Why becoming successful will breed plenty of haters, doubters and people who will ridicule, envy and attempt to sabotage your success. What you should focus on to resist their negative influence and rise above their unhelpful noise, so you can attract a peer group that consists of like-minded, supportive people.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares how the success he has experienced in his personal and professional life, due to applying what I teach, has also caused a lot of people he works with, that he used to think were his friends, to attack and ridicule him. He says he always used to place his happiness in the hands of other people. He also sought approval and validation from others. He says his inner confidence is up over 1,000% since he’s been applying what my book teaches. You can tell from his email, he is shocked by all of the haters hating on him and pooh-poohing his success, instead of being supportive. He says he uses their hating as fuel to drive him forward, despite their best efforts to discourage and derail him. It’s a great email that perfectly illustrates what every successful person starts to experience when they make massive change and take massive action to create the life and lifestyle they’ve always wanted. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
Thanks for all that you do, Brother Corey. If you select my email to review as a video newsletter, you can easily call this one, “Success Breeds Haters.” Why did I say that? Ever since I started digging into your material, I’m finishing up my second thorough read with stops to review the Google references, sometimes multiple times daily, (I always say, just try to get a little better each day. You followed instructions, and that’s why I am reading your success story. You did what was right, and that’s why you’re getting results), my life is becoming fucking magical. I am getting a small taste of what you mean when you say meeting women should be effortless. It is. (Attraction is not a choice. Most guys talk women out of liking them, because women are smart and they’ll see through the BS when you’re not comfortable in your skin. You’ll get a thousand times further with authenticity, being real and speaking what’s in your heart.) My inner confidence and how I carry and express myself has dramatically improved 1,000%. It is not just with meeting and engaging women. It is also causing me to experience massive success in my job. (I talk about this in my book. The more successful you become in your personal life, the more it’s going to grow your self confidence. That will have a positive effect on your earning potential and your ability to negotiate a better salary or job. The more you feel loved and the more peaceful you feel, the more you will expect that as your standard in every area of your life.) However, I am noticing a lot of haters growing out of the bodies of people I use to consider cool acquaintances and co-workers. (Most guys have never dated the kind of women they believe are out of their league. They will bitch out and settle on someone because of the haters around them, or their fear and self doubt. However, as you have repeated success, it will become what you’re used to.) You definitely need to put a disclaimer in your book and videos such as, “Caution. Apply this material at your own risk of attracting haters.” (Even the best professional athletes in the world have to hear this kind of criticism.) Seriously though, with my new attitude and improved self-confidence and self-respect, I am radiating and glowing, and people are taking notice and flocking to get to know me. However, haters want to come to the party, too.
To me, it would seem like people would want to see you do better, change your life for the better and take note on how to change their lives, but instead, they try to pull you down… the old crabs-in-a-barrel mentality. (Most people are unhappy and unsuccessful, so unfortunately, that’s what you have to deal with. When people are successful, wealthy, happy in love, and their businesses are doing well, they tend to be in a more peaceful state. They’re just kinder people.) I don’t understand that thinking, but it’s their weight to carry. I prefer to live as drama-free as possible. In any case, having a healthy level of self-confidence and self-respect is not negotiable. (You have to make yourself happy. Decide what makes you happy and do that. Move those people who are bringing drama into your life out.) I no longer give that away to others for validation. Thanks to your work and some quiet time alone with The Creator in prayer, I have finally realized, and truly accept to the core of my being, that I matter. For a long time, I put my self-worth and self-esteem in other peoples’ hands to validate and approve. (You will always be miserable if you do that. Good for you for recognizing that.) I have taken your saying as my own; “Fuck That Noise.” It feels awesome to genuinely love and respect myself and to be able to love and see others as they truly are, including wolves in sheep’s clothing. Also, I know what it means to make your haters your motivators. The more they hate, the more I become great.
Thanks again for your contribution to the world and for helping me turn my life around. I’m far from done and look forward to the 20th read of your kick ass book. (By the time you get to twenty reads, you’ll be teaching this stuff. Your friends will be coming to you for your advice. The true measure of a leader is not by how many followers he has, but how many leaders he creates.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Everybody wants to be successful, but few people are willing to pay the price and put the time in that is required to become successful. The more successful you become, the more you will attract and draw the scorn of jealous, envious and unsuccessful people. People tend to attack in others either what they lack within themselves, or what other people are connected to on the inside that they are disconnected from within themselves. Unhappy people tend to envy, attack and ridicule happy people; unsuccessful people tend to envy, attack and ridicule successful people, etc. People also tend to project their unhappiness, fear, anger, self-hatred, self-loathing and internal inadequacies onto others to feel better about themselves. Successful people are self-reliant, self-motivated and outcome focused. Unsuccessful people blame others for their unhappiness or lack of success in an attempt to absolve themselves from any personal blame or responsibility for their failures, shortcomings and lack of success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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