Texting That Attracts vs. Repels

How to properly use phone texting & messaging to create attraction, set dates & seduce women who like you. As I discussed in my book, you should use texting/phone calls/e-mail/etc. to set definite dates with women you like, not to have a relationship or get to know them. Women like men who are direct and who get to the point. When you send dozens of text’s and e-mails back and forth before you ever ask a woman out, she’s usually lost interest because you talked her right out of liking you by the time you do ask her out. You should never apologize for feeling sexual attraction for a woman and wanting to take her out on a date. If she accepts, you’re excited. If she says no, you’re respectful, but you feel it’s her loss and move on. Too many men get hung up and fixated on one woman before she’s earned it. The guys act and assume as if she’s naturally going to feel the same way while ignoring the signs she does not. This leads to rejection and pain! The following is an e-mail from a reader who has made many mistakes due to excessive contact, apologizing for his interest and acting like a pleaser. He has included his and her texts so you can get a really good idea of where he went wrong and what he should have done differently so you don’t make the same mistakes he did. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hi Corey,

I’m hoping you can help me out with a girl that seems to have gone cold on me. Some background… I’m recently divorced after 9 years of marriage. I met a girl online, we emailed for a while. She eventually gave me her number and then we exchanged texts for few days. I asked her to meet and she readily accepted. We ended up meeting for lunch. (Big mistake. You don’t take women you want to date and seduce to lunch for your first meeting. That’s what her friend would do, not her lover.) It went well, and while we didn’t make definite plans we talked about getting together again. (You never ask for a second date while you are still on your first. This communicates neediness and that you don’t get second dates very often. It makes you look desperate and like you are unsuccessful with women.) She told me to call her to set something up. She texted me that night telling me how great it was to meet me and how much she enjoyed spending time with me. (That was a good sign.) Eventually we did make plans to go to dinner, which we had to cancel because she was sick. I’ve included this text exchange below. I believe she really was sick given that I know she missed work and we had talked up to that day. It wasn’t a last minute excuse or anything. She ended up having pneumonia.

At any rate, I can already see I did a few things wrong and probably came off as too accommodating and probably too needy. (Ya think? You are fearful of losing her, so you’ve been trying to force everything. This destroys a woman’s feeling of safety and comfort with you and thus, attraction. You must practice infinite patience with women.) I didn’t really want to be insensitive by trying to get her to commit to a firm date when she was really sick. I also let it become too much of a texting relationship. (That is weak dude. Excessive contact guarantees rejection. You use the phone/email/texting/etc. to set dates, not have a relationship with her.) Not sure, she is younger than me: 34 vs 25, and she liked texting. I know I am caught up in the “One” myth with her. (That’s a colossal mistake that will lead to a broken heart on your part.) Partially because of the divorce being fairly awful even though I was the one who ended it, and partially because it has always been my tendency prior to being married. I dumped my online membership and ignored the multiple other girls who had initiated emailing me on there after I met this girl. (Another MASSIVE MISTAKE. You can’t improve your pickup, dating & seduction skills unless you have multiple women to practice on. Now you only have this one girl who it seems your “nice guy” approach is only getting you frustrated.) Again, probably a big mistake because now all I do is think about this girl. (You should immediately turn your dating profile back on, modify it with your criteria of the perfect woman for you and use this article I wrote to help you create an online dating profile that brings you very high quality women to date.) I think I still deal with confidence issues from when I was younger. Even though I have no trouble getting attractive girls to at least go out with me… I think I still have lots of trouble advancing past this first stage of the relationship. (That is because you must let women chase you! You never give this girl any space to miss and start to feel more attraction for you because you are in such a rush to get to the marriage alter. If you don’t let women come to you at their own pace, then you won’t get very many second dates.)

