Staying Calm During Chaos

How staying calm during chaotic life events is attractive & makes women feel safe.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss a success story from a guy who has been with his wife for five years and married for three. He dates his wife at least once per week and he has remained the same dude he was when they first met. He got arrested in February for sleeping in his car in a parking garage because he was too drunk to drive.

He shares how he stayed calm before, during and after his trial, even though his wife was worried. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This email is a success story from a guy who’s been following me for many years, and he says he’s been with his wife five years and married for three. He says he dates her at least once a week, and he’s remained the same guy that he was that she fell in love with all throughout the relationship, all throughout the five years. However, earlier this year in February, I guess they were out having a good time together, he and his wife. He got a little too drunk. So in the parking garage, and this is in Orlando, he, I guess maybe they were visiting, but he was in a parking garage and probably had his car running because they were passed out.

In Florida, if you have your keys in the ignition or your car is running, that is the same as a DUI. If you’re just sleeping in your car and the keys are not in the ignition, I don’t know how it works for a Tesla because a Tesla senses your phone, it knows you’re there, so I don’t know how that would work. I don’t know how the law is written specifically, but he ends up getting arrested. He wanted to go to trial. Then his wife was like freaking out the whole time, and he’s just calm, cool, and collected, even though his wife’s like, “Ahhh!” If he gets found guilty, he could end up going to jail. So he was willing to get a jury of his peers. So let’s see what happened.

What happens when you get caught, passed out in your car in Florida and you got your keys in the ignition? That’s the same thing as driving. Just because it was in park, it doesn’t matter.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach Corey Wayne,

Thank you for all of your help over the years. Your tools helped grow into a better person. 

I’ve been with my wife now for five years, three of them being married. The marriage has had its challenges but overall it’s been a happy one. We go on one date at least once a week and I’m still the same person I was before we got together.

Yeah, if you don’t date and court your wife or your girlfriend, eventually some other guy will.

I want to give your viewers an example of how staying calm during chaos can keep a woman’s attraction.

Long story short, I was arrested in February for sleeping in my car. My wife and I were having too much fun so we decided not to drive home and sleep in the car in a parking garage. Florida sees this as drunk driving.

I think if the keys are in the ignition, even though the engine’s not running, they consider it a DUI, but if the keys are in the ignition and the car is running, it’s definitely a DUI, but I don’t know about Teslas because again, the Tesla knows that you’re in there. So I don’t know how that would work.

Through out the process, I took responsibility and blame myself for drinking too much and getting into this situation.

We just got back from Orlando yesterday from my trial which was a mistrial. The process was nerve racking and I was scared but I stayed calm throughout the process.

Yeah, it’s like never let them see you sweat.

My wife on the other hand, had a much harder time.

Yeah, she’s going to lose her protector, potentially. He might go to the big house.

With all of the uncertainty the past three months I continued my hobbies, worked out and quite drinking. I also accepted I might lose every thing which made me calm which she could sense. I believe all of this made her even more attracted to me. I think that not expressing fear of losing her if I were to go to jail made her want me more. 

Yeah, because masculinity is calm. You were stoic. You were relaxed. Yeah, you felt fear inside, but you didn’t turn her into your mommy or your therapist, “Oh, I’m really worried. Oh,my God, I can’t sleep at night,” because if you’re freaking out about it, what’s going to happen? She’s going to freak out even more. If you’re calm, cool, “I don’t know how you could stay so calm.” It’s like, “What can I do? The trial’s not for several months. We’re going to go, we’re going to present our evidence, we’re going to present our side and hopefully the jury will see it our way.” That’s what he chose to do. I mean, that’s all you can do.

As I talk about in the book, what does it say? If what you’re doing, if what you’re saying or if you’re thinking about doing and saying is not going to make you look more masculine, more attractive, more competent and confident, then keep it to yourself. If you’re freaking out over this, go share it with your guy friends. Don’t be sharing it with your wife. She’s already going to be freaked out enough about it, so it’s not going to help her feel calm, cool and collected if you’re freaking out also. If you’re freaking out, then it’s going to make her freak out more, so if she has the perception that you’re handling this quite well, that’s why she’s with you, because you’re her rock, you’re her mountain, you’re potentially going to get sent away to jail, and you’re like, “Ehh.”

Like the T.I. song, he’s talking about going to jail, potentially. He says, “Let go and let God deal with it.” That’s what he did, because people were like, “How can you be so calm? You’re potentially going to go to jail no matter what.” I think that was the name of the song. It gives me goosebumps thinking about that song because he was facing jail for whatever he ended up going to jail. I think he was on his tour bus or something. He violated his parole and they sent him to jail for a few years or months. I don’t remember what it was, but it’s a great song no matter what. Really great song.

So he’s facing all this stuff. He says, “Let go and let God deal with it.” In other words, you got to control the controllables. So in this case, I assume he’s got an attorney, he’s got his case laid out,and then a mistrial gets declared. So the question is, will a state want to retry and reprosecute, or will they just dismiss the charges and let it go? I don’t know. I don’t know that law. Anybody that’s an attorney, maybe you guys can slide into the comments and say what you know about Florida law and these particular cases, because that’s an interesting conversation. The point being is this guy is like, “I’m not going to let it upset me. I’m certainly not going to let my wife know I’m freaked out about it.” He can feel the fear, but he’s not going to let her show it, because if he does, if he lets her know that he’s kind of freaked out about it, it’s just going to make her more freaked out, and that’s not going to help the relationship. That’s not going to help her be more attracted. You want her to be like, “Man, you’re so calm. I don’t know how you can be so calm.” It’s like, “Yeah, I feel fear, but what can I do?” Because then down the road, there might be other problems that come along that are even worse than this. Maybe you have kids some day and some shit’s going on with your kids or whatever, or you got a family member that’s sick, or maybe one of her family members is sick. Because you’re always calm, cool, and collected, you’re her rock, you’re her mountain, you make her feel calm because you’re so calm. That’s what you want.

You want to set the tone for the household. You’ve decided ahead of time that you’re going to be happy, you’re going to be relaxed, you’re going to be cheerful, you’re going to be grateful, you’re going to be optimistic, you’re going to have positive expectation that things are going to work out in your favor, even though they may not, but you’re still going to have a positive expectation that you’re going to get a good result, and that’s what women need from you. They’re the ones that get all emotional and upset. Don’t make your girl deal with your own fears. This is absolutely smart and the best way to handle this, and this guy has done a masterful job, I must say, of maintaining his emotional self control and keeping his fucking mouth shut and not sharing any of this crap with her because it’s not going to help. It won’t help her. All it will do is give her more reason to freak out. So don’t freak her out.

It’s just like the book I wrote about, Cinderella Man, Russell Crowe’s character, his wife’s freaking out. The whole, “I’m not coming to your fight. I’m not doing it. Screw you. It’s dangerous.” He’s like, “I got to do it for the family. This is what I do. I’m a fighter. I got to provide for my kids, even if it’s dangerous.” That’s what a man does. He was calm, cool and collected. What does she do? She listened to the fight anyway, because she supported her man. The fact that he was calm through all that shit made her feel better, made her feel glad, happy and grateful that she chose him as a man and father of her children.

I hope some of your viewers can use this as an example that being calm in any situation will make you more attractive. There’s nothing wrong with being scared or depressed during a tough time in life, it comes down to how you react. Proactive vs reactive – seven habits

So I’m assuming The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey, I think is a book that he’s referencing.

Thanks again and let’s go Trump!

Bob

I’m sure people, “Coach, how could you?” I like to have my presidents be able to form a complete sentence and not just go, “Uhhh.” Anybody saw that debate? That was fucking atrocious. Then seeing everybody in the media at first attacked by it, “He’s got to go! We got to get rid of him! We got to dump him before the convention!” Then 24 hours later, Bolton goes out, “Oh, he looks better than ever. Biden was great. He really held his own. Oh yeah, that CNN Town Hall was amazing. He’s so sharp. Oh yeah, totally. He’s good. Trump should be the one to drop out.” That’s insane. To see the people in the media just jump through their butts to try to dismiss the bad debate performance. I mean, we’ve known for years. Even when he was running against Trump in 2020, that’s why he didn’t campaign, because he’s a fucking vegetable and the media lied. I love seeing the people in the media going, “Oh, we had no idea. The White House, they covered it up, damn it! They hid his decline from us!” Bullshit, we all saw it! It’s amazing to see the people on the left just completely glaze over it and go, “Oh, yeah, he’s totally way sharper than Trump definitely.” It’s like, come on, man. Roger Simon said, “Modern liberalism is based upon lying, and it begins with lying to the self.” That’s so true. Just to see that, it’s just disgusting. Trump 2024 bitches!

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