Success With Someone Better Is The Best Revenge

How success with someone better is the best revenge after a breakup.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who finally got over an on and off again relationship of 7 years. He cared more about the ex than she did about him, but she still liked hooking up with him occasionally. He shares how he recently told her to get lost because he met a new woman who adores him and wants a relationship instead of just an occasional booty call.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Success With Someone Better Is The Best Revenge”.

So this particular email, it’s a nice little success story update from a viewer who hasn’t written in since last year I think. I answered a few of his emails in previous newsletters, and he basically had a woman he’s kind of been involved with or known for about seven years.

And it’s obvious that just a lot of damage was done due to his behavior. And even now, after they split up and he basically told her to go on down the road and have a nice life because he wanted something serious and she didn’t. But they were kind of like in a booty call situation. Plus they’re long distance. He wanted more.

But this is the beauty of the way life works. He was over it and tired of it. Met somebody new who’s really into him, and he really likes hanging out with her. And now they’ve gotten serious. And she’s close to where he is. So for those of you that are suffering, you feel like you’re never going to meet anybody else.

You still aren’t completely over your ex, that’s when nice things like this just seem to happen. Perfectly right on time. When you look back in ten, 15 years, you’re like, oh, it’s so sweet.

Viewer Email:

Dear Coach Corey,

Since emailing you about this there have been a few interesting developments. When Jessica and I parted ways, she went back to Belgium and I back to Nashville to work on my music. We’d stay in touch from time to time via WhatsApp and we started to discuss meeting up in Europe where I was on tour.

She already had a busy schedule, but we found a little window of time where I could go and spend a few days together. It was awesome – but I noticed that she was gradually losing interest and bringing in her friends so that we could spend more time not alone but in groups.

So she brings the friends in, obviously it’s cock blockers and clam slammers. And there was another term somebody told me that I hadn’t heard, and I can’t think of it about clam slammers, about female cock blockers, if you will. There’s another name. I thought it was great and now I forgot it. But that’s obviously suboptimal and it sucks when you see that. But just so many things that happen. And that’s part of the problem. When you care way more about her than she does about you and she knows it, it’s like you’ve got no leverage.

I figured that she was dipping out in real time but I thought “Hey, this is just a fun pit stop on my way home”.

And that’s, quite frankly, the way you should look at it.

The sex remained good. The second night we were both really tired and spent the night cuddling but no sex. Then the following day she said “I want to be clear. This is lust only. I’m feeling romantic energy from you, I don’t want to lead you on like I did the last time”.

So you could tell right there. She knows she’s got all the power. She’s got him wrapped around her finger. Whatever reason this woman is like Kryptonite or has been like Kryptonite.

I said, “You’re right I do have romantic feelings for you – but I know that this is just temporary. We live on opposite sides of the world! This could be the last time, let’s not worry about labels and just enjoy it.”

So that just shows you’re indifferent. You can take it or leave it.

We then had amazing sex. The next day she said “I was overthinking. I didn’t mean it, so I’ll see you next time you’re over?”

Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got to do this in my girl voice.

The next day she said “I was overthinking. I didn’t mean it, so I’ll see you next time you’re over?” I said “maybe – it all has to align with my tour and there’s a lot of shows still needing to be booked”. I was hurt and disappointed that she clearly just viewed me as an occasional lay.

Well, women like you more if they think that they’re more into you than you are into them.

But I knew that this discomfort would evaporate once I focused on my new record and future work – which has many great musicians involved. As well as being a magician I am a touring musician.

Tastes like a mouthful. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As we parted ways, she said, “That was a good time”, I said “Yeah, it’s always easy with you” she said “That’s part of the problem” then she kissed me on the lips and left. I was hurt but accepted it, got on the plane and resumed my life. I’m in a period where I’m working delivery driving, downsizing all my living costs.

So sounds like he’s trying to live like a broke college student, which is great for putting money away. You’ve got to pay yourself first, no matter how much or how little you make.

And reinvesting everything back into my business – so far it has paid dividends with being asked to play piano for a major rock star, and have many legends guesting on my record. It was a labor of love – driving up and down the US putting it together sometimes living out of my car and working with some real legends of the USA roots music world. The record is now finished. 

Well congratulations dude. It’s like finishing a book man. Anybody that’s ever written a book or have done music, it is nice when you have a sense of peace and it’s all done and you’ve got the physical books in your hands. Or in your case, a physical record. Or if maybe you guys are still stamping out some CDs.

Those things are starting to kind of come back now, especially records, which is kind of interesting. Who knows, maybe the old eight track tapes from the 1970s will make a reappearance. You never know, especially with all the digital stuff. People will love to have stuff that was from the real world, if you will.

At this time I began to see another woman called Susan. I often thought about Jessica but accepted we weren’t on the same page. Susan was a calm presence and very supportive of my passions, both in music and performative magic.

