The benefits of talking to strangers and how it can improve your social skills, life, confidence and happiness.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who has now listened to my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, eight times so far. He shares how he started implementing my book and talking to strangers in the mall, and later the gym, work, coffee shops, house parties with friends, etc., and how this improved his social skills, life, confidence and happiness.
He also describes how his dating and social life improved dramatically as a result of committing to the process of getting better. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
I’ve got an email success story here from a guy and he shares how his life has changed. A big part of what he incorporated was becoming a more social person. He spent a lot of time working on his social skills — the things that I talk about in the video I did many years ago called “How to Improve Your Social Skills,” as well as the video, “The Process of Improving Your Social Skills.”
Being able to create rapport any time, any place, anywhere with other human beings and getting them to like you and become your ally, whether that’s to become a friend, get them to invest in your business, get them to become your client, or potentially somebody to go out on a date with is a great skill to have. Because any time you can leave your house and go and interact with other human beings, even if you don’t know anybody there, and create rapport and cause other people to like you and trust you and want to become your friend and your ally, it’s incredible what it can do to help skyrocket your success.
Because if you’re sitting at home, you’re flipping through dating apps, or you’re not really interacting with other human beings, it’s hard, next to impossible, to grow your confidence by doing nothing. And confidence is really just doing what you know how to do and doing it really well. Since repetition is the mother of skill, improving your social skills and your ability to be a well-liked person is essential to getting the jobs that you want, to getting the promotions you want, making your life easy and setting yourself apart, obviously, from any potential competition you may have.
We’ll go through this guy’s email because this is such an important skill that people need to learn, especially early on in life. And a great way to facilitate this, especially if you’re young, is to go out and get a job in some kind of service industry, whether it’s bartending or waiting tables or some kind of a customer service job where you’re constantly interacting with and helping customers all day long. Because then you get to deal with people that are in a good mood, people that are in a crappy mood, people that are just mediocre, people that have nice personalities, people have no personality, and you get to see the whole gamut of human beings that are out there.
And if you’re trying to improve your romantic life, when you encounter women and you’re able to cause them to like you because you’ve talked to so many strangers, talking to a pretty girl, you no longer feel overwhelmed by it. You’re no longer in that mindset of, “Oh, I hope she likes me.” Now you’re in the mindset of, “Is she good for me? Is she a good person? Is she trustworthy, or does she belong to the streets?”
We all need this skill. It’s essential, we have to develop it. If you’re going to get the things you want in life from other people, you have to be able to influence them. And if you have a background in sales, you know the first thing in sales is that you want to create rapport, you want to get people to like you. And you do that by asking questions, taking a sincere, authentic interest in the other human being and trying to get them to talk about the kind of things that they enjoy talking about. It makes it really easy, because you give off the vibe of an old friend or somebody they already know, versus somebody that’s trying to get something from them.
Here, you’re giving the gift of another human being who actually wants to take the time to listen. When was the last time a total stranger you bumped into or you met at some kind of social event or social function really seemed interested in wanting to know what you were about and wanted to ask you questions? When was the last time somebody made you feel like, “Wow, this person’s really cool. They’re they’re actually taking the time to get to know me.” When was the last time that happened? Something to think about.
Therefore, if you really improve your social skills like this guy did, you’re really not going to have much competition, because most people, the 97 percenters, they won’t do it. And if you apply the social skills to what you learned in my second book,
Mastering Yourself, all the wisdom that’s in here can help you with your career, or especially if you’re trying to raise money for a company, things of that nature.
Also, Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations is out. The audio book is now available in iTunes as well. It’s on Audible, hardcover, paperback. Everything’s available. The reviews so far are coming out really good. I appreciate all the kind comments and kind words. I’m glad you guys like it.
My name is Bob and you’ve never heard from me in the past, but I just want to thank you for sharing your book and teaching me not only how to deal with women but how to be a 3% man! I got a new perspective on my career, and things have honestly been awesome on that front, I feel like I have a new fresh set of ideals and a plan with it, so thank you again. I also wanted to share a quick story with you and maybe for other men who feel like this might not work or are doubting themselves.
Well, the only reason you’re doubting yourself and you’re feeling fearful about anything in life is you haven’t done enough repetitions of it. You have to do enough successful repetitions along with unsuccessful repetitions to get competent. And so, if you presently suck at something and you’re a novice at it, you have to practice over, and over, and over, and over, and over again until you become an expert. Not until you get tired of it, not until it gets too hard and you want to give up. You do it until you become an expert. It’s not a matter of hope. It’s simply a matter of time, and you have to put the time in. When it comes to self-help and self-reliance, you’ve got to put the time in. There’s no escaping that.
I’m currently on my 8th listen of your book and have been implementing your tips and recommendations since day 1. I would go to the mall and just talk to everyone! Male, female, old, young, skinny, fat, and even the employees in the mall.
You make everybody feel special because you’re taking the time to get to know them, to ask them questions. Because again, like I said a few minutes ago, when was the last time somebody came up to you that you didn’t know and actually asked you a question that they really wanted to know the answer to and were sincere and interested in what you had to say?
It shows you just how valuable this can be if so few people have come up to you and engage you in conversation and create rapport where you’re like, “I like this person.” You can really set yourself apart with this. And I’m all about the cheat codes of life. That’s what “How To Be A 3% Man,” “Mastering Yourself,” and now, “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations” are all about. These are the cheat codes to life, and they’re free at UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the email newsletter.
Granted, I never really had an issue talking to people, but where my issue was was talking too much and chasing, looking back now.
Well, if you’re chasing, you’re trying to force things, and when you try to force things it’s because deep down you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t have much to offer. That’s why you try to force things, because you’re driven by fear. And women can smell it.
The mall was a good start but after a few weeks I started to get annoyed a bit just because I don’t like malls all that much, so I decided to do the same thing elsewhere! At the gym, work, my coffee shop, house parties my friends would throw, and I would do amazing!
Yeah, you can clean up at a baby shower. If you get invited to a friend’s baby shower, there’s usually a lot of women there, usually plenty of single women too. You just never know. It doesn’t have to be some big event that you go out to, “I’m going out to meet a woman tonight. I’m gonna go pick up some girls.” You’ve just got to go out and have fun and live your life, and you bump into them along the way. You encounter a pretty little flower, “Oh, I think I’ll pick you up and take you home.”
It’s funny when you explained the cat and dog analogy, because immediately after I saw the push and pull.
Another thing, you go to a party and you kind of make your rounds, like the mayor campaign that I talk about in “How To Be A 3% Man.” Just saying hello to everybody there, clinking your glass. Say you’re at a baby shower, “Isn’t this great? I’m so happy for our friends, cheers!” And then you go on to the next group.
What will be interesting is later on when you’re just hanging out in a certain place that you pick that’s comfortable, all those other people, especially any single ladies, they’ll find a way to come back over and talk to you and put themselves into your orbit. It makes it really easy, and you’re able to tell who really likes you and who doesn’t.
But soon after when I started cracking down on my career, I started running out of time.
This is why you focus on your purpose and your mission in life, because it makes you busy doing important things. And therefore, when you’re busy, you don’t have much time to waste and you’re less inclined to let people waste it, including women with low interest or friends that don’t really appreciate and value you. You’d rather just do something else more productive and hang out with people that really do like you and make you feel needed, wanted and desired.
I have 2 jobs to pay the bills and I work on my music and social media on my down time, so I don’t have a whole lot of time to go out nowadays. That’s when I started to go on the dating apps. I only use Chispa and Bumble. I like Chispa because it is a Latin dating app and I prefer Latin women, so that works out just nicely, and I also like Bumble for the fact that the girl texts you first, so it immediately starts the chase just like you said!
Absolutely. I think Bumble is a great dating app, especially if you’re looking for somebody to date and have a relationship with. But you’ve got to pay attention, because there’s lots of chicks on there that you’ll match with these days, which I’ve noticed has just start happening the last few years, and they’re hookers. You get all excited about a match, and it turns out it’s some chick that belongs to the streets matching with you, because she wants to empty your wallet for opening up her legs. And there are plenty of guys out there that take advantage of that, that are desperate, needy. But if you’re following my work, you don’t have to worry about those things.
So, with that I’ve been able to talk to women and set up dates all while not sacrificing too much time on my drive and mission as a man. I have been seeing 3 women for a bit now with whom I’ve been having a great time with, great sex, and fun dates!
I’m sure you’re suffering through that. We’ll send cards to help you with your grief therapy, to help you cope.
They are all also aware that I don’t want something exclusive nor a commitment. There have a been a few girls that didn’t like that, so I moved on because that is my truth and what I want at this point in my life.
Good for you. That’s the important thing. You’re honest, brutal honesty, even if it means they won’t date you or see you or sleep with you anymore because you’re not interested in a relationship. That’s a double edged sword. When you live from that perspective, you’re going to have women that won’t want to stick around and that’s okay. That’s why authenticity and being real and being honest is actually always the best way to go.
So, to wrap up my message to all the men who are still learning or just starting out is to trust in the process.
Well, success is a process. Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year, it’s a process.
As long as you implement Corey’s techniques and tips and look within yourself to want to be better, you will 100% get there.
Well, like I said earlier, it’s a it’s not a matter of hope. It’s a matter of time. Do the repetitions and you’re going to get the results. It’s inevitable.
So, thank you again Coach. Without your book, videos and help I’d still be chasing women and texting them until they’re bored of me, Lol. Have a great day coach and maybe you’ll hear from me again!
Well, hopefully you’ll send us another good success story down the road.
So if you’ve got a question or challenge you’d like to get my help with go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab on top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“One of the best things you can do to dramatically increase the quality of your life is to start talking to strangers and making small talk everywhere you go. Developing your social skills and the ability to make small talk is essential to getting what you want in your career, social life and romantic life. When you can strike up conversations with total strangers anywhere and anytime, you can make friends, allies and create rapport with potential romantic prospects at will. This will grow your confidence and make you a people person who is easy going and easy to talk to. When people like you because you took the time to take a sincere authentic interest in who they are as a human being, it makes it really hard to say no to you. It’s hard to say no to someone we like. This gives you the power to influence others when you make it easy for people to like you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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