How to get out of friend zone with women you may have been stuck in friend zone with for many years.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been stuck in friend zone with eight different women for many years. He has now read my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, seventeen times and is in the process of applying what my book teaches with all eight of these women to get out of friend zone.
His email details his successes and failures with six of these women so far. It’s a really interesting case study because of the different responses he’s gotten from each of them. He details what he did and said with each of them and their responses. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I’ve got an email here from a guy who has been stuck in friend zone with eight different women for several years. And so, he’s read my first book How To Be A 3% Man now going on seventeen times, and he’s been applying it relentlessly. And so, out of these eight different women, he has made an attempt with six of them so far to get out of friend zone. It’s a really cool email of the power of hanging out, having fun and hooking up.
So, this should be an interesting one, because it’s a really good case study. I think every email I’ve ever gotten over the last fifteen years from guys that are stuck in friend zone, that it’s usually just one woman they’re trying to get out of friend zone with. But this dude’s got literally eight of them. And so far into his permutations, his attempts, he’s gotten together with six of them.
Some of them he succeeded with, some of them he failed with, but what I really like is he included what his line was when he went for the kiss, and then obviously their responses, and how he handled their responses and objections. So it’s a really interesting case study. Like I said, I’ve just never seen somebody be stuck in friend zone so much with so many different women.
Every time I decide to email you, it’s hard to keep it short because of the extensive success stories. I wanted to brief you and possibly get your opinion.
FRIEND ZONED! I guess I was a decent looking kid, always had a few decent looking girlfriends, but I made good “friends” with about 8 beautiful girls who I am still friends with ‘til this day. I love all the women in my life.
After reading your book 17 plus times, when these particular girls wanted to hang the couple weeks before Christmas, one at a time, I fit them into my very busy social life. Because since your book, I’m booked, if you know what I mean!
So, I can just see what he’s going through. He obviously comes across a book like mine, starts reading it, and then all the light bulbs go off and he’s like, “That happened to me. She said that to me,” and they have the same experiences that I had.
And it’s it’s cool to me, you know, at almost fifty one years old now that — I’m assuming this guy is maybe in his twenties here, maybe early thirties — somebody at this point in his life can read a book like mine and then just completely turn around all of these situations in his life. Because obviously, if you read my book, it didn’t go so well for me back when I was younger, because there wasn’t anybody like me around. We didn’t even have the internet back in those days. It was way before YouTube or anything existed.
I either had them come over or went to their house — bottle of wine or six pack, depending on the particular “friend.” I still laugh daily at myself. So, 8 girls and six hang outs so far.
Girl 1: I went over, drank about 3 beers, locked eyes and said, “We have been playing this game too long. You need to just kiss me.” Then I just stared and said nothing.
So, this is right out of Sales 101 in negotiation. You present your offer to your potential buyer, and then you say nothing. You just wait for them to respond. Because ye who speaks first in that situation is the one who loses, because it creates a lot of tension there. And if people like you, they want to help you, they want to be nice to you. And so, if they’re on the fence about you, just that silence alone can push them over the edge to say yea or nay.
It’s very powerful to do, not only in your personal life, but if you’re negotiating a salary and a job. Or potentially somebody is offering you a job, they offer you a salary and you counter back, and then there’s a pause and you just sit and smile and you just wait for them to respond to you. Most of the time, most people, because they just haven’t done this enough, they get uncomfortable with the silence. And so, they’ll just go along with what you want, because at the end of the day, ye who speaks first loses the negotiation and ye who waits the longest tends to win it.
It took about 10 seconds, but it felt like 3 minutes. She walked 3 steps to me, and we kissed all the way to her bedroom.
Girl 2: She came over with a bottle of wine. After about half the bottle, I looked her in her eyes and said, “You need to just kiss me.” She said, “I thought we were just friends.” I never took my eyes off of hers, and I said, “I’ve lied to myself too long, I’m extremely attracted to your sexy body.” We kissed for about 45 minutes, but I couldn’t close the deal.
It’s still possible that after that, in the future, she contacts him and he can invite her over to his place. And obviously, he’s using a line right out of my book that I used one time with a girl many years ago. And it’s a very effective line, which is, at any point the date you can just say, “I think you need to get it over with and kiss me right now.” It’s very powerful.
Girl 3: I went to her place, smoked a fatty, then the same thing. Looked her in her eyes and said, “You need to just kiss me.” She said, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that for 5 years now, but I’m talking to a guy and I want to see where that goes.” I said, “He can keep you busy while were not together.”
