The Art Of Creating Rapport That Leads To Successful Seductions

How to master the art of creating rapport that leads to successful seductions.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who matched with a girl on Tinder. They hooked up on their first date. A week later she invited him over to watch a movie to Netflix and Chill. They hooked up again. However, the next week she told him she didn’t want to have sex and asked if that would be ok when he came over. He said sure. Then she started becoming flakey, distant and canceling dates. He started ignoring her. Eventually they went out on another date, but this was 2 months since he last saw her. She was distant and he “confronted” her about it. She then started complaining that her head hurt and if he could take her home. She apologized the next day and he stopped replying because he was mad. He asks what caused her to act so flakey and distant. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter and the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter.

And by the way, thank you for being a paid subscriber. We really appreciate you guys subscribing. I’ve been kind of surprised at how many people are signing up so quickly for the Members Only stuff. So, really appreciate you.

So this particular email is, “The Art Of Creating Rapport That Leads To Successful Seductions.”

So this particular email is from a viewer. he matched with a girl on Tinder, which is also kind of known as the hookup app. And so, they hooked up on their first date. And then a week later she invited him over to Netflix and Chill, they hooked up again. And then the next week, like when they got together, she’s like, “Oh, I don’t want to have sex.” He’s like, “Okay.”

But he noticed that something had changed. And then so after that, her behavior became a little squirrelly. He kind of got a little pissed off and butthurt and mad, ignored her a couple times. She broke a date on him, and it kind of looks like there’s probably some other dude in the background. Could be an ex-boyfriend, could be another guy that was also a friends with benefits.

That’s kind of in and out of the picture. But, you know, he’s kind of shot himself in the foot by getting angry and ignoring her. And I got to confront her because, like the last time they saw each other, it had been almost two months since he got together with her. And he’s like, she was really cold, really distant.

And he was expecting her to be just as warm and just as hot for him as the last time they hung out. And instead it was almost like she was kind of a stranger. So this is, you know, kind of a rookie mistake, or just guys that haven’t practiced enough with enough women the stuff that’s in 3% Man. So let’s see what we can do to clean up his game.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Corey,

Back in November I matched with a girl on Tinder and she began talking to me right away, seemed super interested and we set up our first date for the following Friday.

Just something to keep in mind. Oftentimes when girls go on Tinder, especially Tinder, because it’s a hookup app, for the most part, it’s known as that. Is oftentimes if a girl has just had a breakup or something, went sideways with a guy, they go on there to replace the intimacy they had with new intimacy from somebody else. And so, you get involved with somebody like that, there’s a good chance that the ex is not completely gone yet.

And because women know that the quickest way to get over somebody is to start something new. And most women, 75% of the time, are doing the breaking up and filing for a divorce. And typically when they leave they leave when their feelings are pretty much gone. So that’s why it’s so easy for them to move on and start meeting and dating somebody else. So quickly. And guys are usually surprised at that. Because the other thing to keep in mind is women are never out of the game.

If she’s a hot girl, she’s always getting hit on. Doesn’t matter whether she’s married or in a relationship. If she’s hot and she goes out in public, dudes are talking to her, hitting on her, approaching her. And so, the difference between men and women is that when a woman becomes single, instead of saying, “No, I’m sorry, I’m married, no thank you, I have a boyfriend.” Or, “I’m in a relationship.” She just says, “Sure.” And she gives out her number.

Whereas us guys who’ve been with somebody for a couple of years, it’s like you’re a little rusty. You got to get a number. You got to approach girls, you got to go out on dates. You got to be a little rusty. It takes time to get back in the swing of things. Where all women have to do is just go, “Okay” and give out their number. That’s how hard they have to work. Us guys, we got to put way more effort into it. And that’s, you know, a big reason why guys are just shocked at how quickly women will move on after a breakup.

