, “go change, take a shower, and give you some food”. And then on the countertop I saw texts show up from the same guy from Facebook that I saw a couple weeks prior. So I asked her, what is this? “Is this guy your lover, it’s the same guy from Facebook?”

So if it wasn’t she would have said, “No, of course not.” But did she say that? No. Remember, the longer the excuse, the bigger the lie.

To which she replied, “honey, how could you say something like this, if I ever wanted to cheat on you, I would have already done it.” 

Well, I guess she wanted to cheat on him. And she already did it. See how that works? She admits it in the sense, but she mixes it all up. If I would have wanted to cheat on you, I would have already done it. She doesn’t admit that she wanted to cheat on him. She just said if she did, it’s kind of like OJ’s if I did it, you know, regarding Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman, I believe his name was. If I did it. If I wanted to cheat on you, I would have already done it. Oh, that’s pretty much an admission of guilt right there.

Because, again, somebody that didn’t do it would just say, no, I would never do that. Are you kidding me? That’s not how she said it. Oh, honey, how could you say something like this? How could you figure out that I was cheating on you. If I really wanted to cheat on you, I would have already done it. That’s like her way of saying, yeah, I’ve already fucked him. Past tense. Or have been fucking him. I mean, that’s when you understand what means it’s like that’s an admission of guilt right there.

I replied with, “Wow, well thank you for your honesty, but explain to me how a random guy from Facebook got your number and he’s texting you at almost midnight”. The reply, now that I think about it more, was a total load of shit, since later discoveries opened up the truth. She said, “He must have somehow found my number on Facebook, he can text me, I don’t care about him at all”. 

Oh, honey, you don’t have to worry about him. He’s just a male coworker. He’s married. If I would have wanted to cheat on you, I would have done it a long time ago. It’s like, Holy shit. That’s a blatant admission of guilt, of if I ever saw it.

I was such a fool for not digging further at that moment, being very tired, I choose to ignore the big bold wtf letters in my head.

I mean quite frankly, at this point, you don’t really want to admit that this is going on. But, you know, when I hear a statement like she said, “if I would have wanted to cheat on you, I would have done it already.” That’s like, “Well, I wanted to cheat on you, and I’ve already been cheating. I’ve already done it. You’re too late.”

About a week later I woke up from horrible vivid dreams of her cheating on me. This happened two or three times over the course of a few weeks. I do not know ow how that works, but I guess all of the subconscious alarms were going off.

Your Spidey sense was definitely tingling. Your soul knows.

She asked me what’s wrong, to which I told her I had those dreams, and yet again, she said the same thing to my face, the blatant lies about her honesty and faithfulness to us.

Oh, honey, you know I do everything with honor and integrity. I’m always faithful, until I’m not.

And then one day when she picked me up from work, the guy was bombarding her phone when it popped up on car play. Immediately I knew, that was the end, if that was not a sign, I don’t know what else would be. I told her, we are getting home, and I am checking those text exchanges, as well as explaining to the other guy that she has a boyfriend. She got really scared about the consequences, I noticed, she proceeded to tell me that I am going to make a fool of myself and embarrass myself.

There’s a movie. I can’t think of it. Maybe you guys can post in the comments. It’s a movie with Bruce Willis and he comes home and he confronts his wife and he’s like, “who’s the guy in the closet?” And she starts going, “Oh, you’re nuts. You’ve just totally lost it. Oh my God, you need help.” “He’s like, tell me who’s in the closet?” And obviously eventually the guy comes out of the closet and it’s somebody that he knows that’s been banging his wife.

But it’s the same kind of vibe that just the same, you know, causing a big scene like, “Oh, you’re nuts. Oh, this is ridiculous. You’re really crazy. You’ve lost it now.” It’s a great clip. Maybe I don’t. I can’t remember the name of the movie. Maybe one of you guys know it and you can post it in the comments below. That’d be great.

I told her, no honey, it seems like quite the opposite, and you are about to embarrass yourself. When we walked into the house, I asked her for the phone, she ripped the phone from my hands and deleted the text exchange in front of me. I knew that was it.

I managed to find the guys contacts and got a hold of him, he was also kind enough to share some of the text exchanges that they had, which included nudes that she sent to both us at the same time, as I saw the dates, and time, and later put two and two together, as well some that were directed to him only.

It’s like, what a shitty thing to do. So she’s literally two for the price of one. It’s like, oh, I’ll take some nudes. I’ll send one to my boyfriend that I live with, and I’ll send another one to the guy that she’s cheating on him with. Lovely woman.

After all of that was discovered it was all a big shit show, they guy also told me that she made up a story about that she was still living with me, renting a room from her, that I was not treating her nicely, and that she was only living with me in a separate room, and not sleeping with me for convenience. 

So she’s telling the other guy, “Oh, it’s over, we’re not together anymore. I’m sleeping in separate bedrooms and he’s paying me rent. I’m just helping him.”

To top it all off she told him we had broken it up in the springtime, and that I was apparently abusive to her. So she was basically living a double lie life.

So in other words, mentally, in the springtime she checked out, she, whatever reason, wasn’t happy and just decided that she was going to sleep with somebody else. And it’s like I often say, you could be the best guy in the world, the best boyfriend, best husband, but if you’re with a liar and cheater, it’s just simply a matter of time before they screw up. But again, the evidence was there and he admits to the fact that he saw this. He saw the signs, but he was like, “No, it’ll be okay. I can fix her Coach. I’ve got your book.” It’s not going to fix a broken woman. It’s not going to fix a ratchet. Character is destiny.

The reason I am going so in depth about this is because she also shared to me at the start of our dating is that she was unfaithful to a guy before, and reasoned with me that it is fucked up and she would never do it again moving on forward.

Like, yeah, whatever. I had a friend of mine, her daughter. Beautiful girl. And the problem was, is that her father cheated on her mother many, many times, which ultimately led to them getting divorced. Her father’s grandparents both cheated on each other. So the whole family has a history of lying and cheating to each other’s face. And so she committed to be in a relationship with this guy that she liked, but she wasn’t really that into.

And but she really didn’t want to be in a relationship because she just couldn’t be authentic and real. And so she goes on vacation with her dad, of all people and some other family members, and sleeps with another guy on vacation and then comes back, admits to her boyfriend, breaks down and cries and promises it’ll never happen again. And then he went and boned 2 or 3 girls in the next few days, which pissed her off a little bit.

And so they dated for a little while after that, but they split up. And this friend of mine was like, “oh, I’m sure she learned her lesson. She was really broken up. She’ll never do that again.” I was like, yeah, right. All you’ve got to do is look at her dad’s side of the family. It’s like they all lie and cheat on each other.

She really was a very broken narcissistic girl, who at the time of not getting the validation she wanted, sought it elsewhere. My mistake was believing that a person like that could ever change.

Well, what do I always say? People typically don’t change who they are. They just become a better version of that. And in this case, she just became better at hiding and cheating and lying. But again, all you’ve got to do is look at how Mom and Dad raised her. It’s like you can’t make good wine from bad grapes, dude.

And not do all the shit that she also said was wrong. So the saying really is 100% accurate, “when someone tells you who they really are the first time, believe them”. 

Yep. Maya Angelou was so right.

This will be my biggest life lesson, and I will move on from this stronger, and find the girl who truly deserves a 3% Man.

If, that’s, again, if you want a long-term relationship, if you want to get married, if you want to have kids, make sure she loves her dad, admires her dad, respects him. He’s the man of the house. He’s not a fucking a doormat that everybody walks all over and wipes their dirty feet on. He’s got to be able to put everybody in their place and they respect him. Mom respects dad. The daughters respect the dad.

Even the sons respect to dad. If dad doesn’t get any respect at home, you’re probably not going to get any respect from not only the girl you’re dating, but her mother and sister. Just character is destiny. You can’t fix that. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. So whatever is modeled at home is what you’re typically going to get. Now, it doesn’t mean that all women are inherently bad, because this could have just as easily been a guy that was raised in this kind of environment.

What do you think a man raised in this kind of environment is going to be like? He’s going to be a liar and a beta male. He’s going to avoid confrontation. Lying and cheating is just, that’s how people operate in that house. So if that guy becomes your friend or you go into business with him, expect to get dicked over, because again, character is destiny, that’s just reality. And as Ayn Rand said, “You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.