Some things to consider if you are thinking about ending your marriage or a breakup with with your long term relationship partner. How to know if it is time to end a relationship and move on to find someone better for you.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been married for almost 14 years with two kids. During the past year he realized that he and his wife did not share the same goals and values. His spiritual values have evolved, but his wife’s are still rooted in a very strict religion.
He also met a younger woman who made him feel like he never had about his wife. They had an affair and then she ended it because he was married. Even though his affair did not turn into anything serious, he has come to the conclusion that the right thing to do is to end his marriage so he can find what he really wants. He asks my opinion.
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“It’s never easy to end a relationship with someone once you realize that it has run its course or you simply do not share the same goals and values. Our fear that we won’t find anyone better, we will never find anyone else, the next person will not be as attractive, as fun or simply won’t love us as much, can paralyze us into inaction. Therefore, we live a lie and stay in a relationship that deep down we know no longer serves us or them. It takes guts, faith in oneself and faith that in time someone better and more suited to us will come along. If you know yourself, believe in yourself and can get to a place where you are ok with the possibility of never finding someone else or someone better, then you can lose your attachment to relationships that need to end. Then and only then will you be ready, willing, able and open to successfully attract someone more suited to the next grander version of yourself that you are destined to become.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Kevin says
Corey,
Your video’s and e-book have really helped me get stronger through my break-up. I am 40 and my ex is 23 , we lived together and were in a relationship for a year. Five months into my relationship I lost my job and I became depressed because I was not having success finding a job. I gained weight and was very discouraged I couldn’t even get a customer service job and I have an MBA. This took a tole on our relationship and I was no longer the exciting person she met. I became boring needy of her and used her for my happiness. She started talking to other guys on facebook and went to meet a boy from work to go bowling. I told her bull shit you went on a date. I felt disrespected and broke up with her. After moving out, her posts on FB were of freedom and trusting your heart. This tells me she felt controlled, smothered and I assume this is why she lost attraction.
She is a sweet adorable and very attractive girl. She will be able to get young attractive six pack abb boys and older men with money that can spoil her. I am very much still in love with her. I have sense tried to ask her to work on things. She has told me she loves me but is not in love with me. She also told me that we are different people and that she knows in her heart I am not the one for her. So she is the one thinking the grass is greener. It seems like she wants to be the normal 23 year old who parties and just has fun. I understand this and don’t want to keep her from it but it kills me to know she is seeing other guys. She has been dating and from what her friends tell me she likes the attention she is getting but she has mentioned she missed how affectionate I was and how the guys she dates won’t even hold her hand in public. They tell me to just give her time.
I made mistakes in the relationship being needy but I was very good to her I guess you could say I am the NICE guy. I want to build up her attraction in me again and make her want me again. Every time we meet I try to ask questions that make her remember the good things in our relationship but she see’s that and says I am not respecting her decision. She said that when I get my confidence back I will find a woman better than her that will love me as much as I love them. She also said that as much as it would kill her to see me with someone else she knows I will find someone. Now she has asked for space.
I will assume you will tell me to walk away never look back but I know the attraction is lower than 50% feels like she has no interest at all. She has not contacted me since the breakup other than to give a very delayed short response. She lives in a different city so I am afraid I will never hear from her again. I have dated other woman since the breakup but honestly it makes me want her even more. I have also realized I don’t want to get serious with anyone until I can figure out my passion and get some kind of career going. My biggest problem I have had in my relationships is that I do not love myself and I am not happy with myself. Do I have a chance with this girl what is your thoughts or suggestion? Thanks for all that you do!
Kevin