When I met her I could tell she was very excited to meet me, was asking me lots of questions and couldn’t take her eyes off me. As we were sitting at the table, I couldn’t help but notice that she kept pulling her chair closer and closer to me.

Well, the whole purpose of seduction is to get closer and closer to a woman until she ultimately ends up, or you end up inside of her. Obviously, you don’t want her to end up inside of you unless you’re into strap-ons and weird things, and butt plugs and all that. But hey, I don’t judge. I don’t judge whatever. Whatever floats your boat. You guys go be as freaky as you want. And so, the other thing is, is that she’s getting closer and closer because she likes you.

And these are the things you look for in The Book. And the other thing that pops into mind when I see that is that remember the Adam Carolla quote, “When a woman likes you, the doors start opening and all you got to do is walk through. But if the door starts slamming in your face, then you walk away.” And so, at this point, she’s opening the doors and she’s pulling you in. So that’s all a good sign. Makes it easy and effortless. And quite frankly, that’s the way it should be.

At one point she reached out and touched my face, I knew the time was right and went in for the kiss.

Yeah, that was her way of saying, “Hey, touching is okay. Touch me back.”

After the kiss I asked her if she wanted another drink and she said no but said she wanted to see my place.

In other words, she’s like, “I’m ready to have sex with you as long as you don’t talk me out of it.”

I called an Uber and we had an amazing session of the indoor Olympics that night.

Cha ching, cha cha cha cha cha. [imitates spitting sound]

The next day I dropped her off at her place and she began texting me daily from that moment on.

She’s super highly interested, because again, I’ve read the email already. More than likely there was some other dude that she’s kind of running from the pain of the breakup or whatever. Or the rejection.

I always made an effort to only text her back a couple times during the day to avoid being on the phone.

Well you shouldn’t ignore a girl, and I know that’s part of what this guy has done, is that he would just ignore her. You can be slow to reply, but you got to reply within 24 hours and the longer you wait, you know, it’s like you got to match and mirror her effort.

And if she’s keen on you and she’s constantly texting you and calling you, then just invite her over. If she texts you the next day or the next night, she’s like, “Hey, what are you doing?” If it’s like 10:00 at night just say, “Come over.” That’s all you need to do. You don’t need to go out on an official date or nothing. Just, “Come over.”

The next Friday I had another girl I was seeing cancel on me, so I asked if she was free and she told me I could come to her place and watch a movie.

That’s pretty easy. She’s down for a booty call.

Once again the sex was great and I didn’t arrange another date until the following week where she again wanted me to come over and watch another movie.

Girl likes to Netflix and chill.

That same week I had a leg injury so I couldn’t do my regular sports after work, and she persisted on seeing me during the week so I arranged to go over on a Thursday this time. But on Wednesday night, she asked me if it would be ok for us to watch a movie in the living room with her roommate and I said it wasn’t a problem.

Survey says, Ah! So you’ve got a Cock Blocker. And she’s doing it on purpose. Why? To prevent a successful seduction. So you should have said, “Well, if you’d rather hang out with your roommate, you know we can get together another time if it’s not good for you.” And if she says, “No, I, I just, you know, blah, blah, blah. I was like, well, you know, we’re still getting to know each other. I’m sure your roommate’s a great person. But, you know, I like spending time one on one. And if it’s not a good night, we can just do it another night when your schedule is better.” You do the takeaway very artfully. But he says okay, so he goes over and gets Cock Blocked.

That Thursday, we sat in the living room where she introduced me to her roommate and even her roommates boyfriend came in later and said “Oh, you must be Bob.” After the movie finished, we went back into her room where I started kissing her and she said, “Would it be ok if we don’t fuck tonight?”

Ehh!

And obviously I said yes but did find it a little odd. She also began telling me about her work that night and told me that I can meet everyone at her work at some point which I took to be a good sign. The next night she texted me again as she always did and I responded the next morning before work. This is where things started going sideways. 

After that text, I heard nothing from her for the next week and was confused but thought she was ghosting me.

