Stuck In Friends Zone With My Ex

Apr 29, 2015 by Coach Corey Wayne

Couple hugging in the streetWhat you should do if you have been hanging out with your ex for the past six months or more, but every time you go on dates with her and try to kiss her, all you get is her cheek, hugs and her telling you that you are friends only.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who got dumped by his ex six months ago due to his weak and needy behavior. He says he thinks that he made the mistake, when they broke up, of agreeing to be friends. For the past six months, he has been pursuing and asking her out on dates. She agrees to go out on dates sometimes, but when he tries to kiss her at the end of their dates, he only gets her cheek, gets a hug in return and gets admonished by her reminding him that they are only friends.

He asks me if he is doing anything wrong with her…lol. He wants to know what he can do to get out of friends zone without burning a bridge.

Hi Coach!

Thanks a lot for the work you are doing to help men be more successful in life! I have got a question on getting my ex back.

Long story short, she dumped me six months ago after being in a close relationship for about two and a half years. As I read your book twice, I saw all of the mistakes I’d done because of my needy and weak behavior. (If you’re still hanging out with a woman who friend-zoned you six months ago, you’re still acting needy and weak. This is approval-seeking behavior.) I wish I had known the material before this break-up occurred. She was having a working vacation in Europe when she dumped me. Relationship problems - young couple outdoors I did my best to respectfully accept her position, but I think I fucked up by agreeing to stay friends. (You should have told her you weren’t interested in being platonic friends.) After she came back, I reached out and suggested to have a cup of coffee. (You don’t chase after somebody who dumps you.) During the date I felt no interest from her side. I drove her home and tried to kiss her, but got rejected and received the “we are friends” speech from her. (She’s being the man in the relationship.) I started dating another girl, but two months later I realized I still had strong feelings for my ex. When she reached out, I arranged a date, but that, too, led to nothing.

Two weeks later, in February, we had another date, but I still got nothing but hugs. Every two weeks, I appointed dates, trying to seduce her and appear as a man she’d be into, (The problem is, you’re still pursuing her. When you keep calling her, that communicates you accept her terms of friendship), and the past three times she didn’t agree to meet, saying she planned to hang out with her girlfriends. (Now you’re continuing to call her and she won’t even make plans with you. Have some self-respect dude.)

Am I doing something wrong with this girl? (You have read my book twice, and you haven’t changed your behavior at all. You are doing the exact opposite of everything I teach.) Hand Refused the gift, flowers Is there any way to tell her I’m not okay with being friends, without burning bridges? (If you keep taking this same failed approach, she will find someone else.) Any advice? (Never ever call or text this woman again. If she reaches out, she needs to come to make dinner at your place, as I discuss in my article and video, “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.” You don’t want to be her gay male girlfriend.) I know she’s not dating now. Is that a good sign for me? (Come on man! The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.)

I would appreciate your help.

With respect,

Bob

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“When a man gets dumped by his girlfriend, lover or his wife, and he agrees to be friends only in hopes that someday he will get another shot at dating her, this is the pinnacle of dating self-delusion. The very act of a man agreeing to be platonic friends when he wants to remain romantic lovers is an insult to his manhood. Men who do this are knowingly and unknowingly surrendering their man-cards and committing self-neutering. A real man walks away and never looks back when a woman unilaterally changes the terms of their romantic relationship into a platonic one. Why? Because a real man has enough self-love, self-respect and dignity to know that it is simply a matter of time before he meets and replaces her with someone better.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Published on April 29, 2015

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hi Coach,
    I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago and still in a contact with her. I know I’m not suppose to but I have this deep remorse that I never done anything for her besides treating her bad. I vented all my frustration and depression onto her ever since we dated three months. I finally realized my mistakes and I tried patching things up but she told me she lost feelings completely for me. I really like her although we dated for only three months. After watching this videos, I realized what an idiot I am… I thought if I become her friend for now I could win her back by showing more affections but my approach is completely wrong and I pushed her further away. I recently went to a six flags trip with her and her friends because I was afraid of losing her to one of her guy friends. She told me this guy is going after her and I went along to protect her from him yet she pushed me away even more when I displayed my feelings. Last night, she wrote me a letter along with a rose stating her feelings. She wrote in the beginning we had a spark and clicked very well. But after we started dating, I made her miserable by putting her down and saying all these messed up stuff. I don’t know how to get her back… I messed up badly and nothing seems to go in my way. I bought your book today and I’m watching your videos. I really hope you can give me advice and suggestions.

    With respect,
    Michael

  2. That letter she wrote was in time of her thinking of you when she truley has nothing to think of except her hurt for the moment and and to fill void of the “in the moment “thing ,nothing more and nothing less whatever answer she gets from you it does not matter ,there is an aboriginal Australian saying that goes”Mud Sticks” ,in other words she can forgive and forget ,but she will never forget the way that you make her feel in the budding time of a relationship ,even if yo guys get back together there will there will be that caution screen she puts between you and her ,it will never work.. sorry .Face it Micheal I can tell you have temper ..me personally I would forget about her ,never ever contact her,even if she sends me letter or wanting to connect.. ,I would go and really work on myself..pin my weak points see if I can improve and specially the the anger thing ,do not worry or even think she exist ,just a bad dream ,go love yourself..if I am not wrong I know that in the world the women to men population ratio is now 2.5 to 1 and is on the increase thanks to self talking themselves on their mobiles and taking selfies .it is her loss not yours

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