In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a guy who says that after a few weeks of dating, women are getting mad at him, because they feel like he is avoiding them when they reach out to him first, regardless if they already have a future date planned or not. Sometimes they want to chat on the phone or text, but he says he’s trying to follow what my book teaches and not spend too much time on the phone.
I help him understand the fundamentals better, what he’s doing wrong and how to tweak his phone and texting game, so they get together more in person and avoid the trap of talking and texting too much, thereby causing her to lose interest. He’s acting too much like a robot, coming off as being cold and missing opportunities to escalate seduction and her bonding with him more. It’s a great email to help you fine tune going from casual dating and effortlessly transition into the relationship phase, so she feels like it’s her idea. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Hi Coach Corey Wayne!
I seem to be having a lot of trouble lately with women when it comes to talking over the phone and meeting up. You said in your book and in videos that the phone is only used for setting a definite date. I have done this with a recent girl I started talking to, and it worked in the beginning. However, as her attraction level increased, she started to text and call me more.
(When she started texting and calling you more, you should be getting together. It doesn’t have a to be a formal date where you go pick her up. As I talk about in the book, you start out with one date a week, and that’s when the guy facilitates it. Then once the woman starts reaching out, you’re going to start seeing each other more.
The idea is not to make her wait a whole week to see you, and then go out only once a week. The idea is to facilitate getting together in person, not try to be robotic about everything, following a bunch of rules. You start the courtship off, and as she kind of takes the ball and runs with it, you get to the point where you’re hanging out all of the time.As she likes you, the compliment is growing, she wants to bond and connect more, so if she reaches out, facilitate getting together. You can get together the same day if you have nothing else going on. It’s just totally natural. Around week 6 or 7, you’ll be staying at her house and she’ll be staying at yours. That’s just how things naturally progress. Don’t make it harder than it has to be dude.)
I know that’s a good thing, but when I answer her texts and phone calls, she ends up talking about various subjects.
(That’s going to happen, but it should be happening together in person.)
I know you say to only talk for a short time but she normally gets upset when I make up an excuse to get off the phone even if we had already scheduled to meet up soon.
(Invite her over for dinner or to go out and get dinner together.)
I try and get off the phone so that we could have stuff to talk about in person.
(She’s chasing you. If a woman is chasing and pursuing you, she’s not blowing you off. She want to see you more, so make it happen.)However, if we have a date coming up in a few days, how do I respond to her texts and calls up until that day?
(Just say, “Hey great to hear from you. What are you doing later? Have you got any plans tonight?” Invite her over to hang out.)
Do I ignore her until that day comes?
(Absolutely not. You’re all into technique, game playing and “what do I do next.” It’s not like that dude. This is what happens when you read the book 10-15 times, you don’t have situations where you’re trying to figure everything out. You just see the natural progression. She’s reaching out, she wants to see you more, so facilitate getting together, even if you already have a date set in a couple of days.)
And how would I avoid talking about subjects when she does reach out to me?
(Again, make a date happen. You’re several weeks into it, you’re hooking up already and she’s calling and texting you at night. Just tell her to come on over.)
Thanks Coach Corey Wayne! Hope to hear from you soon!
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Before mobile phones and the internet, people mostly got together in person to get to know one another. With modern technology, human beings are literally digitally connected to each other 24/7. Dating is like sales skills 101, in that you close the sale in person to be the most effective and successful. Building sexual anticipation is essential in a way that is similar to how television and movies always leave you wanting more with a cliffhanger and unresolved tension. This makes you tune in for the next television episode or to go see the movie sequel. Talking on the phone and texting, instead of making your romantic real life movie in person, is like someone telling you how a movie or TV episode ends before you’ve seen it. When a woman reaches out to a man more and more as the courtship proceeds and the sexual anticipation grows, the man should only relieve the tension by courting her in person. More reaching out by her means more frequent get-togethers. She opens the door, and all you have to do is walk through it.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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