Subtle Over Pursuit Causes Rejection

How to avoid subtly over pursuing your lover to the point that it causes unnecessary rejection, friend-zoning, being ignored or turning them off.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is guilty of subtly over pursuing a woman he was dating. He called a little too much, acted needy while he was with her and often tried too hard to be with her and in her life. As she backed off, he pursued more. He basically communicated that he was more into her, than she was into him. He did not act like a true equal or like he deserved to be with her. She then told him that they should not see each other anymore, and that this always happens with her when a guy shows her, “too much interest.” He was thinking it was the drama of her custody fight with her ex over their children and not anything he was doing, but he admitted he often acted too needy when he was with her.

They have continued hanging out, having fun and hooking up, but things are no longer the same between them. He did everything right in the beginning. She asked him to be exclusive, fell in love and did most of the pursuing for the first few months. His subtle over pursuit caused her to back off to the point that she told him she did not think they should see each other anymore. I tell him what he needs to do to tweak his game and get her to fall back in love with him again, and so she starts pursuing him once more.

“When a man starts to over pursue and contact a woman too much, act unworthy, act weak and compliant, doesn’t stand up for himself or he starts acting like one of her girlfriends or a therapist instead of her charming lover, she will become unsure of her feelings, the relationship and him. She will therefore back away to gain clarity and be present with her feelings. When a man notices that a woman he is dating is starting to back off, become unsure, act flakey, lose interest or take him for granted, the best medicine is to make himself scarce and wait to hear from her. Why? The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to remove yours. If they still value you, they will start treating you better and make an effort to make you feel wanted. If they don’t, then they will let you go. Only try to keep people in your life who try to keep you in theirs.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne