In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a woman who is successful, busy and very choosy. She is obviously frustrated with the men she is meeting and dating. She says there is an overabundance of dopey beta males who seem to be looking for mommy to tell them what to do, then there are alpha males who take charge, go for what they want and know how to date and seduce an alpha female. She talks about some of the revolting, weak behavior she sees men display on dates, and how most guys talk her right out of liking them. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of her email.
Hey Coach,How are you doing? I recently stumbled across your channel and website and must first say, Bravo! You understand women! I am a successful, educated AND BUSY woman who has done very well for myself. I’m choosy, but will certainly make time for a great match. I love to laugh, explore life, have a good time and get serious… SLOWLY.
(Women fall in love slowly over time, but on TV and movies these days, you see guys are focused on a relationship and locking her down to a commitment. If you look back 30, 40, 50, 60 years ago at the older movies, it was the exact opposite. Guys were following their purpose, their mission in life, and the last thing they wanted to do was settle down and have a family. But of course, a beautiful woman was always able to talk them into it.
What you see on TV today is the men doing everything they can to scheme and plot to get the girl, teaching men that they have to prove themselves. It’s ridiculous. Sexual attraction has already been handled by nature. If someone can’t see your greatness, move on to the next. You want somebody who’s excited and enthusiastic at the opportunity to spend time with you. Date people who have similar goals, values and interests, and you’ll never run out of things to talk about.)
My situation is coming from the other side; being a woman who seems to attract dopey, beta males.
(It might be where you’re hanging out. What are you doing for fun? Are you hanging out in places where successful, alpha males are? Are you wearing hot outfits that make you look attractive? Are you taking care of yourself, staying in shape? All of these things… dressing feminine, being femine, being girly. The more masculine a guy is, the more he’s going to be attracted to that.If you’re only attracting dopey, beta males, you’re attracting guys who probably were raised by a mother. If there are no strong men in their lives to teach them how to be a man, they’ll grow up acting more like a woman. I get lots of emails from single mothers telling me they’re using my book to teach their son how to act like a man, which I think is awesome. It’s an incredible honor, and I appreciate all of the ladies who send me their stories and tell me that.)
(It could partially be a reflection of the fact you are so much in your masculine. If you’re really in your masculine, not dressing sexy, looking hot, getting your hair and nails done and not acting like a woman, the alpha male, quite frankly, is not going to be attracted to that. An alpha male wants a woman who’s completely feminine, confident in her own sex appeal and femininity, and not acting like dude.)
I have dated successful professionals and good-looking guys, but cannot seem to find an alpha male. The last guy I went out with was planning our future together on the second date!
(That’s why I teach the three H’s: hang out, have fun and hook up. There’s nothing in that formula about planning the future. Why is that? Because feminine energy is about bonding, connecting, opening up to receive love, dating labels, commitment, marriage, the whole nine yards.
When a guy starts bringing this up on the second date, he’s acting like a fucking mangina. But again, when you see the TV and movies, that’s what they’re telling guys to do, and that’s going to brainwash them, especially if they’re growing up in a house where they don’t have good examples to follow or they’re missing that masculine essence.)Non-stop texts and phone calls followed.
(This is a guy who’s needy, insecure, is unsure of himself, and doesn’t think he has a lot to offer a woman, so he’s trying to make up for it by trying to force things. All it does is repulse her.)
Needless to say, there wasn’t a third date.
(The guy’s thinking, “I did what exactly you see on TV. I was a nice guy, I bought her dinner, I took her out, I talked about her future, told her what I wanted, and told her why I was such a great, virtuous man.” He probably told her he was a feminist.)
This happens quite a bit, or the person doesn’t ask for a date and gets mad when I stop texting.
(Here’s a guy who’s indirect, indecisive, and he thinks, “I’ve got to text her and I’ve got to talk to her for weeks and weeks on end. Then, when she sees how awesome I am, I’ll ask her out, and she’ll be excited.” But you’ve got to be direct, you’ve got to be decisive, and you’ve got to get right to the fucking point.)
I don’t have time for a guy who needs his hand held. I want a WARRIOR.
(A warrior would ask you out, take you out, he’d hang out with you, he’d have fun with you, he’d be interested in who you are and getting to know you, and when you start playing with your hair and touching his arm and getting extra close, he’s just going to grab you and start making out with you. Then he’d say, “You want to get out of here, go back to my place and have a bottle of wine?” And you’ll probably say, “Finally, a man. Let’s do it.”)How can I attract guys who are masculine, confident and will play it cool?
(Be more feminine, more sexy, more playful. Go where those kinds of men are. Successful alpha males like to hang out with successful alpha females. You are who you associate with. You become like the five people you spend most of your time with.
So where are these alpha males hanging out? Fun places, successful places. What do you love to do for fun? Go do those things, and you’ll meet other guys in the process that like the same things.)
Thank you for giving men such great advice. Keep up the good work!
(Well, thanks for great questions from the lady’s perspective. Men, get to work and learn the fundamentals. Women are dying for more guys. It’s time to grow a fucking set of balls and start making shit happening by learning the fundamentals in my book.)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women want to be seduced and sexually taken by alpha males. Not placating, weak, feminized beta males who are too scared to stand up for what they believe in, themselves and who seem to be scared of their own shadow. It is the nature of masculine energy to be purpose minded, focused, determined and confident, even when the future is in doubt. Being unsure of of oneself is feminine, not masculine. If you don’t believe in yourself, and act accordingly, you’re certainly not going to convince women to believe in you either. Women will match and mirror whatever you think about yourself back to you. They will magnify either your strengths or your weaknesses, depending upon your vibe and how you show up. That is why being successful with women is more about creating a life and lifestyle that supports the manifestation of your grandest goals and dreams, than what you say or do around women. If you don’t feel successful or like you are on a path to success and achieving your dreams, being successful with women will be elusive and inconsistent.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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