Well, at the end of the day, The Book says the fallback position is once a week.

I had a date for the following Saturday and at 1 in the morning I received a phone call that happened to be from her but didn’t answer it as I was with my other date for the night. I called her back the next day but no answer. Two days later she texts me saying “sorry for the midnight booty call, hope your all good” to which I replied, “Just sorry I missed the call, I’ll make it up to you next time” and she didn’t respond.

The next Saturday I was doing my shopping, and I got a text from her asking if I was in the shopping center, I said “Yes, did you see me?” to which she said yes and went on to say “you really are a beautiful man”. I responded by asking her availability to set a date and she started giving slower responses, but we agreed that I would pick her up and take her for a drink on Christmas eve.

Christmas Eve. That’s pretty serious, Dude. I don’t think you’ve read The Book and that’s why you’re making these kinds of mistakes. I would not be getting together on Christmas Eve. That’s family and friends type stuff. And you’ll see why. It’s just too much, too soon. So he’s allowing her to invite Cock Blocker’s over to get in the way of a seduction, because there’s probably some other guy in the picture there has to be. It’s the only thing that would make sense. It’s the only thing that would explain her behavior.

On the day of the date, 1 hour before I was due to pick her up, she texts me to say she was at her aunt’s house which was an hour away but would be leaving soon. I told her to let me know when she was back at hers and when she was ready, but I was due to pick her up at 7 and around 8 I asked her for an ETA and an hour later she simply said “Sorry, Christmas family drama”.

Yeah, that’s pretty rude. See, what’s happening is you’re allowing her to jerk you around. If you’re about to leave to go pick her up and she says, “Oh, yeah, I’m an hour away.” I was like, “Well, it is Christmas Eve. And if you’re busy with family, why don’t we just, you know, do it after the holidays?” That’s what I would say. Do the takeaway.

But instead you’re like, “Hey, it’s totally okay. Your Highness. It’s totally okay. You know. Please waste my time. Thank you. It’s all right. You can waste my time. No problem.” That’s what he communicated. And she’s like, “Oh, your time is not very valuable. It’s not worth anything. Well, well then I’m going to waste it.”

So if you don’t value your time, nobody else will either. Especially a girl. Can you guys hear my stomach going? [rumbling] Lunch is coming up soon and I’ve still got more videos to film, so I’ll be here for a while so it’ll be some grumbling and mumbling in the background.

I was extremely hurt and upset but didn’t bother responding. The next day she wrote me a big apology text and a long excuse that seemed like total bullshit, she also tried to call me twice but I was still angry, so I didn’t pick up.

You see, I don’t teach to ignore girls. And it’s like, that’s passive aggressive. And it’s like, so what you’re communicating is you’re communicating that your butthurt. And what she did, I mean, if the old, late, great Doc Love would have said, “One chance per chick per lifetime.”

She does that to you on Christmas Eve. It’s like he would have been like, “That’s it. She’s out. Never, ever date or see her again.” But she’s really kind of a booty call. And this guy is making a lot of obvious mistakes.

Two days later she asked what I was doing that night but again I was still angry so didn’t reply.

Yeah, it’s not good to do that, Dude.

About 3 weeks later I decided to give her one more chance and text her asking if she wanted that drink we never got, and she seemed really into it. I set the date 2 weeks in advance and didn’t text her again.

You know, it’s like, and then he’s like, “I must do a date two weeks from now. I’m going to punish her. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.” Bad way to go. You just should not be doing this. Because again, it communicates your upset and your uncentered.

And if she’d have reached out, I would have just been like, “Come over.” I don’t know why you’re driving her. Maybe you don’t have your own place or whatever, but you should just be inviting her over to hang out and have fun and hook up. Instead of always going to her.

The next weekend she messaged me asking if I wanted to come over, but I was busy so said no but that I would see her the following week for our date. The day of the date arrived, and it marked almost 2 months since I last seen her so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

I picked her up and took her to a local bar for a drink and to play some pool. The whole evening I couldn’t help but notice that she seemed off and totally different from the girl I knew before.

