Why being successful and happy in life is a direct result of making progress towards achieving and becoming what you want, but not the actual achievement, accomplishment, or acquisition of your goals.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is passionate about videography, filmmaking and animation. He says a big part of his problem is that he has a hard time making decisive plans and then following through on them. He often feels jealous of the success that his friends and other people have who he feels are more successful and contributing to society in a more meaningful way than he presently does. The past year, he has been traveling and exploring the world, but he simply feels like he is not making any progress towards being successful at his mission and purpose. He says he fears he’s going to screw everything up because he can’t make decisive plans. His fears are obviously causing him to take little to no action at all towards fulfilling his mission and purpose in life. I discuss what he should be focusing on so he can start taking action and start making some real progress in life.
I have just recently discovered your work and like all your fans, I really appreciate it. I have been watching so many videos, and WOW! Keep up the great work, and don’t stop. Please note, your book is still on my to do list, as I am currently going through Tony Robbins and a few others. (If you want to get this part of your life handled, you’ve got to read my book 10-15 times.) My question is in regards to life choices and living life. I do apologize for my grammar. I have never been really great at explaining my problems.
About me: I am passionate about videography, filmmaking and animation. (If that’s what you love, and that’s what you are passionate about, that’s what you should be doing, whether you’re doing it for yourself or for other people.) I’ve learned so much and have spent so much time on it. For 18-22 years, I’ve lived in box, endlessly working by myself to get better skills, when I should have applied for positions within film companies. (Go do that now. You’ve got to start building a resume. If you want to become great at filmmaking, you’ve got to make films.) During that time, I was obsessed with cult classic fictional movies and video games, I was a weirdo nerd, and my plan was to create a creative film. However, something snapped, and I have changed from being a weirdo nerd to a crazy life junkie. I now hate being inside my house, and I hate video games and fictional movies. Have you seen the 2003 movie, “Oldboy” by Chan-wook Park? I can’t remember the quote but it goes something like this: “Art/books/movies/music can be entertainment, but it can also be art. Tell stories and connect to us emotionally. The most important story of all is your life, your existence. So stop living in a retarded fantasy, fictional world. Live life to the fullest.” My goals now are to live life to the fullest. I went traveling to South Africa, volunteering abroad, which was a great eye opener. I went to Australia to work and travel, but came back home sooner than expected. “Failure to prepare is prepare to fail,” which happened. However, before I came back to the UK, I befriended a lot of travel companies. THANKS TO YOU, I would never have gotten the idea. I went straight into the travel offices, asked to speak to the managers, politely talked about them and their company, and showed them my show reel. Some of them were not interested. However, with a few of them I got into the conversation of being able to produce free promotional videos for them in exchange for free travel tours. (That’s brilliant. You should be making videos. Just do it.)
I am now back in the UK, which is depressing, and plan to go back to Australia in eight months, or so I think. Keep in mind, my working Australia visa ends January of 2016. Plan number one for me is to get a shitty job, build a video show reel and skills on the side, and go back out there. (Bullshit. Start making videos and put them out there now.) However, one of my major problems is not being able to make decisions. I fear I am going to fuck everything up because I can’t make decisive plans. Not only that, a part of me is actually starting to hate videography, filmmaking and animation. I know if I worked within a company and made a financial living, it would be a different story. I am getting jealous of my friend’s job. (Yes, because your friend is making progress while you’re just talking about the great things you’ll do someday. You need to be making videos and animation now. Make the best work you can and put it out there now so you can start building an audience and get some feedback.) He’s an electrician and is in the army, a real job — something that contributes to society. He has that get out during the day, real hard work on your feet, then come back, put up your feet and rest feeling, which is amazing. That’s something you can really be proud of, something you can’t really do being a filmmaker. (If you were putting work out there, you’d be accomplishing something too. You’re suffering from the paralysis of analysis.) In editing and animation, which is office work, you can’t get that. (Now you’re starting to give up on your dreams, and you are actually sabotaging your success by doing nothing.) If you are a freelancer, then it’s ten times worse. Your office is your home, and it drives you insane. When filming amazing events/acts/performers, I feel pathetic, as my job is to just observe and record. A part of me doesn’t want to be the observer, but the actual participant in great acts. I feel like I am not contributing to society. (That’s because you’re not making anything. You’re not producing any content, just talking about it.)
I am the kind of person who can push myself to the limit. I can get on with it with the right advice and coaching. Once working with a gym buddy/coach, I had such intensive leg training, that I threw up. However, if I am by myself, I just feel lost and haven’t got that push. My goals are weird. I would love a life coach or a great mentor. (What you need to do is take action. Create a YouTube channel and produce and upload a new piece of content every week. The more videos you can upload on a consistent basis, the quicker your audience will grow.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Being successful and happy is a direct result of making progress towards achieving your goals and dreams and creating the life and lifestyle you’ve always wanted. Most people mistakenly assume that they will only be happy once they achieve their goals and dreams, and acquire the material things they desire. Most big goals and dreams often take a decade or more of your life to achieve. However, we live in a society that is obsessed with instant gratification and a quick fix. Most people give up on their grandest dreams and goals, and instead settle for a life of mediocrity because they do not sense, see or feel like they are making any real progress. Settling for a life that is less than what you really want happens when you substitute mediocre goals and dreams because they offer you more of an instant gratification and a sense of quicker progress. However, instant gratification is fleeting and cannot sustain or fulfill you for a lifetime like becoming all that you are capable of becoming and reaching your full potential can. Everything worth having and becoming in life is always going to come with more hard work, financial expense and time than you expect. The dichotomy is that human beings always appreciate and value that which comes through challenge, difficulty, struggle, hardship, heartache and disappointment, more than that which comes easily.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne