The Art Of Pulling Back To Create Attraction

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1. Anthony says

   March 6, 2015 at 10:41 am

   I’ve already bought your book. True words every man should read. Me and my girl have been have a dynamite three months, but then her dad got sick for about a month (month four) and she was under enormous stress. Our sex life basically came to a screeching halt. I consulted with friends who were girls about how to approach her when she was so stressed out.

   They all said the same thing. Just be there for her. And I was. I’d do simple stuff like go feed her cat and take her trash can to the road. Occasionally we would see each other, but I was more or less just running her errands for her while she sat with her dad. Being an attentive boyfriend. I think this triggered her subconscious into thinking I was too available and too attentive. Although it was during a time of true need.

   Well, her dad is better now and out of the hospital. She hardly speaks. She still invites me over, but acts cold and distant. It kind of pisses me off a little, but I always keep my cool to show her I can’t be brought down. I would love to get back to the place where we were having sex three-four times a week and having her chase me and call me all the time.

   She agreed to come over last night for dinner. I read what you said about creating a fun environment for sex to happen, so I did. I made an amazing dinner, had wine poured and Sinatra playing. Candles lit on the dining room table. The whole nine yards. I remained confident and didn’t come off as needing anything.

   We wound up sitting next to each other on the couch. She held my arm for a lot of the movie we were watching and let me brush her neck and chest. At one point she even put her head in my lap. I still feel deep inside me she is only doing this out of obligation to protect me from “reacting” (which I have never done).

   On top of all this her dad’s trip to the hospital ruined our romantic get-away we had planned. That was a serious blow to something we’d both been excited about for quite some time. I’ve pulled back, but she immediately asks me why I’m being so distant. So I’ve already gotten her used to being there for her (because of dad and hospital shit). How do I get back to the guy image I was for her and in-turn make her realize that to keep me around, she has to respect my efforts? All without seeming cold myself, because that never works with this girl. She just gets colder.

   She’s been stress, low, and tired for a month now. So I’m being a lot more patient than I would normally be. It’s an outside factor that I cannot control, I realize, but it’s making me a little weary of the long term with her.

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2. Q Ortiz says

   July 14, 2024 at 4:12 pm

   Continually gauge the level of attraction in order to understand how to respond…in ALL relationships.

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