You haven’t seen her in two months and she’s probably been getting dicked down by Chad Thunder Cock. And quite frankly, you went away like a butthurt baby. So it takes time to create rapport again. So that’s totally normal and understandable.

As we were playing pool, I noticed she was touching me and getting close which I knew was a good sign. After that we sat and had another drink where she came close and I went in for the kiss, she kissed me back but something was different, like she wasn’t as into it. I then decided to ask her what was going on.

“I’ve got to confront her. What is going on? You’re not as into me as before. I’m angry. Angry. Angry. Angry! Argh. Argh.” Don’t do it, Bro. Don’t do it, Man.

I asked why she was being flakey and acting funny to which her body language changed from relaxed to crossed.

Her arms crossed.

And she simply said, “life” in a high pitched voice with a nervous laugh.

Life. Ehh!

She then started complaining that she had a sore head and that I needed to take her home.

“Oh darn it, I got a headache all of a sudden. Shit. You gotta take me home right now.”

The car ride was awkward, she kept saying she had a sore head and once I dropped her off she simply said that I should text her tomorrow but I never did.

Yeah, I wouldn’t have either.

The next Tuesday she text me saying her head was still sore and asked how I was but I never responded.

It’s like, yeah, I don’t know who you’re following, but if you constantly ignore a girl like that, it’s just communicates you don’t give a shit, and you’re mad and you’re butthurt and you’re upset.

That was two months ago now and although I know something strange was going on, I do regret just ghosting her. My question is this, what do you think was going on with her to act like that?

Well, Chad Thunder Cock was back in the picture or the ex-boyfriend was back in the picture.

And also, did I make a mistake by not keeping in touch with her? 

Bob

Well, you ghosted her and basically made her feel like you didn’t give a shit about her. So if you just ignored her, what do you think is going to happen? She’s reaching out. She wants your attention. And as The Book says, if a woman reaches out, you assume she wants to see you, you make the next date.

In this case, because you guys were fuck buddies, you should have just invited her over to your place and hung out, had fun and hooked up. Especially when she cancelled a date and jerked you around and had roommates to Cock Block you. But then again, you know that was your mistake. By not knowing The Book and not knowing the material, and agreeing to a group date that predictably got you Cock Blocked at.

So you could reach out to her one more time. If it was me, it’s like I’d reach out to her and I’m like, “Hey, what are you doing?” And just invite her over to your place. Hang out and have fun and hook up. And if she ever reaches out in the future, make her come to you for at least the next three dates. I’d be following what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. And you know there’s no need to go out on official grand dates and all that stuff.

It’s just she was a booty call, and you haven’t heard from her. Maybe the other guys in the picture. But this, “I have to confront her. Dun dun dun. I must confront you. You are not treating me properly.” It’s like, come on, Dude, be easygoing, easy to get along with. Take the fucking stick out of your ass and just chill out, Dude. Easygoing. Everything always works out for me in the end. Have positive expectation that things are going to go your way.

So yeah, I’d reach out, invite her over, hang out, have fun, hook up. She may ignore you. She may reply right away. It’s like, “Hey, I want to see you.” And if she’s like, “Well, you never responded.” And I was like, “Yeah, just, you know, quite frankly, I kind of felt like you were probably maybe talking to an ex. Or maybe you’re not over an ex-boyfriend or something. You were seeing somebody else.”

“It was just like, you know, I figured, you know, give her some space, figure it out. And that’s, you know, I hadn’t heard from you in a couple of months. That’s why I got in touch.” But it’s possible you get in touch with her and she’s with somebody else now. So if she says that, you’re like, “Hey, call me if you change your mind.” And she probably will. But the way you acted, you ghosted her and basically said, “I don’t want anything to do with you.” The silence was deafening.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page on my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.