Texts related to our cancelled second date:

Her: “Hey, I’m still pretty sick can I please take a rain check? I’m so sorry”
Me: “Hey. I’m really sorry you’re still feeling bad. Of course you can take a rain check. I’m happy to get together when you’re better and have some time off” (Translation: “Please call me, I hope you like me your highness.” I would have said, “No problem, I’m sure you’d rather try to impress me without snot running down your face lol. Text me when you’re better so we can have some more fun honey :)” and then focused on dates with other women and practicing your skills.)
Her: “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to seeing you again…”
Me: ” Its perfectly okay, I just want you to feel better. No need to try to eat dinner sick, probably thinking “why is this guy wanting me to come to dinner when I have strep throat. J/K” Upon reading this again, this seems like a stupid text on my part. (You’re apologizing to her for her being sick. Your response is long and unnecessary. Look at the length of her texts vs. your texts. YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION to these things! Your response makes you sound like a nice guy pleaser who has no luck with women. Not attractive.)
Me: “And I really look forward to seeing you again, too… I like getting to know you more and more.” This one may have been too. (You’re drooling all over her now and acting dopey.)

We texted again the next night about how she was doing. I was out of town for work and waiting two days to text her this:

Me: ” Hey… how are you? Just wanted to say hi and see how you’re feeling. Been wondering how you’ve been doing with the pneumonia, just was hectic out in Phoenix and got back late yesterday.” (If you would have told her to text you when she’s better like I detailed in my response to your previous texts above, this whole line of texting would have been unnecessary. You must give women the space to reciprocate interest and start to initiate contact with you. You act so desperate and needy that you are too scared to wait to hear from her. If she did not call, then guess what? She’s not interested. You put all your eggs in one basket and closed yourself off to all other possibilities AFTER 1 LUNCH DATE!!!! This causes you to suffer UNNECESSARILY!!!)
Her: “I figured, I didnt want to bother you. Its my first night back at work. I’m fatigued, but my trainee is handling most of my work. How are you?”
Me: “Yea, was wondering if you were back at work. Has your asthma been acting up with being sick? I am doing okay, glad to be back home. It was too damn hot out there. I’m pretty sure I was close to heat stroke yesterday stuck on the runway for an hour… people on the plane were ready to riot” (Love is playful and fun, not serious. You’re not her doctor, but you act like one so you can spring a new date request upon her the moment you think she’s better instead of trusting that if she really liked you, she’d call you when she felt better. This makes you look like you’re not a catch and not very successful with other women. Therefore, if other women don’t want you, then she thinks to herself based upon your actions… “why should I want him then?”)

That was last Thursday. Well, she never responded to that last text and I haven’t heard from her since. (It was a totally unnecessary text exchange that should have never happened in the first place. It simply made you look weak. That’s why you have not heard from her. She assumes you’ll call or text her anyway; you always have. Therefore, she’s not missing out on anything, nor does she have to worry about some other hot girl coming along and stealing you from her.) That was 3 days ago. She gets busy at work and has not replied right away before, (Another blatant sign you are ignoring that communicates her true interest level in you which is obviously very low at this point. See page 120 in my book for more detail on how to tell where a woman’s true level of romantic interest in you is. I can tell you don’t know the material in my book well enough yet. You’re making way too many rookie and unnecessary mistakes. You need to read it 10-15 times to the point you could teach a class on it. Human beings only retain about 10% of what we read, see and hear each time we review it. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) but she usually writes the next day. This is the longest we haven’t communicated since we started emailing a month ago. Any advice on what to do now? (Yea, nothing. You’ve done enough. Wait to hear from her. If she does, then make a definite date with definite plans. If she won’t make definite plans, then just say, “Let’s just do it another time when your schedule is more definite.” Then wait to hear from her again.) I like her a lot, but at this point I don’t want to continue to come off as desperate if I’ve already done that so far. I thought about calling her and directly asking her to go out, but not feeling her interest due to the lack of contact. (See, your “spidey sense” is telling you not to call her. Learn to trust that! Wait to hear from her and get busy practicing what I teach with other women so you can master all 3 methods of seduction. It’s the only way you can improve your skills and start to succeed with women. It’s much easier to do the right thing with women when you’re dating several. Then you never have to worry about screwing up with one, and will act more like a man who is a catch, thereby, creating attraction. This will cause women to want you more!)

Thanks,

Bob

“A man who is a master of patience is a master of everything else.” ~ George Saville