Your girl, whoever she is, needs to be your biggest cheerleader and fan. And obviously the other woman was not that. And that’s part of the problem when you only focus on how much you like the girl and you ignore the fact it’s not reciprocated. You’re going to suffer.

It was a surreal experience – doing deals with people at the top of the tree musically while delivering pizzas and sleeping on couches. But needs must – now I have a finished record and I own the masters. I have labels coming after me now after years of being ghosted and ignored. Jessica and I remained connected on Social Media, and I found her breadcrumbs annoying.

He’s going to take a blowtorch to this at the end. But you can see he’s frustrated after seven years, and he’s going to give her the big hairy middle finger. Not in a very nice way. She’s not nice to him either, but, it’s like he’s burning the bridge. Which probably is a good thing at this point. She needs to ride off into the sunset.

Eventually I emailed her to say “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in months but just letting you know…”

Just like, “You haven’t reached out.” Again, you’re communicating, you’re pissed off about that. You’re still hurt. So you’re revealing your cards there.

“Hey, I haven’t heard from you in months but just letting you know I’m moving on and please don’t reach out.” I then blocked her everywhere because seeing her was a distraction both to my career and my new developing romance with Susan.

Yeah. At the end of the day, when you recognize that she just don’t give a damn, even though you want things to be different and she’s letting you go, this is just basically him saying, yeah, let me throw a couple m-80’s in there and just really blow this up. Throw a couple grenades in there, a couple moabs, mother of all bombs.

I wanted to draw a clear line in the sand as Susan asked me for exclusivity and Jessica was still in that we are we aren’t on/off grey area.

Well, she really was just an occasional booty call. And the reality is, it seems like you were always the one reaching out. Anyways, you would reach out when you were in her neck of the woods to get together. Doesn’t sound like she reached out much to you. So again, it’s just when you give all the power away like that women like a guy, it’s a challenge.

And you just were not enough of a challenge with her. However, with Sweet Susan, things are totally different. You’ve done everything great from the get go. She cares about you. She supports you. She’s everything that the other girl was not. So it’s very satisfying when that happens.

She replied with an angry email accusing me of being immature, jealous and acting like a child. She said she was in love with me and that I was insulting her by not leaving the door open.

Oh yeah. Oh, I’m in love with you. It’s like, come on. It’s like if you were in love with this dude, you’d have been on the next plane to see him. You wouldn’t be able to go months without talking to him. So again, if somebody says, I love you. Those aren’t the actions of a woman with deep romantic love. She might love you as a person, but being in love, it’s like, that’s kind of hyperbole. She’s selling you some blue sky.

And I’m not talking about the shitty Twitter clone. You know, it’s kind of ironic that they named that thing blue Sky, because blue Sky in sales was always, you’re selling a load of bullshit. You’re painting the picture of something that, quite frankly is not legit. You’re selling blue sky. And so it’s so befitting that the people on the left name their Twitter clone blue Sky. Because ignorance is fucking bliss.

But anyways, I digress back from I don’t want to steal this guy’s thunder here, because this is very satisfying. It’s nice when this happens. Because eventually you just accept that it is what it is you feel the way you do. She feels the way she does. Her actions are her actions, despite what she says. “Oh, I’m in love with you. I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Like, yeah, come on. No you’re not. But she obviously likes the dick, so there’s that. So you can pat yourself on the back that you beat up her pelvis in a way that she obviously appreciated. And that’s why she lusted after your sexy body, but just not for a relationship. But now you’ve got sweet Susan.

I replied, “Dear Jessica, we have been involved for seven years. In the past I wanted exclusivity, romance and love but it’s clear that you didn’t want these things. The casual affair was fun while it lasted, but I’ve changed now and I’m pursuing a serious relationship with someone else. I wish you well but please leave me and us alone.”

Damn, you’re a fucking savage, bro.

She reacted angrily and blocked me on LinkedIn where I forgot to block her.

Onwards,

Bob

Well, you have to feel for Bob. I know it’s very satisfying just to tell her to take a hike, because at the end of the day, you gave her seven years. I don’t remember all the history. I know there were two previous emails. I don’t know if he even went into detail on everything that had happened.

But the bottom line is, if you take a step back from that, and look at her actions and go, what do her actions communicate? Haven’t heard from her in months. She obviously doesn’t miss him. And it’s kind of like, hey, it’s a nice occasional booty call. But other than that, she couldn’t give two fucks. But Sweet Susan, on the other hand, she’s happy to be your girl. And that’s what you want.

So congratulations. Maybe send us another email update six months, a year down the road. Let us know how things are going with Sweet Susan. And Congratulations. I know it’s satisfying. I know even though you were harsh and savage, I know it felt good. We’ve all been there.

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