I wonder where he heard that one from. Also, in the sweet book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” which you can read for free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. All you’ve got to do is subscribe to the email newsletter. And you can read my second book, “Mastering Yourself ” for free. But back to our regularly scheduled, hanging out, having fun and hooking up. If you don’t have one of these sweet Teespring mugs, you can go to Teespring.com and look up Coach Corey Wayne and go to my Coach Corey Wayne store and check out all the different mugs I have, if you’re so inclined. Plus, I’ve got a lot of cool shirts like this one.
Then I waited for her to speak.
So, he used the pause twice.
She said, “I’m gonna see where this goes.” My response, “Well, you know now. I want your gorgeous fuckin’ body.” Then I left, not looking back.
Perfect. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away. I mean, in this negotiation, she obviously wanted to see where things went with this other guy. Maybe she wasn’t interested, but obviously she says, “I’ve been waiting for you to say it for five years,” but now she’s not really available. So, if it doesn’t work out with this other dude, more than likely, guess who she’ll be calling? Obviously, the guy that wrote the email.
Girl 4: She came to my place to just play darts. Thirty minutes in, same thing. Straight in her eyes, “You need to kiss me.” She said with surprise, “We’re just friends.” I said, “I can’t just be your friend anymore. I fucking want you when I’m with you.” She said, “I think we should not mess up our friendship.” My response, “You know how I feel. When you decide you want the best night of your life, give me holla.” She left. I’m not looking back.
Again, a negotiation. Perfect, executed beautifully. She either agrees to give you what you want, or “See you later.” Nothing personal. It’s just business, as we say in the business world. But in this case, nothing personal. It’s just sex and romance.
Girl 5: We met at my shed. Which is more or less my man cave, bar room. We were drinking vodka. A couple hours in, I looked her in her eyes and said, “Girl, I’ve been wanting you since I met you and I can’t hold it in anymore.” Just stared her in her eyes and waited. She kind of just took a deep breath and looked so submissive. I grabbed her and started kissing her. No resistance whatsoever. Ten minutes later, she was bent over my couch screaming my name.
The next day, in her text, the bitch said, “I’ve been worried for years that you might be gay” with a lot of laughy faces. I texted back, “No, I’m just a lesbian and finally got to prove it to you. Let me know your schedule. We can hang again.”
Girl 6: She was at another friend’s house and needed a ride home. So, as the good friend I am, I went to pick her up and drive her home. When we were in her driveway, she was kind of wasted, but I had to tell her. “Look “Jessica”, (Ha-ha, not really her name), I’m extremely attracted to you and we can’t do the whole ‘just friends’ thing anymore. She looked up at me and said, “You should have fucked me a long time ago.” So, I kissed her and said tomorrow when you’re not hammered, give me a holla to let me know your schedule.” I was sober, she was drunk, so I didn’t follow her inside.
Probably a good idea. But at the end of the day, the fact that she said “You should have fucked me a long time ago,” it will be interesting to see what happens.
Two more of these situations to go. But thank you very much. For everything. I’ve emailed you a few times throughout this progression since finding you. I’ll drop you a few dollars when I close on this next flip house.
Some advice from me to you. You should start a dating app with the 10 percent of your audience who are chicks and the 90 percent of the up and coming 3 percenters.
If you “hang out, have fun and hook up” for a couple months, these girls will “want your attention all the fuckin’ time.”
Well, as far as the dating app goes, I’ve had a lot of people suggest that over the years. I’m not a fan of dating apps. I prefer meeting women in person, always have. Just too much work in the dating apps. Plus, you know, as I’ve said before, I’ve noticed over the last few years, there’s a lot of hookers — women that are just simply looking to have sex for money.
And there’s so many gullible, desperate guys with more money than common sense that are willing to go along with it, that they’re constantly validating this model. And it’s just like, I don’t have time for that B.S.
I just love meeting a random stranger out of the blue. You never know when it’s going to happen, and just boom, it fucking clicks. I love that. It’s beautiful. But that’s just me. So, I appreciate the fact you suggest I should build a dating app, you’re definitely not the first, but I have zero interest in that.
I appreciate the email and I’m sure most of the guys watching this. This is kind of like six different friend zone types of emails all rolled into one, because like I said, you’re the only dude that I have ever seen over the years that has accumulated this many ‘friends’ that you’re stuck in friend zone with.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Most of what it takes to be successful in life is simply showing up and taking consistent action to create the life and lifestyle you’ve always wanted, no matter how many setbacks, challenges and failures you inevitably encounter. The more you can increase your pain tolerance to endure ridicule, rejection and failure, the more you will be able to accomplish in life simply because the overwhelming majority of mediocre and unsuccessful people have a low tolerance for pain. Perseverance, learning from your mistakes and refining your approach to any problem or challenge are the keys to long term and lifelong success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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